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|Index||60 reviews in total|
This movie is exactly what it explicitly claims to be. It is nudity,
and humour characteristic of junior-high students; the film neither
to be nor achieves anything more. The best way to describe "Private
is simply this: It's a flick Al Bundy would love. Need we say more?
fans of Phoebe Cates will appreciate it, as will male fans of Betsy
and any fans of female nudity in general, but those looking for any more
edifying characteristics will be sadly disappointed.
I advise renting this movie IF and ONLY IF you're looking for what it patently advertises. There's nothing particularly unwholesome or filthy about "Private School" -- i.e., little or no violence, and none toward females -- but there's equally little in it that's particularly wholesome or clean, as well.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A run of the mill movie from the 80's with nudity, silliness and boys wanting to see nubile girls bereft of clothing with some broad humour. The movie gets it's rating even though it is a watered down version of the superb Fast Times at Ridgemont High which also starred Phoebe Cates. Yes Ms. Cates is nice to look at but she does not have the ability to carry this movie. The story basically is of some boys and girls at two private schools and all the mischief they seem to get into. The cast tries but I have seen this movie many other times and all the clichés. Fun for the memories but like one's youth something are best in the past.
This movie is a dud. Scene after irreverent scene of moronic adolescent hijinks and dumb dialogue. The start-to-finish idiocy is retch-inducing. However, tan and shapely Betsy Russell's revealing appearances make the film palatable--barely.
I had to laugh when I saw that another reviewer learned of this movie
from Electronic Games magazine in 1983. I must have had the same issue
kicking around my bedroom for years, and the ad always stuck in my mind
(must have been Phoebe Cates in that leotard). I didn't see it myself
till the mid-90's however, so there's nothing for me to be nostalgic
otherwise about the film.
The scene of Modine and his cronies pretending to be women while sneaking around is so bad it has to be seen to be believed.
The film represents the more forgettable of the 80s teen flicks, and when you consider at the same time we had Porky's and Revenge of the Nerds, 2 of the genre's best, this was put out as a complete cash grab.
About a year before Phoebe Cates was in this garbage, she was in a little movie called Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That film turned out to be the sleeper of 1982 due to its marvelous script and great cast. Flash forward a year later and she is now in a pale wannabe that basically tries to rip off a great film. The story is non-existent and whatever plot this film has is basically the same as the other teen sex romps that came out this year. Too bad that an actress as talented as Ms. Cates had to make a bad career move by acting in this film the year after appearing in a film that, to me, was the American Graffiti of its generation. In fact, she is probably the only actor in this film to have steady work after the release of this film. Avoid this film at all costs.
This "comedy" about Matthew Modine & his sex crazed buddies was allegedly created by those in the marketing department as a sure fire hit. The only thing they forgot was a script, good actors, funny scenes... A disaster. Not even beautiful Phoebe Cates can save.
I first heard of this film, believe it or not, in a videogame magazine.
Electronic Games showed a full page ad for this yawning raunchfest in 1983,
but I didn't see it until 1987 or so.
What happens when you put a mix of hot young stars, actors from yesteryear, a horrible script, and a T.V. movie director? You get this 80's disgrace about the sexual shenanigans at two private schools. Relying on dumb, crude humour as well as every school stereotype in the book, this film brings it all to the table. Even though Betsy Russell brings her imposing assets to celluloid, it doesn't help the fact the film relies on pure stupidity and embarrassment to get people to enjoy it. Even Porky's did a better job at emulating the sex-hungry teens than this one. Enroll at this "Private School" at your own risk.
Undoubtedly Matthew Modine and Phoebe Cates fantasize about the day that the negative of Private School might vanish from the face of the earth, as it surely represents an embarrassing nadir in their careers. I love teensploitation, but this film bottoms out as one of the worst of its kind, making My Tutor look like Ibsen and The Last American Virgin look like Shakespeare. Only the most die-hard fans of character legends like Fran Ryan, Richard Stahl, and Frances Bay should bother with this picture, which also features a thankless part for Sylvia Kristel (as the sex education teacher, naturally). Martin Mull earns the only laughs in a cameo as a pharmacist eager to see that teenagers practice safe sex and good oral hygiene.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'm surprised this movie isn't in the Bottom 100 list here at IMDb.
This piece of garbage showed up on television late one night, and I
regretted ever watching this movie.
Many of the characters were extremely clichéd and horrible at acting. Bubba is the pervert, Jim is the heartthrob, Miss Dutchbok is the typical headmistress that everyone hates, and so on and so forth. All men in this movie are portrayed as skirt-chasers, perverts, or extremely horny. The female leads are dim-witted, naive, and absolutely pretty. The script was rather unfunny, as much as it tries to be. What bothered me as well was the unrealistic events in the movie. For example, Bubba is caught as a Peeping Tom by his "girlfriend" Betsy. Several times, actually. Betsy calls him a pervert, then decides that maybe they should get back together again, after many examples of him being a complete and utter jerk. Other characters I felt were unnecessary, such as the Sex Ed. teacher. I would've given more stars if her character was used to show how naive these girls were about sex. There are several issues addressed in the movie as well, such as lesbianism, premarital sex, or father-daughter relationships. However, this movie skims all of these issues, and becomes a brainless flick.
Watch it for the nude scenes, but other than that, this is one horrible movie.
If you simply enjoy watching beautiful women, this film is worth a shot. The plot sucks, the characterizations suck, but Phoebe Cates and "the other woman" (I can't remember her name) are worth the trouble of the patience needed to get through the film. The topless ride on the horse, and the strip tease are memorable scenes that have stuck with me over the years since seeing this film some ten years ago. Phoebe Cates is is by far the more gorgeous beauty in the film, but not as titilating as "the other woman," who shows quite a bit more skin--I suppose that is the burden of blondes in our society. The stupid and overweight hijinx of Bubba are quite annoying and can be sped through with no loss of quality. Look for the scenes with the two beauties and you'll do this film whatever justice it was intended when produced.
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