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|Index||59 reviews in total|
It reminds me of my 3 years at Columbia international college in
Take a look at their campus (www.cic-totalcare.com) and you'll find it really resembles the school in this movie.
Even the dorms are alike.
Anyway, many parents of girls know adolescence does not arrive on a specified date. They know it has nothing to do with a magical number like 14. The signs might be sporadic at first: a sudden outburst that seems like an overreaction, a little more sarcasm peppering their answers to your questions, a little less cooperation.
See "Private School," if you like loads of pretty young actresses
playing teenage schoolgirls in various stages of undress, some full
frontal. "Private School" is also full of lecherous slob males of
various ages, stale jokes, unfunny slapstick and potty humor. In other
words, it's not much more offensive than a middling "Benny Hill"
episode shown on European TV. I liked "Private School" largely because
it also contains a sweet, but predictable romance between the lovely
Phoebe Cates ("Paradise," "Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Matthew
Modine ("Vision Quest," "Memphis Belle," "Cutthroat Island"). Alas, you
don't get to see Ms. Cates' lovely B cups, but you get plenty of Betsy
Russell's Cs as well as one particularly fresh-faced blonde's Ds. If
what I just said doesn't offend you, you're likely to find "Private
School" just the movie for you.
I give "Private School" a "5".
Christine (The MUCH over-rated Phoebe Cate) plans to lose her virginity
to Jim (Matthew Modine, whom would a year later play Birdy in the great
movie of the same name). Meanwhile Jim's friends plot to see as many
nude girls as possible in this typical 80's teenage sex romp. While
infinitely better than "Last American Virgin" this film is still way
below "Porky's" But Betsy Russell DOES have a great horse riding scene.
Worth a watch at least once for that.
Eye Candy: Kari Lizer and Julie Payne only show one breast each, Betsy Russell and Brinke stevens show boobs as well as bums, Lynda Wiesmeier shows all three B's, and Phobe Cate only shows her butt, plus various girls take part in a shower scene
Where I saw it: Encore Love
Okay, this movie is not great or good. I give it a "so-so" and that is being kind. However, it is a notable and highly watchable film for one reason: the parts are better than the sum. The adult characters are actually pretty good and get some laughs, and there is of course the wonderful Phoebe Cates (my favorite actress). I am Phoebe's biggest fan and seeing her in a less than stellar film makes me root for her all the more. As a woman of about her same age I identify with all of Phoebe's roles. I also admire her appearance in this film. She looks great, has the coolest cherry leotard (where can I buy one?), and her performance, as usual, is right on the mark (okay the mark is someplace pretty bad but that makes her ability to hit it all that more impressive). Phoebe Cates has been in some pretty great films...Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Bright Lights Big City, Heart of Dixie, Shag, Bodies Rest and Motion as well as some just fun ones...Paradise, Lace I and II, Gremlins 1 and 2, Date With An Angel, and Drop Dead Fred. But, Phoebe hasn't done that many films so whatever there is out there I am grateful for. Private School is not the place we wish Phoebe to be at, but since she's there we should share her experiences and be grateful. I guess what I am trying to say is that a bad movie with Phoebe Cates is better than a good film without her. And that says a lot for Phoebe Cates. If you're a guy you'll like this film because Phoebe Cates makes all men melt (at least those that like beautiful women), and if you're a gal, you'll like this film because you will identify with Phoebe Cates...she's that type of actress.
I say the Betsy Russell topless horseback riding scene alone is worth giving this movie 10 stars! And whose idea was it to show it in slo-mo? Brilliant!! I hope that guy won an Oscar! I also enjoyed the scene with Mrs. Dutchbok and Chauncey in the back seat of the limousine. However, I could have lived without the scene of Matthew and Phoebe at the hotel. Too much of an attempt at some genuine tenderness! If I wanted to see that, I would've watched "Endless Love" or something. Give me prime T&A and slapstick highjinx and I'm satisfied.
While the movie was definitely corny, it has it laughs. However I was disappointed to find out Martin Mull was not credited for his hilarous performance as the pharmacist. Early Matthew Modine flick, but his charm is evident even in this early picture.
This movie is exactly what it explicitly claims to be. It is nudity,
and humour characteristic of junior-high students; the film neither
to be nor achieves anything more. The best way to describe "Private
is simply this: It's a flick Al Bundy would love. Need we say more?
fans of Phoebe Cates will appreciate it, as will male fans of Betsy
and any fans of female nudity in general, but those looking for any more
edifying characteristics will be sadly disappointed.
I advise renting this movie IF and ONLY IF you're looking for what it patently advertises. There's nothing particularly unwholesome or filthy about "Private School" -- i.e., little or no violence, and none toward females -- but there's equally little in it that's particularly wholesome or clean, as well.
Private School is one of those movies which, all these years later, you
just know that everyone who had anything to do with making it is
embarrassed to have been involved. Heck, I'm embarrassed and all I did
was watch the stupid thing. It's a teen sex comedy about the students
at two private schools, one for girls and one for boys. The plot
revolves around the boys and their rather pathetic attempts to see the
girls naked. Antics ensue. Desperately unfunny antics. Even in the most
horrible comedy movies there's usually a good laugh or two sprinkled in
somewhere. Not here. There is nothing funny in this movie. Nothing. The
movie features a young Matthew Modine who was very fortunate to salvage
a career after appearing in this turkey and Phoebe Cates, fresh off her
Fast Times at Ridgemont High bikini brilliance. Ray Walston, who played
Mr. Hand in Fast Times, also pops up. Oh, how I wish I had just watched
Fast Times again instead of sitting through this debacle of a movie.
Aside from Modine, Cates and Walston the cast is made up of a bunch of nobodies, most of whose acting is so terrible it is easy to see why they had no careers to speak of. The closest thing to a somebody besides the aforementioned trio is Betsy Russell. It is her character, Jordan, who's the bad girl determined to break up the sweet, innocent couple played by Modine and Cates. Jordan's seductive weapon of choice? Topless horseback riding. Subtle. If nothing else that provides a memorable fifteen seconds of film. Of course if the best thing you can say about a movie is that a girl takes her shirt off and rides around on a horse for fifteen seconds you know it must be a truly awful movie indeed. There's also the obligatory shower scene which at least gives us a few minutes of relief from the movie's hideous dialogue, terrible jokes and incredibly uninteresting plot. Very early on in the movie one of the characters goes off to get herself a bag full of horse excrement. Seriously. There's a statement about this movie's quality right there. How would I succinctly describe this movie? It's exactly what's in that bag.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A run of the mill movie from the 80's with nudity, silliness and boys wanting to see nubile girls bereft of clothing with some broad humour. The movie gets it's rating even though it is a watered down version of the superb Fast Times at Ridgemont High which also starred Phoebe Cates. Yes Ms. Cates is nice to look at but she does not have the ability to carry this movie. The story basically is of some boys and girls at two private schools and all the mischief they seem to get into. The cast tries but I have seen this movie many other times and all the clichés. Fun for the memories but like one's youth something are best in the past.
This movie is a dud. Scene after irreverent scene of moronic adolescent hijinks and dumb dialogue. The start-to-finish idiocy is retch-inducing. However, tan and shapely Betsy Russell's revealing appearances make the film palatable--barely.
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