[after Bond has escaped]
Kamal Khan: Mr. Bond is indeed of a very rare breed... soon to be made extinct.
James Bond: [looking at the tattoo on Magda's back] Forgive my curiosity, but, what is that?
Magda: That's my little octopussy.
Vijay: Is he still there?
Q: You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!
[Confronting James Bond]
Kamal Khan: You have a nasty habit of surviving.
James Bond: You know what they say about the fittest.
James Bond: [Q's mechanized version of the "Indian Rope Trick" malfunctions] Having problems keeping it up, Q?
Q: Experimental model!
[General Orlov tries to board the circus train, but is shot down by the German border guards. General Gogol, who by now learned about Orlov's scheme, approaches the fatally-injured man, looking at him disdainfully]
General Anatoly Gogol: [contemptuously] A common thief. A disgrace to the uniform!
Orlov: Yes, but tomorrow, I shall be a hero of the Soviet Union.
[despite his pain, Orlov smiles faintly, and then dies]
General Anatoly Gogol: I believe I express the opinion of everyone present that adoption of NATO proposals does not compromise our defensive position.
Orlov: [clears throat] Comrade Chairman.
Soviet Chairman: General Orlov.
Orlov: General Gogol is presumptuous. He speaks for himself and others who cling to *timid*, outdated and unrealistic policies! Must I remind you, the committee, of our *overwhelming* superiority over NATO forces before we give it away?
Kamal Khan: [preparing to leave the circus, where a bomb is placed] General, excuse me. I have some traveling arrangements to make. Enjoy the show.
US general: Thank you.
US aide: I'm sure the general will get a big blast out of this.
Kamal Khan: I know he won't be disappointed.
Magda: I guess this is good night.
James Bond: I could come in for a nightcap.
[Gobinda puts a hand in front of Magda's door]
James Bond: Some other time perhaps.
James Bond: [Gobinda walks Bond back to his room] I don't suppose you'd care for a nightcap?
[Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon]
James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q: It goes by hot air.
James Bond: Oh, then you can.
James Bond: [bad guys are chasing Bond and Vijay] Vijay, we've got company!
Vijay: No problem, this is a company car.
[car accelerates through crowds]
Jim Fanning: [after Bond bids for the egg] Have you gone mad?
James Bond: Let's see how badly he wants it.
Q: [being kissed by Octopussy's girls after knocking out a bandit] Cut it out! We don't have time for that! Later perhaps.
Orlov: [enters the trailer, sees Bond in Mischka's 'Twin One' clothes from behind and mistakes him for Mischka] Leave that! Let's go.
James Bond: [turns around, facing Orlov with pointed gun] Let's stay. Sit on that box. Hands on your knees. Come on, move! Now why is that bomb on the train?
Orlov: Who are you?
James Bond: I'm British Secret Service.
Orlov: You should be more concerned about getting out of here alive.
James Bond: I am more concerned about an atomic bomb exploding on a US Air Force base in West Germany! You surely can't be inviting a nuclear war? What happens when the US retaliates?
Orlov: [grinning] Against whom?
James Bond: [frowning, realizing Orlov's scheme] My God... of course. Our early-warning system will rule out the bomb having come from Russia or anywhere else. Everyone will assume incorrectly... that it was a American bomb triggered accidentally.
Orlov: Yes, that would be the most plausible explanation.
James Bond: Europe and NATO will then insist on full nuclear disarmament... and leaving every border undefended for you and the Warsaw Pact to walk across at will!
Orlov: You took the words right out of my mouth.
James Bond: And I suppose it doesn't matter a damn to you that thousands of innocent people will be killed in this little "accident" of yours?
Orlov: Better than letting a handful of old men in Moscow bargain away our advantage in disarmament talks!
James Bond: On your feet, General. You're going to stop that train.
Orlov: [they hear hoot as the train starts to move off] It's too late.
James Bond: You can stop it at the border.
[suddenly the door opens. Bond turns around to see a Russian soldier. Bond kills the soldier before he manages to point his rifle, and meanwhile Orlov escapes]
[Bond is dragged from a river onto a tour boat]
Woman on Tour Boat: Are you with our group?
James Bond: No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour!
Q: [Q is demonstrating a pen filled with acid] Dissolves all metals.
James Bond: Wonderful for poison pen letters...
Q: Pay attention, 007!
[Vijay has just stopped some bad guys with his tennis racket]
Vijay: Game, set and match!
James Bond: You didn't tell me there was going to be this much security.
Bianca: They moved the flight up to this afternoon.
James Bond: Well, we're going to have to go ahead as planned anyway.
[Bianca hands an ID badge with the name 'Luis Toro' to Bond]
James Bond: Toro. Sounds like a load of bull.
[Twin Two throws several knives at Bond, which pass through his clothes, pinning him to a cabin door]
Twin Two: [draws another knife] And this... for my brother...
[Bond plucks one of the knives from the door, and throws it at Twin Two, hitting him fatally in his stomach]
James Bond: And that's for 009!
James Bond: [the real Col. Luis Toro has found Bond] Well, it's small world. You're a Toro, too!
Front Desk Clerk: I hope you have a pleasant stay.
[Bond eyes a beauty nearby who smiles at him]
James Bond: I'm, ah, sure I will.
James Bond: [handing a wad of Indian cash to his accomplice] That should keep you in curry for a few weeks.
James Bond: I would have taken that double, myself.
Kamal Khan: Then, why don't you take over the Major's position? Mr?
James Bond: Bond, James Bond.
Fakir: [Bond fights one of the thugs, throwing him onto a bed of nails] Get out of my bed!
Octopussy: Who is he?
Kamal Kahn: Englishman. Likes eggs, preferably Fabergé, and dice, preferably loaded.
[Bond is in traction]
Octopussy: I wish...
James Bond: What?
Octopussy: I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition.
[Bond releases himself from traction]
Octopussy: Oh, James.
[Bond kisses Octopussy passionately]
James Bond: [using Kamal's loaded dice to beat him in backgammon] Double sixes. Fancy that!
James Bond: [he tosses all his money to the crowd] Easy comes, easy goes!
M: You had no business bidding for that egg! What would you have done if you'd had been stuck with it?
James Bond: Then I would have claimed it was a fake, sir... and not paid.
M: Not paid?
James Bond: Here is the real one. I swiped it with the fake at the auction.
M: Good God. And what happens when the buyer discovers this?
James Bond: He complains.
James Bond: I don't think he will complain. According to Fanning, this Kamal usually sells. Now he buys. I think the fake will smoke him out. I had a tail follow him to Heathrow, where he caught a plane to Delhi.
M: You must go there, too. I'll have Sadruddin, our man at Station I, there to assist you.
James Bond: Yes, well, I have exactly 35 minutes to catch that plane.
M: Oh, Bond... sign a chit for that egg on your way out... it's government property now.
James Bond: [Bond's jet is on empty but he manages to land it next to a gas station and the pump attendant comes out to greet him] Fill er' up, please!
Soviet Chairman: World Socialism will be achieved peaceably. Our military role is strictly defensive. Is that understood?
James Bond: Well, I must say you've become more beautiful everyday.
Miss Moneypenny: *I'm* over here.
James Bond: Oh, of course you are.
Miss Moneypenny: And this is Miss Penelope Smallbone - my new assistant.
James Bond: What can I say Miss Moneypenny, except to say that she is - as attractive and, eh, - as charming...
Miss Moneypenny: As I used to be?
James Bond: I didn't say that.
Miss Moneypenny: You're such a flatter, James.
James Bond: Oh, Moneypenny, you know there never has been and - there never will be anybody but you.
Miss Moneypenny: So, you've told me.
James Bond: Welcome to universal exports.
[Bond gives Miss Smallbone a bouquet of red carnations]
Miss Moneypenny: Take it dear, that's all you'll ever get from him.
Penelope Smallbone: Thank you, Commander Bond.
James Bond: You know me?
Penelope Smallbone: Miss Moneypenny described you.
Miss Moneypenny: In nauseating detail.
James Bond: Really?
M: Do you know what this is?
James Bond: Why, it looks like a Fabergé egg, sir. One of the jeweled eggs made by Carl Fabergé as an Easter gift to the Russian royal family. They're priceless and very rare. This one contains a model of the imperial stage coach.
M: Top marks, 007.
James Bond: Thank you, sir.
M: Except - it's a fake.
M: Eyes only, 007. Operation Trove. You'll be replacing 009. He turned up dead in East Germany with that egg in his hand.
Orlov: A lightening thrust by ten armored divisions from the north and by five more through Czechoslovakia, leads to total victory in five days against any possible defense scenario.
General Anatoly Gogol: This is absolute madness! We know where it will end. NATO will counterattack with nuclear weapons!
Orlov: Never! The West is decadent - and divided! It has no stomach to risk our atomic reprisals! Throughout Europe daily demonstrations demand unilateral nuclear disarmament.
General Anatoly Gogol: I see no reason to risk war to satisfy your personal paranoia and thirst for conquest!
James Bond: May I join you? Sotheby's. Half a million pounds.
Magda: The man at the auction.
James Bond: Precisely.
Magda: You have a very good memory for faces.
James Bond: And figures.
James Bond: Ah, Q - how are you?
Q: Most unhappy, 007, thanks to you. How can I be expected to maintain the quality of my work? Sent out here at a moment's notice! No proper facilities!
James Bond: Yes, well, you wouldn't have a small piece of thread, now. Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q: Ah, they missed you. What a pity!
James Bond: I've also mislaid my PPK.
Q: Anything else?
James Bond: No, that's all Q.
Q: Really, 007! Look, I haven't time for these adolescent antics!
James Bond: Let's put it this way, up to now you are the least lethal and, by far, the prettiest of Kamal's friends that I've come across.
Magda: Thank you.
James Bond: So, does he have a proposition for me or - do you?
Magda: He suggests trade. The egg - for you life.
James Bond: Well, I heard the price of eggs was going up, but, isn't that a little high?
Magda: It's for my scrapbook. I collect - memories.
James Bond: Well, let's get on with - making a few.
Galley Mistress: In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Come on, girls! In. Out.
Kamal Khan: Good evening, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: Good evening.
Kamal Khan: Well rested? I believe you and Miss Magda have - met?
James Bond: It was a pleasure.
Magda: You're too kind.
James Bond: At the risk of appearing to be making light dinner conversation, may I ask exactly why I'm here?
Sadruddin: It belongs to a fabulously wealthy woman who lives on the floating palace.
James Bond: Who is she?
Sadruddin: No one knows her real name; but, she's known as Octopussy.
James Bond: Well, that's the name I heard at Kamal's.
Vijay: I hear the island is fully of beautiful women. No men allowed.
James Bond: Really? Sexual discrimination. I'll definitely have to pay it a visit.
Octopussy: Good evening. I wondered when you might arrive.
James Bond: So you are the mysterious Octopussy.
Octopussy: And you are James Bond, 007, Licensed to Kill. Am I to be your target tonight?
Kamal Khan: Octopussy, I would enjoy another opportunity to take care of Mr. Bond, personally.
Octopussy: I will take care of Mr. Bond, myself.
Kamal Khan: Good night. And, enjoy yourself, Mr. Bond.
Octopussy: Mr. Bond, smuggling is no concern of the Secret Service. I've violated no English law. You're free to leave; but, I'd much rather prefer if you'd stay as my guest for a few days.
James Bond: I'd like that.
Octopussy: Oh, a man of principal - with a price on his head. Naturally you do it for Queen and Country. I have no country. I have no price on my head!
Octopussy: [James embraces and kisses Octopussy] No!
James Bond: You're right, we are two of a kind.
Octopussy: Oh - James!
Octopussy: Is something wrong?
James Bond: Not really. Just a feeling.
Octopussy: Why don't you come back to bed.