Vijay: Is he still there?
Q: You must be joking! Double-0 seven on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!
[after Bond has escaped]
Kamal Khan: Mr. Bond is indeed of a very rare breed... soon to be made extinct.
James Bond: [bad guys are chasing Bond and Vijay] Vijay, we've got company!
Vijay: No problem, this is a company car.
[car accelerates through crowds]
James Bond: [looking at the tattoo on Magda's back] What is that?
Magda: That's my little octopussy.
James Bond: You didn't tell me there was going to be this much security.
Bianca: They moved the flight up to this afternoon.
James Bond: Well, we're going to have to go ahead as planned anyway.
[Bianca hands an ID badge with the name 'Luis Toro' to Bond]
James Bond: Toro. Sounds like a load of bull.
Jim Fanning: [after Bond bids for the egg] Have you gone mad?
James Bond: Let's see how badly he wants it.
[General Orlov tries to board the circus train, but is shot down by the German border guards. General Gogol, who by now learned about Orlov's scheme, approaches the fatally-injured man, looking at him disdainfully]
General Anatoly Gogol: [contemptuously] A common thief. A disgrace to the uniform!
Orlov: Yes, but tomorrow, I shall be a hero of the Soviet Union.
[despite his pain, Orlov smiles faintly, and then dies]
Orlov: [enters the trailer, sees Bond in Mischka's 'Twin One' clothes from behind and mistakes him for Mischka] Leave that! Let's go.
James Bond: [turns around, facing Orlov with pointed gun] Let's stay. Sit on that box. Hands on your knees. Come on, move! Now why is that bomb on the train?
Orlov: Who are you?
James Bond: I'm British Secret Service.
Orlov: You should be more concerned about getting out of here alive.
James Bond: I am more concerned about an atomic bomb exploding on a US Air Force base in West Germany! You surely can't be inviting a nuclear war? What happens when the US retaliates?
Orlov: [grinning] Against whom?
James Bond: [frowning, realizing Orlov's scheme] My God... of course. Our early-warning system will rule out the bomb having come from Russia or anywhere else. Everyone will assume incorrectly... that it was a American bomb triggered accidentally.
Orlov: Yes, that would be the most plausible explanation.
James Bond: Europe and NATO will then insist on full nuclear disarmament... and leaving every border undefended for you and the Warsaw Pact to walk across at will!
Orlov: You took the words right out of my mouth.
James Bond: And I suppose it doesn't matter a damn to you that thousands of innocent people will be killed in this little "accident" of yours?
Orlov: Better than letting a handful of old men in Moscow bargain away our advantage in disarmament talks!
James Bond: On your feet, General. You're going to stop that train.
Orlov: [they hear hoot as the train starts to move off] It's too late.
James Bond: You can stop it at the border.
[suddenly the door opens. Bond turns around to see a Russian soldier. Bond kills the soldier before he manages to point his rifle, and meanwhile Orlov escapes]
[Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon]
James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q: It goes by hot air.
James Bond: Oh, then you can.
[Vijay has just stopped some bad guys with his tennis racket]
Vijay: Game, set and match!
Front Desk Clerk: I hope you have a pleasant stay.
[Bond eyes a beauty nearby who smiles at him]
James Bond: I'm, ah, sure I will.
Kamal Khan: [preparing to leave the circus, where a bomb is placed] General, excuse me. I have some traveling arrangements to make. Enjoy the show.
US general: Thank you.
US aide: I'm sure the general will get a big blast out of this.
Kamal Khan: I know he won't be disappointed.
Magda: I guess this is good night.
James Bond: I could come in for a nightcap.
[Gobinda puts a hand in front of Magda's door]
James Bond: Some other time perhaps.
James Bond: [Gobinda walks Bond back to his room] I don't suppose you'd care for a nightcap?
[Q's mechanized version of the "Indian Rope Trick" malfunctions]
James Bond: Having trouble getting it up, Q?
[Twin Two throws several knives at Bond, which pass through his clothes, pinning him to a cabin door]
Twin Two: [draws another knife] And this... for my brother...
[Bond plucks one of the knives from the door, and throws it at Twin Two, hitting him fatally in his stomach]
James Bond: And that's for 009!
Q: [being kissed by Octopussy's girls after knocking out a bandit] Cut it out! We don't have time for that! Later perhaps.
Octopussy: Who is he?
Kamal Kahn: Englishman. Likes eggs, preferably Faberge, and dice, preferably loaded.
[Confronting James Bond]
Kamal Khan: You seem to have this nasty habit of surviving.
James Bond: You know what they say about the fittest.
James Bond: [handing Q his coat] Do you think you can help me? Someone seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q: Oh, and missed you, did they? What a pity!
Magda: He suggests a trade. The egg for your life.
James Bond: Well, I heard the price of eggs was up, but isn't that a little high?
[Bond is dragged from a river onto a tour boat]
Woman on Tour Boat: Are you with our group?
James Bond: No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour!
Q: [Q is demonstrating a pen filled with acid] Dissolves all metals.
James Bond: Wonderful for poison pen letters...
Q: Pay attention, 007!
James Bond: [using Kamal's loaded dice to beat him in backgammon] Double sixes. Fancy that!
James Bond: [handing a wad of Indian cash to his accomplice] That should keep you in curry for a few weeks.
James Bond: [the real Col. Luis Toro has found Bond] Well, it's small world. You're a Toro, too!
Fakir: [Bond fights one of the thugs, throwing him onto a bed of nails] Get out of my bed!
[Bond is in traction]
Octopussy: I wish...
James Bond: What?
Octopussy: I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition.
[Bond releases himself from traction]
Octopussy: Oh, James.
[Bond kisses Octopussy passionately]
James Bond: [he tosses all his money to the crowd] Easy comes, easy goes!
M: You had no business bidding for that egg! What would you have done if you'd had been stuck with it?
James Bond: Then I would have claimed it was a fake, sir... and not paid.
M: Not paid?
James Bond: Here is the real one. I swiped it with the fake at the auction.
M: Good God. And what happens when the buyer discovers this?
James Bond: He complains.
James Bond: I don't think he will complain. According to Fanning, this Kamal usually sells. Now he buys. I think the fake will smoke him out. I had a tail follow him to Heathrow, where he caught a plane to Delhi.
M: You must go there, too. I'll have Sadruddin, our man at Station I, there to assist you.
James Bond: Yes, well, I have exactly 35 minutes to catch that plane.
M: Oh, Bond... sign a chit for that egg on your way out... it's government property now.