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Max Dugan Returns (1983) Poster

Quotes

Michael McPhee: Can you make money from philosophy?

Max Dugan: Yeah, if you have the right one.

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Michael McPhee: He's gonna go into philosophy.

Nora McPhee: Why?

Michael McPhee: 'Cause that's what he wanted.

Nora McPhee: Who told you that?

Michael McPhee: Mr. Wittgenstein.

Nora McPhee: Who's Mr. Wittgenstein?

Michael McPhee: Mr. Parker.

Nora McPhee: Mr. Parker is Mr. Wittgenstein?

[doorbell rings]

Nora McPhee: Umm... oh... what did he tell you?... Look, don't go into uhh, what's his name's room. I think there's something severely wrong with him!

[doorbell again]

Max Dugan: Uh, do you want me to get that?

Nora McPhee: It's the police!

Max Dugan: Nevermind.

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Nora McPhee: How do I know you have six months to live?

Max Dugan: We could sit here and wait.

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Nora McPhee: Michael, go do your homework...

[to Max]

Nora McPhee: There isn't something in his room that does his homework is there?

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Michael McPhee: [looking at the new refrigerator] It has an ice crusher!

Nora McPhee: Don't crush ice! Don't crush anything! It's a mistake! It doesn't belong to us!

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Max Dugan: My name isn't Parker.

Michael McPhee: Its not?

Max Dugan: No. Its Wittgenstein.

Michael McPhee: Wittgenstein?

Max Dugan: Gus Wittgenstein.

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Max Dugan: Maybe I'm your father, but you're not my daughter. Do you know what Kierkegaard once said?

Nora McPhee: Yes! And I'm not interested in any more of your roommates!

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Nora McPhee: The car was stolen! Didn't they tell you that?

Brian Costello: They tell me when other people's cars get stolen. They don't tell me when it's mine.

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Max Dugan: [Mike points the camcorder at Max] No, Mike, not me.

Michael McPhee: Why not?

Max Dugan: Well, certain primitive tribes believe that pictures steal your soul, and I don't have too much soul.

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Max Dugan: You've got enough dirty deals in your life. Don't turn your back on a payoff.

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Nora McPhee: I have to go. I have to live my life. I have to appear calm and intelligent, I am dating a person. We will discuss this when I get home.

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Max Dugan: You won it.

Nora McPhee: What?

Max Dugan: On a TV show.

Nora McPhee: I was never on a TV show!

Max Dugan: It was one of those TV shows you don't have to be on. I was finishing up the breakfast dishes when there's a knock at the door , and in comes a lawyer with a blue suit...

Nora McPhee: No.

Max Dugan: No?

Nora McPhee: No, no. I don't think I won this, I never won anything in my life. This is a mistake!

Max Dugan: But it had your name and address on the invoice. I signed for you. Now, she'll probably have to go down and do a few publicity pictures but the stuff is yours.

Michael McPhee: Maybe it's on the six o'clock news!

Nora McPhee: It's not on the six o'clock news, just turn that off and put everything down... a man with a blue suit, huh?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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