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Max Dugan Returns (1983) Poster

Quotes

Nora McPhee: How do I know you have six months to live?

Max Dugan: We could sit here and wait.

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Michael McPhee: Can you make money from philosophy?

Max Dugan: Yeah, if you have the right one.

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Michael McPhee: He's gonna go into philosophy.

Nora McPhee: Why?

Michael McPhee: 'Cause that's what he wanted.

Nora McPhee: Who told you that?

Michael McPhee: Mr. Wittgenstein.

Nora McPhee: Who's Mr. Wittgenstein?

Michael McPhee: Mr. Parker.

Nora McPhee: Mr. Parker is Mr. Wittgenstein?

[doorbell rings]

Nora McPhee: Umm... oh... what did he tell you?... Look, don't go into uhh, what's his name's room. I think there's something severely wrong with him!

[doorbell again]

Max Dugan: Uh, do you want me to get that?

Nora McPhee: It's the police!

Max Dugan: Nevermind.

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Nora McPhee: Michael, go do your homework...

[to Max]

Nora McPhee: There isn't something in his room that does his homework is there?

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Michael McPhee: [looking at the new refrigerator] It has an ice crusher!

Nora McPhee: Don't crush ice! Don't crush anything! It's a mistake! It doesn't belong to us!

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Max Dugan: My name isn't Parker.

Michael McPhee: Its not?

Max Dugan: No. Its Wittgenstein.

Michael McPhee: Wittgenstein?

Max Dugan: Gus Wittgenstein.

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Max Dugan: Maybe I'm your father, but you're not my daughter. Do you know what Kierkegaard once said?

Nora McPhee: Yes! And I'm not interested in any more of your roommates!

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Nora McPhee: [Regarding the motorbike that Brian has loaned to her] I don't have it anymore, it was stolen in the parking lot.

[Brian slowly starts to sink toward the ground]

Nora McPhee: But I told the police. I'm surprised they didn't tell you.

Brian Costello: They tell me when other vehicles are stolen. They don't tell me when it's mine.

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Max Dugan: [Mike points the camcorder at Max] No, Mike, not me.

Michael McPhee: Why not?

Max Dugan: Well, certain primitive tribes believe that pictures steal your soul, and I don't have too much soul.

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Max Dugan: You've got enough dirty deals in your life. Don't turn your back on a payoff.

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Nora McPhee: I have to go. I have to live my life. I have to appear calm and intelligent, I am dating a person. We will discuss this when I get home.

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Max Dugan: You won it.

Nora McPhee: What?

Max Dugan: On a TV show.

Nora McPhee: I was never on a TV show!

Max Dugan: It was one of those TV shows you don't have to be on. I was finishing up the breakfast dishes when there's a knock at the door , and in comes a lawyer with a blue suit...

Nora McPhee: No.

Max Dugan: No?

Nora McPhee: No, no. I don't think I won this, I never won anything in my life. This is a mistake!

Max Dugan: But it had your name and address on the invoice. I signed for you. Now, she'll probably have to go down and do a few publicity pictures but the stuff is yours.

Michael McPhee: Maybe it's on the six o'clock news!

Nora McPhee: It's not on the six o'clock news, just turn that off and put everything down... a man with a blue suit, huh?

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Nora McPhee: Listen. I'm trying to keep so many people happy, all at the same time, and I'm not one of them. But don't give up on me. I'm worth it, I promise.

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Brian Costello: Did you leave the vehicle unlocked?

Nora McPhee: I just told you they broke into it last month. The locks didn't work.

Brian Costello: On each side of the vehicle?

Nora McPhee: Why do you keep calling it a vehicle, it's hardly even a car.

Brian Costello: Don't you watch TV? We all talk like that.

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Nora McPhee: [about lost test papers] I'm sorry, look at it this way. For those that passed, they're not going to have any trouble passing again, and for those that fail, who have an extra night to study.

Luis: Shit!

Nora McPhee: This is English, Luis, save that discussion for Biology.

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Max Dugan: Life hasn't been all that wonderful to you, has it Nora?

Nora McPhee: I take what comes along.

Max Dugan: Well, why don't you take the good as well as the bad?

Nora McPhee: When it comes from the same place I get a little suspicious.

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Max Dugan: How do you know I'm Max Dugan?

Nora McPhee: You *told* me you were.

Max Dugan: I told you a lot of things, but so far you haven't liked any of them, so I'll keep on telling new ones until you pick out one you like.

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Mrs. Litke: [about house remodeling] They raise the teacher's salary this year?

Nora McPhee: No, no, no. I've been doing private tutoring in the evening.

Mrs. Litke: Mm, who you tutoring, Arabs?

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Brian Costello: Who is the man living in your house?

Nora McPhee: What man?

Brian Costello: This man.

[holding a picture of Max]

Brian Costello: Mr. Parker. Does odd jobs, he tells me. Came 10 days ago wearing a black hat, black coat, carrying a black satchel. Mrs. Litke is more dependable than the CIA.

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Nora McPhee: Can't you stop being a cop for five minutes and just be a friend?

Brian Costello: No, that's why I don't have too many friends.

Nora McPhee: Well, if it's one less you want, you're doing a terrific job...

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Nora McPhee: What if we went away together, all of us - to New Mexico, or Arizona. I could teach, get a job , just until...

Max Dugan: And the detective?

Nora McPhee: He's more interested in getting his man than his woman.

Max Dugan: You'd do that for me? Why?

Nora McPhee: I'd miss your pancakes in the morning.

Max Dugan: You've grown into an extraordinary young woman, Nora, and *I* deserve all the credit. If I didn't abandoned you, *God* knows what would have happened to you?

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Max Dugan: The only thing I ever learned in jail was that it was a terrific place to stay out of.

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Brian Costello: Tell me something. Do you think I'm corrupt?

Nora McPhee: Aren't we all - just a little bit?

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Nora McPhee: [cheering at ball game] Come on, Michael! For Spinoza, Sophocles, Aristotle!

Another Mother: She doesn't even know the names of her own team.

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[last lines]

Michael McPhee: [seeing the Mercedes drive by] It that?

Nora McPhee: My God, he's gonna drive to Brazil.

Nora McPhee: [waving] So long pop...

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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