| Pia Zadora | ... | Jerilee Randall | |
| Lloyd Bochner | ... | Walter Thornton | |
| Bibi Besch | ... | Veronica Randall | |
| Joseph Cali | ... | Vincent Dacosta | |
| Anthony Holland | ... | Guy Jackson | |
| Jared Martin | ... | George Ballantine | |
| Ray Liotta | ... | Joe Heron | |
| Carla Romanelli | ... | Carla Maria Peroni | |
| Olivier Pierre | ... | George Fox | |
| Kendal Kaldwell | ... | Joanne Castel | |
| Lou Hirsch | ... | Bernie | |
| Kerry Shale | ... | Walt Thornton Jnr | |
| Sandra Dickinson | ... | Nancy Day | |
| Shane Rimmer | ... | Adolph Fannon | |
| Nancy Wood | ... | Janie | |
| Ed Bishop | ... | Dr. Baker | |
| Gianni Rizzo | ... | Gino Paoluzzi (as Giovanni Rizzo) | |
| Mickey Knox | ... | Tom Castel | |
| Kenneth Nelson | ... | Bud Weston | |
| Jay Benedict | ... | Dr. Sloan | |
| Robyn Mandell | ... | Kim | |
| Cicely Browne | ... | Mrs. Stone (as Cecily Browne Laird) | |
| Billy J. Mitchell | ... | Gross | |
| Glory Annen | ... | Marion | |
| Harrison Muller Jr. | ... | Martin | |
| David Mills | ... | Kirk Anderson | |
| Mary D'Antin | ... | Margaret Ballantine | |
| Carolyn De Fonseca | ... | Joanna Smythe | |
| Cyrus Elias | ... | Nick Rossi | |
| Kieran Canter | ... | Gary James | |
| Joe Murphy | ... | John Casey | |
| Beverly Skelton | ... | Stacey Ryan | |
| Melissa Corkel | ... | Helen | |
| Daphna Kastner | ... | Annette | |
| Cindy Leadbetter | ... | Carol | |
| Richard McNamara | ... | Kick's Host (as Richard MacNamara) | |
| Edward Mannix | ... | Awards MC | |
| Kate Harper | ... | Actress in Film | |
| Colette Hiller | ... | Actress in Restaurant | |
| Mario Viggiano | ... | Actor in Restaurant | |
| Russel Case | ... | 1st Man in Restaurant | |
| Maurizio Fardo | ... | 2nd Man in Restaurant | |
| Lee De Barriault | ... | Agent's Receptionist | |
| Eve Slatner | ... | Nurse Receptionist | |
| Ted Rusoff | ... | Preacher (as Ted Russov) | |
| Dino Scandiuzzi | ... | Maitre D' | |
| Ian Danby | ... | Man in Kicks (as John Danby) | |
| Adele Miller | |||
| Jason Klassi | |||
| Jack Gilling | |||
| Leslie Rothwell | |||
| Craig Kelly | |||
| Van Earl Patterson | |||
| Richard Oneto | |||
| John E. Gartmann | |||
| David Traylor | (as D. Zed) | ||
| Eleonor J. McDonald | |||
| Denise Elland | |||
| Susan Telford | |||
| Antonio Maimone | |||
| Achille Brugnini | (as Achille Brunini) | ||
| Persiano Pasquale | |||
| Lisa Treadway | |||
| Robert Sommer | |||
| Victoria Zinny | |||
| Philomena Lonergan |
Directed by | |||
| Peter Sasdy | |||
Writing credits | ||
| Harold Robbins | (novel) | |
| Ellen Shepard | (adaptation) | |
| John Kershaw | (writer) & | |
| Shawn Randall | (writer) | |
Produced by | |||
| Tino Barzie | .... | associate producer | |
| Robert R. Weston | .... | producer | |
Original Music by | |||
| Charlie Calello | |||
Cinematography by | |||
| Brian West | |||
Film Editing by | |||
| Keith Palmer | |||
Production Design by | |||
| Enzo Bulgarelli | |||
Art Direction by | |||
| Adriana Bellone | |||
| Luciano Spadoni | |||
Costume Design by | |||
| Giorgio Desideri | |||
Art Department | |||
| Fabrizio Alvaro | .... | set dresser | |
| Carlo Cascioli | .... | property master | |
| Mario Gentilini | .... | property master | |
| Luigi Marchione | .... | set dresser | |
| Luigi Sergianni | .... | set constructor | |
Sound Department | |||
| Michael Crouch | .... | dubbing editor | |
| Claude Hitchcock | .... | sound engineer | |
| Gerry Humphreys | .... | dubbing mixer | |
| Giulio Viggiani | .... | boom operator | |
Casting Department | |||
| Phyllis Kasha | .... | casting: New York | |
| Rose Tobias Shaw | .... | casting: London | |
Costume and Wardrobe Department | |||
| Bianca Erba | .... | seamstress | |
| Luciana Mancini | .... | seamstress: Pia Zadora | |
| Adalgisa Mosca | .... | wardrobe assistant | |
| Mary Lou Reinbold | .... | wardrobe: second unit | |
| Alberto Tosto | .... | wardrobe master | |
Editorial Department | |||
| Giorgio De Vincenzo | .... | assistant editor | |
| Len Tremble | .... | assistant editor | |
| Giorgio Venturoli | .... | assistant editor | |
Music Department | |||
| Ira Hearshen | .... | orchestrator | |
Other crew | |||
| David Amiri | .... | financial coordinator | |
| Rosalba Di Bartolo Tonti | .... | production secretary | |
| Lyda Garozzo | .... | accounting secretary | |
| Marco Giannoni | .... | production assistant | |
| Leila Kirkpatrick | .... | secretary to director: London | |
| Lynn J. Lewin | .... | assistant to producer | |
| Dorina Mari | .... | cashier | |
| Marion Mertes | .... | continuity | |
| Chuck Painter | .... | unit publicist | |
| Gina Pietralunga | .... | secretary to director: Rome | |
| Claudio Sabatilli | .... | cashier | |
| Gregory Kent Simmons | .... | production assistant: second unit | |
| Pippo Spoletini | .... | crowd marshall | |
| Stefano Trani | .... | production assistant | |
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| The Bad and the Beautiful | Valley of the Dolls | The Day of the Locust | Sunset Blvd. | The Unbearable Lightness of Being |
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The memory banks of most of the reviewers here must've short-circuited when trying to recall this Cubic Zirconia of a gem, because practically everyone managed to misquote Lloyd Bochner's Walter Thornton, when in a fit of peevish anger, he hurls the phallic garden nozzle at his new wife, Jerilee Randall-Thornton, (a nearly comatose Pia Zadora) which was used to sexually assault her earlier in the movie...but I'm getting ahead of myself. In any case, poor Lloyd could've been snarling that line at the speechless audience as much as he was his put-upon co-star.
Hard as it is for most of us to believe, especially these days, nobody in Hollywood sets out to INTENTIONALLY make a bad movie. This is certainly not the most defensible argument to make, since there just seem to be so damn many of them coming out. But then again, there is that breed of film that one must imagine during the time of its creation, from writing, casting and direction, must've been cursed with the cinematic equivalent of trying to shoot during the Ides of March.
THE LONELY LADY is in that category, and represents itself very well, considering the circumstances. Here we have all the ingredients in a recipe guaranteed to produce a monumentally fallen soufflé: Pia Zadora, a marginal singer/actress so determined to be taken seriously, that she would take on practically anything that might set her apart from her peers, (which this movie most certainly did!); a somewhat high-profile novel written by the Trashmaster himself, Harold Robbins (of THE CARPETBAGGERS and DREAMS DIE FIRST fame); a cast who probably thought they were so fortunate to be working at all, that they tried to play this dreck like it was Clifford Odets or Ibsen; plus a director who more than likely was a hired gun who kept the mess moving just to collect a paycheck, (and was probably contractually obligated NOT to demand the use of the 'Alan Smithee' moniker to protect what was left of his reputation.) Like Lamont Johnson's LIPSTICK, Meir Zarchi's I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, Roger Vadim's BARBARELLA, Paul Verhoeven's SHOWGIRLS or the Grandmammy of Really Bad Film-making, Frank Perry's MOMMY DEAREST, THE LONELY LADY is still often-discussed, (usually with disgust, disbelief, horrified laughter, or a unique combination of all three), yet also defies dissection, description or even the pretzel logic of Hollyweird. Nobody's sure how it came to be, how it was ever released in even a single theater, or why it's still here and nearly impossible to get rid of, but take it or leave it, it IS here to stay. And I don't think that lovers of really good BAD movies would have it any other way.