Nick: When I was a kid all I wanted was to be able to afford to eat in restaurants like this.
Alex Owens: Were you poor?
Nick: I was so poor I had hand-me-down lunches.
Nick: I'll bring him a doggy bag if you'll have dinner with me.
Alex Owens: I told you, I don't think it's a good idea to go out with the boss.
Nick: OK. Have it your way. You're fired. I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight.
Alex Owens: You call that dancing, rolling on the floor on your back?
Jeanie Szabo: Yes! so what, I make good money!
Alex Owens: Look at you! You call that dancing?
Jeanie Szabo: Yes!
Alex Owens: [Takes money, out of Jeanie's panties, and throws it on the wet ground in the rain] What's this shit? huh?
Jeanie Szabo: It's Mine!
Jeanie Szabo: Why'd you come, here?
Alex Owens: Because, you're my friend. Jerk.
[console's Jeanie, after their argument]
Jeanie Szabo: [Sobbing] I'm cold.
Alex Owens: So, am I.
[Jeanie continues crying]
Alex Owens: Come on, it's okay.
Pete: Number 174. 631503.
Nick: Pete, I don't want her zip code.
Pete: It's her Social Security number, asshole. She works for you.
Alex Owens: I don't want you buying me anything. I don't want you buying me, period!
Alex Owens: Did you know that the smallest penis ever measured was 1.1 inches?
Alex Owens: You like phone booths? You probably just like doing it in a bed, right?
Richie: [to himself] Hi. I'm Richie Blazik. Hi. I'm Richie Blazik. Did you hear about the Polack bank robber? He tied up the safe, blew the guard. Tied up the safe, blew the guard. Tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Jake Mawby: Hey, kid! Come here. Come her! What's the matter?
Richie: I'm nervous, Jake.
Jake Mawby: Oh.
[punches him in the gut]
Jake Mawby: Now you ain't nervous anymore! Now you're pissed off.