Alex Owens is a female dynamo: steel worker by day, exotic dancer by night. Her dream is to get into a real dance company, though, and with encouragement from her boss/boyfriend, she may get her chance. The city of Pittsburgh co-stars. What a feeling! Written by
Stewart M. Clamen <email@example.com>
Sometimes, it just helps to review the narrative, it really clarifies things. Go out into the world and find: a welder by day, dreams of being a ballet dancer, has a dinosaur as a mentor, lives in a warehouse that must rent for $10,000 per month, dances at the local bar that appears to have a multimillion dollar lighting and sound system? Does this sound real to you? I wish I could explain the plot to you; it does not have one. Basically, Beals and the ugliest dog on earth, hang out either at the dance bar or the warehouse. She does set the template for Baby in DIRTY DANCING by watching out for the world's worst ice skater and exotic dancer. This was later ripped off in the aforementioned stink bomb. The movie has one good song, WHAT A FEELING, that they play twice for a reason. The indigenous score is so awful: Bette Davis' Eyes, Maniac, that they ripped off Gloria by Laura Brannigan to make the soundtrack not stink quite so bad. Oh, I forgot hamburger boy, the world's worst stand up comic. Take it from me, unless it is FATAL ATTRACTION, if it says directed by Adrian Lynne, put the movie back. Do not believe me watch: 9 1/2 Weeks, Jacob's Ladder: his movies suck.
Show of hands, who thought the movie ends with her failing and jumping off a bridge? Please, we all know how it will end even the death of Jurassic woman. The acting is awful; only Triassic woman can even act and she is rarely on screen. Beals and Nouri may be attractive people but their reading of their lines is painful. The movie is slow, boring and badly acted. The music is dreadful. We know the ending before it happens. The climax is awful. If you are going to use a body double for Beals try not to pick someone five inches taller with a more muscular body and lighter skin tone. They have her throw her hair over her face; hey, I could hardly tell. Why does she fly through the air? Did she have the chili? Did the earth stop rotating? Is she from Krypton? Young people, in my theater people were laughing at this scene; it is not moving, it is hilarious. The movie is one of the worst pieces of poop you will ever sit through, don't, get up and turn it off. ABYSMAL MOVIE
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