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D.C. Cab (1983) Poster

(1983)

Quotes

Dell: Heck nobody goes in the army any more, except blacks. Someday one nigger's gonna wakeup and say, "We got the guns and the mustard gas and the tanks, hey were runnin the army!" And they're gonna take over the whole damn country and we'll be in with them already - we'll be Token Whites. Think about it.

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Dell: I don't work January the 8th, 'cause it's Elvis' birthday.

[imitates Elvis]

Dell: Oh hunh-hunh!

Dell: If I wanted responsibility I woulda been a damn sex surrogate!

Dell: Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy.

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Mr. Rhythm: Don't let your dick run your life.

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[last lines]

Tyrone: Where to?

Angel of Death: I am the Angel of Death. Take me to hell.

Tyrone: Got any luggage?

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Samson: Fool! Your fare is the only thing stopping me from breaking your face!

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Xavier: It's tough to be a man baby!

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Tyrone: Albert white bread, chicken shit, Hockenberry.

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Samson: Shut up, Dell!

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Dell: Bruce Lee ain't dead you know. They got him frozen in carbonite down under Chatsworth. They're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.

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Samson: Why don't you get off the street and get a decent job?

Hooker In Mr. T's Cab: Cause I need the bread!

Samson: Then get a job at the bakery.

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Buddy: [looking at male strippers] Those guys are faggots!

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FBI Chief: Did Albert ever discuss his political convictions with you?

Dell: Albert don't have no political convictions. He's an American!

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Tyrone: [shouting in megaphone] You better come out now, you scumbags!

Harold: Cops don't talk like that.

Tyrone: They do to me.

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Tyrone: This is the same jug Abraham Lincoln used. One drink and he freed the slaves. And we ain't had a job since.

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Harold: [Just before dropping Mr. Bravo in to a swimming pool from a balcony] You know what you're problem is Bravo? You're so short, your brain is just too close to your asshole.

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Samson: Albert's just telling the truth. We're the worst company in town, and we know it!

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Tyrone: ...and don't think I feel sorry for you 'cause your daddy died. My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years, when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more, he thought he was God. Which made me Jesus. This shit got pretty heavy.

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Tyrone: Albert, if I get killed I'm gonna kick your ass!

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Dell: [to Tyrone and Albert] Listen, let me tell you something. You're lucky those porkchops didn't shoot you and say you're crazed on PCP, 'cause that's what they always say about everybody they shoot. And I think they're lacing the bullets with PCP, that way they got an alibi for killing everybody. Now think about it.

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Maudie: [stopping Albert in diner as he tries to sneak off to talk to Claudette] Mister, now someday a handsome young man who is not a Cabbie is gonna walk through that door, carrying flowers and chocolates and some other gifts. And he is going to present himself and ask permission to take Claudette out on a respectable date. Now until that time, I want you to think of this place as a convent and her as a nun! Get it? N-O-N-E! Get out!

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Harold: Now haven't you ever heard of an act of faith?

Myrna: Harold, you have faith in God. You have faith in your country. You do not have faith in The Eight Stooges!

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Xavier: [to Albert on getting his license] Hey, baby! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of minimum wages!

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Ophelia: [addressing cabbies after Albert's motivational speech] You know, this is the first conversation around here that actually made any sense.

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Tyrone: Get out of my cab, I'm rich!

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Samson: We're the worst cab company in town, and we know it!

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Irene Cara: Are you always dressed like that?

Tyrone: [as Uncle Sam] No, last week I was the Statue of Liberty, but I couldn't get the crown on over my curlers.

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Tyrone: Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!

Albert Hockenberry: What?

Tyrone: Tell me you're wearing your daddy's boots!

Albert Hockenberry: I'm wearing them!

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Tyrone: [to Irene Cara] I always keep a picture of you in my cab.

[pulls down picture of a naked woman]

Tyrone: Wrong cab!

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Tyrone: Where are you at?

Mr. Bravo: Don't you know you're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition?

Tyrone: Ok. Where are you at, *asshole*?

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Samson: [after breaking the door down] Sorry, ma'am. Wrong house!

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Ambassador's Son: Albert?

Albert Hockenberry: Uh-huh.

Ambassador's Son: This your first time being kidnapped?

Albert Hockenberry: Uh-huh.

Ambassador's Son: It's our third.

Ambassador's Daughter: Yeah, don't worry!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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