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|Index||43 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Along with the dreary big budget bomb "The Awakening" and the enjoyably
idiotic Italian splatter-fest "Dawn of the Mummy," this deliciously
dreadful sci-fi/horror alien mummy abomination tried (and failed) to
inject some much-needed juice into the all dried up mummy fright
feature genre. Archeology professor Ben Murphy discovers the coffin of
the mysterious Ankh-Venharis (that's "Noble Traveler" to you and me) in
King Tutankhaman's Egyptian tomb. Murphy takes the mummified
interstellar stiff back to the California Institute of Sciences.
Naturally, the mummy comes back to life and shambles about the college
campus, offing dipstick students with its lethal fungus touch as it
tries to find the five glowing crystals it needs to go home.
Sluggishly paced, woodenly acted, poorly written, and flatly directed, "Time Walker" follows the basic pattern of many other then fashionable academia-set kill-the-collegians slash'n'gash movies. Boasting plenty of classically cruddy dialogue ("Listen you pervert -- if you don't get out of here I'll kick your bandaged butt!"), this wonderfully wretched stinker starts out pretty silly and becomes more increasingly ridiculous as it goes along, reaching an uproarious apex of all-out stultifying stupidity during its absurdly overwrought and sentimental conclusion. The cast reads like a veritable who's who of 80's exploitation cinema: "Motel Hell" 's Nina Axelrod, "Chained Heat" 's Greta Blackburn, Allene Simmons (she's one of the luscious ladies being eyeballed in the infamous shower sequence in "Porky's"), "Hell Night" 's Kevin Brophy as the dumb greedy X-ray technician who steals the mummy's hot rocks and accidentally revives it by over-amping the radiation; "Invasion U.S.A." 's Melissa Prophet (who does a brief topless scene and gets attacked by the mummy while taking a shower), and "Prom Night" 's Antoinette Bower. "Assault on Precinct 13" survivors Darwin Joston and Austin Stoker are reunited here as a diligent, no-nonsense police lieutenant and a wise pathologist, respectively. James "The Pathmark Man" Karen grumbles his way through the thankless role of the cranky college dean. Robert A. Burns (the titular psychotic white trash lunatic in the grimy, flesh-crawling "Confessions of A Serial Killer") was one of the set designers. Jason "Flesh Gordon" WIlliams not only co-wrote the story and co-produced the flick, but also has a small part as an overaged jerk frat boy. Prolific B-pic composer Richard Band supplies a surprisingly good creeped-out gloom-doom orchestral score. Robbie Goldberg's delectably cheesy cinematography goes overboard on the slipshod, would-be state-of-the-art fancy-pants visual flourishes: vertical wipes, shaky hand-held camera-work, green-tinted POV shots of the murderous mummy on the prowl, and some especially strenuous drawn-out slow motion. Bad to the point were it borders on the unbelievable, "Time Walker" serves as a potent reminder that sloppy, supremely ill-advised attempts at handy-dandy multi-genre combos can indeed be a surefire formula for superior shoddy schlock at its most entertainingly awful.
I don't know why, but I found this super-cheesy story of a mummy terrorizing a college campus a lot more entertaining than I should have. Sure, the acting and effects are horrid, but I thought the story was good for this kind of movie. A classic B-movie in my opinion.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Ahh, Mr. Ben Murphy. Before Bruce Campbell stole his crown, Murphy was
the King of Cheese. Unfortunately, Murphy was serious about his lousy
acting career. He really, actually thought that he had some talent.
In this crappy serving of Murphy's Law(that the more serious a movie with Murphy in it is supposed to be, the worse and more cheesy that movie will be)Murphy plays an anthropologist(yeah, right!) who finds a sarcophagus in King Tut's tomb. In it is a peculiar mummy who was a visitor to Tut's kingdom three thousand years ago. Apparently this mysterious visitor made people sick(literally), because he had some kind of weird fungus growing on him..Or something.
One of Murphy's idiot students touches the fungus, which got accidentally irradiated by another of his idiot students. It ate the moron student's hand faster than the flesh eating virus. Meanwhile, the mummy disappeared from his coffin(he felt the need to party. Well, it had been three thousand years, after all!) and started lurching around off camera looking for some ridiculous looking crystals that the idiot student who had irradiated the sarcophagus stole from it(larcenous as well as stupid.Did Murphy hand pick these guys?). The crystals glowed whenever the mummy got near them, becoming tiny disco balls. Welcome to the seventies, everyone! All that was missing was seeing the mummy do the Hustle.
Murphy discovers that the mummy is actually the body of an alien visitor. It is trying to retrieve the stupid looking crystals so that it can phone home. Apparently the alien was in a state of suspended animation or something, which is why the zap of radiation brought it back to life. Never mind that that deserves a big fat HUH? since this movie is so groovy and with it that it doesn't really have to make sense. In the end, the mummy retrieves its tacky jewelry and is about to beam itself up(to what, we'll never know, since I doubt the mother ship actually hung around waiting for it to return for three thousand years)when a security guard tries to shoot it. Murphy plays the hero and hurls himself onto the bullet(thank you, movie!) and then is beamed up with the alien. Good riddance, Murphy, and I hope you enjoy the anal probe.
Time Walker isn't really a bad movie at all.I really liked the very beginning with the planets and how the prolog was presented. It was a different mummy film with a different story.The effects were really good especially the crystals in the mummy/alien's device.The music by Richard Band was very good.I really don't know why people dislike this film.The from of the video box is really cool and the film is from Charter Entertainment but the box itself looks very much like CBS Fox box.If you are able to find Time Walker and haven't seen it before then get it because its out of print and its worth it in My opinion!Check it out!
This not-very-good mummy-alien flick does feature a cornucopia of your
favorite movie stars like BEN MURPHY ("Riding With Death"!), Bob Random
("Village of the Giants"!), Darwin Joston (Napolean in "Assault on Precinct
13"!), Austin Stoker (Bishop in "Assault on Precinct 13"!) as Dr. Ken
Melrose, Nina Axelrod ("Motel Hell"), Shari Belafonte-Harper (who was a
voice on "Rick Moranis in Gravedale High"!!!), Clint Young ("Rape Squad",
"Switchblade Sisters"), and best of all, Pathmark pitchman JAMES KAREN
("Poltergiest", "Return of the Living Dead")!
The plot is this: A priceless sarcophagus has been recovered in King Tut's tomb. Of course, it's taken to a small college in California where bumbling students can manhandle it and screw up X-raying it, instead of, oh, say, a museum. One loathsome, video-game loving student steals some diamond-type-thingees from the sarcophagus, sending the mummy on a poorly planned killing spree to get them back. For some reason, no one can catch a glimpse of the slow-moving, glowing mummy as it lumbers from killing to killing on the college campus.
This movie isn't very good. Not much happenens, except for some funny scenes where teens touch some radioactive goo on the mummy and start to get fungus growing all over them. The party scene with a bunch of obnoxious students dressed as mummys is also grating, and all James Karen does is mope and yell at Ben Murphy.
Pathmark means savings!
A combination of your classic Mummy movie mixed with your typical 80's
slasher fare.Throw an alien in to the mix and you get Time walker.The
execution wasn't anything new but I thought the genre melding plot was
pretty original.Not a bad movie IMO.Above average 80's semi
slasher,semi sci-fi movie.
Ben Murphy was fine as the lead.The rest of the acting was so so.But if your a fan of 80's horror movies like me,especially slasher movies,then you should have no problem looking past that.I wonder what the planned sequel was.They must have had one in mind since they ended it with that ambiguous to be continued ending.
I enjoyed this film, being into science fiction, but have seen both
versions. The video ends with a caption to be continued. TV version had
cut the last 5-10 minutes from the film and changed the ending, which lost
I would however, like to see if the sequel has been produced, by Video Guild - apparently they have bought the rights to this one. Any word of this being produced. Let me know.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
A professor gets ready to unveil a mummy to the media, only to have it not be in the sarcophagus when they open it. It appears the mummy is on the move because a X-ray tech zapped the thing with too big a large a dose. Plus, said tech stole some transmitter crystals hidden in a secret compartment of the mummy's coffin and he wants those back because it turns out this ain't no mummy! It is actually an alien life form that landed in Egypt 3,000 years ago, spread its deadly mold to Tutankhamen and then promptly died. Also, they have a fun cast including Ben Murphy as the Prof, Darwin Joston as a cop, Austin Stoker as a doctor and James Karen as the sneaky head of the school. Apparently this movie got the MST3K treatment at some point but I actually enjoyed it as a stand alone b-movie. It ain't gonna change the world but I was never bored. Quite possibly the only film to feature a mummified alien peeping tom. Jason (FLESH GORDON) Williams co-produced, provided the story and has a small cameo.
This is in fact one of the dumbest movies ever featured on "Mystery
Science Theater 3000". The main problem with this film is that there is
no reason in the least for the mummy to be an alien. When you finally
see him turn into him (or take off his wraps?) it's a horribly done
stereotypical alien costume. The strangest thing is that the alien
mummy is said not to want to hurt anyone. It just wants the crystals so
it can go back home. We then see the mummy alien brutally kill a guy
who posed no threat to him.
Why does he get away with that? And more importantly, why does that guy get teleported away with the alien? Everything about this is just plain stupid, even the very end where the guy burns his hand for no reason. None of this builds up to anything. To make things even worse, there are these stupid mummy puns throughout the whole movie. They make the whole mummy/daddy joke. I can't believe this was made in 1982. It looks more like it was made in the 1960's! I guess there always will be a place for modern B-movies. *
This film had something almost going for it as at times the movie held
my interest even with the gang from Mystery Science Theater 3000
riffing it. It held my interest enough that I may actually want to see
this film in an uncut state as this one not only got the MST3K edits,
but also looks like another casualty of that video company that would
get older movies and repackage them with either a new generic title
screen (this one and Marooned in Space) or they would play an entirely
different film during the opening credits (Pod People and Cave
Dwellers). In the end, it is still probably pretty bad though as there
were aspects of the film that were interesting and it had some good
effects, but it had a horrible setting and completely idiotic plot
points. This film stars Ben Murphy and the only other film that I have
seen him in is another MST3K film, Riding With Death. He is actually
somewhat decent in this one, I don't fault him for the horrid aspects
of the film, that falls back squarely on the screenwriter who seemed to
have absolutely no idea how to end the film so he ended it quickly and
vaguely, kind of reminiscent of Monster-A-Go-Go. Or, perhaps, the blame
for that ending falls on the company that repackaged the film and they
cut it short? Who knows?
The story has people discovering a mummy and bringing it back to a college where the head of the university is strongly in favor of using it to get more money or something. The man who discovered it, wishes to take a slower approach and considering the guy who discovered it is Ben Murphy and the hero, you know he is right. Well, a strange fungus is found with the mummy and an idiot who finds a secret compartment of things that look like diamonds and steals them. He X-rays the mummy a couple of times and this awakens the fungus which is very deadly to the touch and the most interesting aspect of said film. It really does a wicked number on anyone who touches it! The mummy wants those gems and the head of the school's sidekick wants to frame Ben Murphy who thinks the mummy is an alien and his girl gets one of those diamonds as a gift and soon gets targeted by the mummy who doesn't mean her any harm, but he sure meant to harm that dude he threw into the wall!
This made for a pretty good episode of MST3K. I found it a bit absurd when Tom Servo suggested that this film was worse than many of the films they had viewed up to said point. This was not worse by a long shot, in fact, it had some things working for it. I thought the way the fungus got people was cool, but they ditched that aspect, probably because it was too costly an effect. There is also a lot of point of view monster going on here with green light. It is not a good film I guess, but to say it is worse than some of the crap they had riffed is absurd.
So not a good film, but it had some points in it that were interesting. I would like to see an unedited version of the film just to see if they showed more of the fungus as it may have been something they cut out because it was too graphic. I do think the college setting and some of the plot points kind of doomed this one. We did not need to have a kid trying to sell the stones nor did we really need to see the head of the college and his sidekick trying to frame Ben Murphy as both of these things were just filler. You had an entire campus to kill, and you go really light on the kills. I guess because they wanted that really cheesy ending that just kind of halts the film and brings it to a complete stop.
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