Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982 TV Movie)
Sweeney Todd: [singing] There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/ And the vermin of the world inhabit it/ And its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit/ And it goes by the name of London.
Judge Turpin: [singing] What more can man require than love sir?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] More than love sir.
Judge Turpin: [singing] What sir?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Women.
Judge Turpin: [singing] Ah yes, women.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Pretty women.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Mrs Mooney has a pie shop. Does a business, but I notice something weird - lately all her neighbour's cats have disappeared.
Nellie Lovett: [singing, after Sweeney Todd has bitten into one of Mrs Lovett's pies] Is that just disgusting? You have to conceed it. It's nothing but crusting, here drink this - you'll need it.
Man: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd. His skin was pale and his eye was odd. He shaved the faces of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard of again. He trod a path that few have trod, Did Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
Company: [singing] Swing your razor wide, Sweeney! Hold it to the skies! Freely flows the blood of those who moralize...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Company: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] He served a dark and a vengeful god...
Company: [singing] He served a dark and a vengeful god...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] What happened then? Well, that's the play and he wouldn't want us to give it away. Not Sweeney...
Todd, Company: [singing] Not Sweeney Todd... the demon barber of Fleet... Street.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful. A foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life, And she was beautiful. And she was virtuous. And he was - Naive. There was another man who saw that she was beautiful, a pious vulture of the law, who, with a gesture of his claw removed the barber from his plate. Then there was nothing but to wait and she would fall, so soft, so young, so lost, and oh, so beautiful!
Anthony Hope: [speaking] And the lady, sir-did she-succumb?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Oh, that was many years ago... I doubt if anyone would know.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] You there, my friend. Come, let me hold you. Now, with a sigh you grow warm in my hand, my friend, my clever friend. Rest now, my friends. Soon I'll unfold you. Soon you'll know splendors you never have dreamed all your days, my lucky friends. Till now your shine was merely silver. Friends you shall drip rubies...
Nellie Lovett: [singing]
Nellie Lovett: I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd. If you only knew, Mr. Todd - Ooh, Mr. Todd, you're warm in my hand. You've come home. Always had a fondness for you, I did. Never you fear, Mr. Todd, you can move in here, Mr. Todd. Splendors you never have dreamed All your days will be yours. I'm your friend. Don't they shine beautiful? Silver's good enough for me, Mr. T.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] You'll soon drip precious rubies...
Sweeney Todd: [holds up his razor]
Sweeney Todd: [singing] At last, my right arm is complete again!
Johanna: [singing] Green finch and linnet bird, mightingale, blackbird, how is it you sing? how can you jubilate, sitting in cages, never taking wing? Outside the sky waits, beckoning, beckoning, just beyond the bars. How can you remain, staring at the rain, maddened by the stars?
Beggar Woman: [singing] Hey! Hoy! Sailor boy! Want it snugly harbored? Open me gate, but dock it straight, I see it lists to starboard.
[Todd has engaged Pirelli in a shaving contest]
Pirelli: Now, signorini, signori, we mix-a da lather but first-a you gather around, signorini, signori, you looking a man who have had-a da glory to shave-a da Pope! Mr. Sweeney whoever - I beg-a you pardon-'ll probably say it was-a only a cardinal - Nope! It was-a da Pope!
The Beadle: [singing] Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord, have a fragile sensibility. When a girl's emergent, probably it's urgent you defer to her gent- ility, my lord. Personal disorder cannot be ignored, given their genteel proclivities. Meaning no offense, it happens they resents it, ladies in their sensit - ivities, my lord.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] There's a hole in the world like a great black pit/ and it's filled with people who are filled with shit/ and the vermin of the world inhabit it- but not for long! They all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why: because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two. There's the one staying put in his proper place and the one with his foot in the other one's face- Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, look at you! No, we all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why: Because the lives of the wicked should be- Made brief! For the rest of us, death will be a relief- We all deserve to die!
Sweeney Todd: Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him.
Nellie Lovett: Well, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose there's any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.
Nellie Lovett: [pause, as an idea strikes her]
Nellie Lovett: [singing] But... You know me. Sometimes ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking... Seems a downright shame...
Sweeney Todd: Shame?
Nellie Lovett: Seems an awful waste... Such a nice plump frame wot's-his-name has... had... Has... Nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift - Debts to be erased - Think of it as thrift, as a gift... If you get my drift...
[Todd stares blankly]
Nellie Lovett: No? Seems an awful waste. I mean, with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, IF you get it...
Sweeney Todd: [Getting the idea] Ha!
Nellie Lovett: Good, you got it.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] For what's the sound of the world out there?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Those crunching noises pervading the air?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] It's man devouring man, my dear,
Todd, Mrs. Lovett: [singing] And who are we to deny it in here?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] What is that?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] It's priest. Have a little priest.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Is it really good?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Awful lot of fat.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Only where it sat.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Haven't you got... poet, or something like that?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] No, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased... try the priest!
Nellie Lovett: Now then, this might be a bit stringy, but then of course it's a fiddle player!
Sweeney Todd: No, no. This isn't fiddle player- it's PICCOLO player.
Nellie Lovett: How can you tell?
Sweeney Todd: It's PIPING hot.
Nellie Lovett: Then BLOW on it first!
Nellie Lovett: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about Rear Admiral?
Sweeney Todd: No, no. It's too salty. I prefer... General.
Nellie Lovett: With or without 'is privates? "With," is extra!
Tobias Ragg: [singing] No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] I know what Toby deserves...
Tobias Ragg: [singing] Others can desert you... not to worry, whistle I'll be there.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Here, have a nice bon-bon...
Tobias Ragg: [singing] Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, but in time... nothin' can harm you... not while I'm around.
Company.: [singing] City on fire! Rats in the streets and the lunatics yelling at the moon! It's the end of the world - Yes! City on fire! Hunchbacks kissing! Stirrings in the graves and the screaming of giant winds! Watch out! Look! Crawling on the chimneys, great black crows screeching at the city on fire! City on fire! City on fire!
Tobias Ragg: [Tobias has been driven mad]
Tobias Ragg: [singing] Pat-a-cake... pat-a-cake, baker man... bake me a cake... no, no... bake me a pie to delight my eye, and I will sigh if the crust be high...
[sees Todd, sobbing over the Beggar woman's body]
Tobias Ragg: Mr. Todd... it's the old woman. You've harmed her too, haven't you? You shouldn't, you know... you shouldn't harm nobody...
[sees Todd's razor blade and picks it up]
Tobias Ragg: Razor... razor... cut-cut-cut Cadougan, watch me grind my corn... pat him and prick him and mark him with a 'B... ' and put him in the oven... for baby and me...
[he cuts Todd's throat]
Women: [singing] Sweeney wishes the world away, Sweeney's weeping for yesterday, hugging the blade, waiting the years, hearing the music that nobody hears. Sweeney waits in the parlor hall, Sweeney leans on the office wall.
Men: [singing] No one can help! Nothing can hide you! Isn't that Sweeney there beside you?
All: [singing] Sweeney wishes the world away, Sweeney's weeping, yes Sweeney's weeping for yesterday, is Sweeney, there he is! It's Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeny! Sweeny...
All: [they point all around the theatre]
All: [singing] There! There! There! There! There! There! There! THERE!
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Company: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] He served a dark and a hungry god...
Company: [singing] He served a dark and a hungry god...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] To seek revenge may lead to Hell...
Nellie Lovett: [singing] But everyone does it, and seldom as well as Sweeney...
Company: [singing] As Sweeney Todd...
All: [singing] The demon barber of Fleet... Street...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Have charity towards the world, my pet.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Yes, yes, I know, my love.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] We'll take the customers that we can get.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] High-born and and low, my love.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] We'll not discriminate great from small. No, we'll serve anyone...
- meaning anyone, and to anyone, at all!
Nellie Lovett: [singing "By the Sea"] All alone in our nest we could share our kippers / With the odd paying guest from the weekend trippers / With a nice sunny suite for the guests to rest in / Now and then, you could do a guest in / By the seeeeeeea...
Sweeney Todd: [during a sit-down in the parlor] There must be a way to the judge.
Nellie Lovett: Bloody ol' judge, always harpin' on the bloody ol' judge. 'ere we've got a nice respectable business goin'!
Nellie Lovett: Lawyer's rather nice.
Sweeney Todd: It is for a price.
Nellie Lovett: Order something else, though, to follow since no one should swallow it twice.
Sweeney Todd: Anything that's lean...
Nellie Lovett: Well, then, if you're British and loyal, you might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway, it's clean. Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Sweeney Todd: Is that squire on the fire?
Nellie Lovett: Mercy, no sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer!
Sweeney Todd: It looks thicker, more like vicar.
Nellie Lovett: No, it has to be grocer - it's green!
Nellie Lovett: It's fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun - that's a politician so oily it's served with a doily, not one.
Sweeney Todd: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Nellie Lovett: You got any money? Listen to me! You got any money?
Sweeney Todd: No money.
Nellie Lovett: Then how you going to live even?
Sweeney Todd: I'll live. If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I'll live - and I'll have them!
Sweeney Todd: All right! You, sir! How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave! I will have vengeance - I will have salvation! Who sir? You sir? No one in the chair, come on! Come on! Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders. Who sir? Anybody? Gentlemen, now don't be shy! Not one man, no! Nor ten men, nor a HUNDRED can assuage me! I will have YOU!