Kirk: Physician, heal thyself!
McCoy: [Lying on the floor, propping himself up on one elbow] Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?
Kirk: I'm not a drama critic!
[Terrell disobeys Khan's order to kill Kirk, who taunts Khan over the communicator]
Kirk: Khan, you bloodsucker. You're going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?
Khan: Kirk? You're still alive, my old friend?
Kirk: Still, "old friend!" You've managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target!
Khan: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Admiral.
[beams the Genesis device away]
Kirk: Khan... Khan, you've got Genesis, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Khan. You're going to have to come down here. You're going to have to come down here!
Khan: I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet... buried alive! Buried alive...!
Joachim: They're still running with shields down.
Khan: Of course! We are one big, happy fleet! Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?
Khan: It is very cold in space!
Kirk: We are assembled here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. And yet it should be noted that in the midst of our sorrow, this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human.
Joachim: We're all with you, sir. But, consider this. We are free. We have a ship, and the means to go where we will. We have escaped permanent exile on Ceti Alpha V. You have defeated the plans of Admiral Kirk. You do not need to defeat him again.
Khan: [paraphrase from Melville's Moby Dick] He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!
Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question?
Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant?
Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir.
Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?
Saavik: On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.
McCoy: Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.
Kirk: I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.
David Marcus: He cheated.
Kirk: I changed the conditions of the test; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.
Saavik: Then you never faced that situation... faced death.
Kirk: I don't believe in the no-win scenario.
Spock: [closing monologue] Space: the final frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
McCoy: [Kirk runs in to the engine room and sees Spock inside the reactor compartment. He rushes over but McCoy and Scotty hold him back] No! You'll flood the whole compartment!
Kirk: He'll die!
Scotty: Sir! He's dead already.
McCoy: It's too late.
[They let go and Kirk walks to the glass and pushes the intercom button]
[Spock slowly walks over to the glass and pushes the intercom]
Spock: The ship... out of danger?
Spock: Do not grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many, outweigh...
Kirk: The needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?
[Spock sits down]
Spock: I have been, and always shall be, your friend.
[he places a Vulcan salute on the glass]
Spock: Live long and prosper.
Kirk: [hailing Khan] This is Admiral Kirk. We tried it once your way, Khan, are you game for a rematch? Khan, I'm laughing at the "superior intellect."
Khan: Full impulse power!
Joachim: No, sir! You have Genesis! You can have whatever...
Khan: [grabs Joachim in anger] FULL POWER! DAMN YOU!
Spock: The Kobayashi Maru scenario frequently wreaks havoc on students and equipment. As I recall you took the test three times yourself. Your final solution was, shall we say, unique?
Kirk: It had the virtue of never having been tried.
Saavik: [speaking to Spock in Vulcan] He's never what I expect, sir.
Spock: What surprises you, Lieutenant?
Saavik: He's so - human.
Spock: Nobody's perfect, Saavik.
Saavik: You lied!
Spock: I exaggerated.
Kirk: Hours instead of days! Now we have minutes instead of hours!
Dr. McCoy: You're hiding... hiding behind rules and regulations.
Kirk: Who am I hiding from?
Dr. McCoy: From yourself, Admiral.
Kirk: Don't mince words, Bones. What do you really think?
Dr. McCoy: Jim, I'm your doctor and I'm also your friend. Get back your command! Get it back before you turn into part of this collection, before you really do grow old.
Saavik: Captain's log: Stardate 8130.3. Starship Enterprise on training mission to Gamma Hydra, section 14, coordinates 22-87-4. Approaching Neutral Zone; all systems normal and functioning.
Sulu: Leaving section 14 for section 15.
Saavik: Standby. Project parabolic course to avoid entering Neutral Zone.
Sulu: Aye, captain.
Khan: [quoting from Melville's Moby Dick] To the last, I will grapple with thee... from Hell's heart, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
Kirk: I suppose you're about to remind me that logic alone dictates your actions?
Spock: I would not remind you of that which you know so well.
[Discussing the effects of the Genesis torpedo]
McCoy: Dear Lord. You think we're intelligent enough to... suppose... what if this thing were used where life already exists?
Spock: It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix.
McCoy: Its "new matrix"? Do you have any idea what you're saying?
Spock: I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.
McCoy: Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time! According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now, watch out! Here comes Genesis! We'll do it for you in six minutes!
Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. You must learn to govern your passions; they will be your undoing. Logic suggests...
McCoy: Logic? My God, the man's talking about logic; we're talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman...
David Marcus: Lieutenant Saavik was right: You never have faced death.
Kirk: No. Not like this. I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.
David Marcus: You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.
Kirk: Just words.
David Marcus: But good words. That's where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them. I was wrong about you. And I'm sorry.
Kirk: Is that what you came here to say?
David Marcus: Mainly. And also that I'm proud - very proud - to be your son.
[Kirk unwraps Bones' birthday present]
Kirk: Romulan Ale. Why, Bones, you know this is illegal.
McCoy: I only use it for medicinal purposes.
[after being surrounded by Klingons in a starship simulator]
Saavik: Any suggestions, Admiral?
Kirk: Prayer, Mr. Saavik. The Klingons don't take prisoners.
McCoy: Admiral, wouldn't it be easier to put an experienced crew back on the ship?
Kirk: Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, Doctor.
Commander Nyota Uhura: Now what is that supposed to mean?
David Marcus: Scientists have always been pawns of the military.
Carol Marcus: Please tell me what you're feeling.
Kirk: There's a man out there I haven't seen in fifteen years who's trying to kill me. You show me a son that'd be happy to help. My son... my life that could have been... and wasn't. How do I feel? Old... worn out.
Carol Marcus: Let me show you something that will make you feel young as when the world was new.
[On whether Kirk should assume command from Spock]
Spock: If I may be so bold, it was a mistake for you to accept promotion. Commanding a starship is your first, best destiny; anything else is a waste of material.
Kirk: I would not presume to debate you.
Spock: That is wise. Were I to invoke logic, however, logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
Kirk: Or the one.
Spock: You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.
Khan: [holds the dying Joachim] Joachim?
Joachim: Yours... is... superior...
Khan: I shall avenge you.
[Kirk and McCoy are beaming down to Regula One]
Spock: Jim, be careful.
McCoy: *We* will!
[Kirk remotely commands Reliant's shields to drop]
Joachim: Our shields are dropping.
Khan: Then raise them!
Joachim: [pounds fists on console] I can't!
Khan: The override. Where's the override?
[after allowing the simulated Enterprise to be destroyed]
Saavik: Permission to speak freely, sir?
Saavik: I do not believe this was a fair test of my command abilities.
Kirk: And why not?
Saavik: Because... there was no way to win.
Kirk: A no-win situation is a possibility every commander may face. Has that never occurred to you?
Saavik: No, sir, it has not.
Kirk: And how we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn't you say?
Saavik: As I indicated, Admiral, that thought had not occurred to me.
Kirk: Well, now you have something new to think about. Carry on.
Spock: He is intelligent, but not experienced. His pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking.
Kirk: Scotty, I need warp speed in three minutes or we're all dead!
McCoy: Damn it Jim, what the hell is the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?
McCoy: Where are we going?
Kirk: Where they went.
McCoy: Suppose they went *nowhere*?
Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.
Khan: Captain, Captain, Captain... save your strength. These people have sworn to live and die at my command two hundred years before you were born. Do you mean he never told you the tale? To amuse your Captain, no? Never told you how the Enterprise picked up the Botany Bay, lost in space from the year 1996 with myself and the ship's company in cryogenic freeze?
Capt. Terrell: I never even met Admiral Kirk.
Khan: 'Admiral?' 'Admiral!' 'Admiral'... Never told you how 'Admiral' Kirk sent seventy of us into exile in this barren sandheap with only the contents of these cargo bays to sustain us?
Chekov: You lie! On Ceti Alpha Five there was life! A fair chance...
Khan: [shouts] THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIVE! Ceti Alpha Six exploded six months after we were left here. The shock shifted the orbit of this planet and everything was laid waste. 'Admiral' Kirk never bothered to check on our progress. It was only the fact of my genetically-engineered intellect that allowed us to survive. On Earth, two hundred years ago, I was a prince with power over millions...
[Khan, about to put Ceti Eels in Terrell and Chekov's ears]
Khan: You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death.
Chekov: Khan, listen to me...
Khan: These are pets, of course. Not quite domesticated.
[Terrell and Chekov have beamed down into a sandstorm]
Capt. Terrell: Chekov, are you *sure* these are the correct coordinates?
Chekov: Captain, this is the garden spot of Ceti Alpha Six!
David Marcus: Every time we have dealings with Starfleet, I get nervous.
David Marcus: Remember that overgrown Boy Scout you used to hang around with? That's exactly the kind of guy...
Carol Marcus: Listen, kiddo, Jim Kirk was *many* things, but he was *never* a Boy Scout!
David Marcus: Don't have kittens, Genesis is going to work. You'll be remembered in one breath with Newton, Einstein, Surak...
Carol Marcus: Huh! No respect from my offspring.
[Khan discovers the Enterprise and realizes it isn't as badly damaged as he thought]
Khan: There she is! There she is! Ah... not so wounded as we were led to believe. So much the better!
Kirk: Stand by to receive our transmission.
Kirk: Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target and await my command.
Sulu: [sotto voice] Phasers locked.
Saavik: Humor. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical.
Kirk: We learn by doing.
McCoy: He's not really dead. As long as we remember him.
Kirk: It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place that I go to than I have ever known.
Carol Marcus: Is that a poem?
Kirk: No. Something Spock was trying to tell me. On my birthday.
McCoy: You okay, Jim? How do you feel?
Kirk: Young. I feel young.
Captain Terrell: Sir, I demand...
Khan: You are in a position to demand *nothing*. I, on the other hand, am in a position to *grant* nothing.
Chekov: [to Khan] Captain Kirk was your host. You repaid his hospitality by trying to steal his ship and murder him!
David Marcus: Reliant is supposed to be at *our* disposal, not vice-versa.
[Saavik has just left the turbolift]
Dr. McCoy: Did she change her hairstyle?
Kirk: I hadn't noticed.
Dr. McCoy: Wonderful stuff, that Romulan Ale.
[Kirk has been informed of an incoming transmission from Dr. Carol Marcus]
Dr. McCoy: It never rains but it pours.
Kirk: As a doctor, you of all people should be aware of the dangers of reopening old wounds.
[Chekov has noticed an energy flux reading on the scanner, prompting Terrell to contact Dr. Carol Marcus]
Captain Clark Terrell: Maybe it's something we can transplant, uhm?
Cmdr. Pavel Chekov: You *know* what she'll say.
Scotty: The energizer's bypassed like a Christmas tree, so don't give me too many bumps.
Spock: You proceed from a false assumption. I am a Vulcan. I have no ego to bruise.
Crewman: Sir! The mains are back on line!
Kirk: Bless you Scotty! Go, Sulu!
Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise.
Spock: Spock here.
Kirk: Captain Spock, damage report.
Spock: Admiral, if we go "by the book". like Lieutenant Saavik, hours could seem like days.
Kirk: I read you captain. Let's have it.
Spock: The situation is grave, Admiral. We won't have main power for six "days". Auxiliary power has temporarily failed. Restoration may be possible, in two "days". By the book, Admiral.
Kirk: Meaning you can't even beam us back?
Spock: Not at present.
Kirk: Captain Spock, if you don't hear from us within one hour, your orders are to restore what power you can, take the Enterprise to the nearest star base, and alert Starfleet Command as soon as you're out of jamming range.
Commander Nyota Uhura: Sir, we won't leave you behind!
Kirk: Uhura, if you don't hear from us, there won't be anybody behind. Kirk out.
Joachim: [Enterprise is running with shields down] They still haven't raised their shields.
Khan: Raise ours.
[Joachim raises shields]
Spock: Their shields are going up.
Khan: Lock phasers on target.
Joachim: [looks at targeting computer] Locking phasers on target.
Spock: They're locking phasers.
Kirk: Raise shields!
[Joachim fires phasers]
Preston: I believe you'll find everything ship-shape, Admiral.
Kirk: Oh, do you? Do you have any idea, Midshipman Preston, how many times I have had to listen to Mr. Scott on the comm, telling me his trouble? Do you have any idea of the ribbing I've had to endure in the officers' mess... to the effect that the Enterprise is a flying death trap?
Preston: Oh, no sir! Wha... this is the finest engine room in the whole Starfleet! If the Admiral can't see the facts for himself, then, with all due respect, he's as blind as a Tiberian bat!
Kirk: Midshipman, you're a tiger.
Scotty: My sister's youngest, Admiral. Crazy to get to space.
Kirk: Every young man's fantasy. Seem to remember it myself.
Chekov: Oh, sir, it was Khan! We picked him up on Ceti Alpha Five... He put... creatures... in our bodies... to control our minds. He made us... say lies... do things. He thought he controlled us, but he did not. The Captain was strong.
Khan: Surely, I have made my meaning plain. I mean to avenge myself upon you, Admiral. I deprived your ship of power, and when I swing around, I mean to deprive you of your life.
[David attacks Kirk]
Kirk: Where's Dr. Marcus?
David Marcus: I'M Dr. Marcus!
Carol Marcus: Jim!
McCoy: [handing Kirk a birthday gift, after Kirk hands him the Romulan ale] Now you open this one.
Kirk: [taking gift] I'm almost afraid to. What is it, Klingon aphrodisiacs?
McCoy: No. More antiques for your collection.
Kirk: [reading] "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." - Message, Spock?
Spock: None that I'm conscious of. Except of course; happy birthday! -Surely the best of times.
McCoy: [grabbing Spock's arm] You're not going in there!
Spock: Perhaps you're right. What is Mr. Scott's condition?
McCoy: [turns to Scotty] Well I don't think that he...
[Spock use the vulcan nerve pinch on McCoy]
Spock: I'm sorry, Doctor, I have no time to explain this logically.
[sits McCoy down and performs mind meld]
Khan: You still remember, Admiral. I cannot help but be touched. I, of course, remember you.
Kirk: Khan, how do I know you'll keep your word?
Khan: Oh, I've given you no word to keep, Admiral. In my judgment, you simply have no alternative.
Saavik: Three minutes, thirty seconds.
Kirk: Distance from Reliant?
Chekov: 4000 kilometers.
Sulu: We're not going to make it, are we?
[Kirk turns to look at David, who slowly shakes his head]
Kirk: I hate inspections.
Sulu: I'm delighted. Any chance to go aboard the Enterprise.
Kirk: [Kirk is reacting - badly - to Spock ordering Saavik to take the Enterprise out of spacedock, something she has never done before]
McCoy: Do you want a tranquilizer?
Kirk: [shakes head quickly]
Kirk: Engine room. Well done, Scotty!
McCoy: Jim... I think you'd better get down here.
McCoy: Better hurry...
Saavik: Trouble with the nebula, sir. All that static discharge and gas will cloud our visual display. Tactical won't function, and shields will be useless!
Spock: Sauce for the goose, Mr Saavik - the odds will be even!
Kirk: [to McCoy, who is still lying where he fell during Saavik's simulation] Physician, heal thyself.
McCoy: Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?
Kirk: I'm not a drama critic!
McCoy: [reference to the turbolift] Who's been holding up the damn elevator?
Joachim: [Enterprise has inflicted damage on Reliant] Enterprise can wait! She's *not* *going* *anywhere*!