Quotes
[after performing an autopsy on a ripper murder victim]
Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner: He used a blade. Stuck it up her joy trail, and slit her wide open. He could have done a slightly better job if he had more time. But overall, it was a good, efficient butchery.
Share thisChief of Police: Fred, have you flipped out, or are you trying to give me an ulcer? A smart-ass coroner comes out with a little verbal diarrhea, and you immediately go around declaring there's a maniac loose in the city.
Lt. Fred Williams: Yeah, so what do you want me to say? A boy scout's been widdling on girls with his knife?
Share thisThe Ripper: [voice] But you won't understand me, you'll never understand me! You're too stupid! Quack! Quack! Quack!
Share this[overseeing the autopsy on the 'Ripper' Scellenda]
Lt. Fred Williams: So, what's the good news, Barry?
Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner: Well, from the pulmonary result, the cause of death was suffocation. Self-inflicted by the plastic bag thrown over his head.
Lt. Fred Williams: What about the time of death?
Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner: That I have for you exactly. Between four and five AM on Tuesday the 10th, eight days ago.
Lt. Fred Williams: Eight days? Bullshit! That son-of-a-bitch murdered Kitty just four days ago. He couldn't have have been dead for eight days! You're wrong!
Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner: Come on, Barnaby. How long have we known each other? How long have I been a coroner? 16 years! Now, if I say the time of death was eight days ago, then the time of death was eight days ago! Sure, I admit I could be a few hours off, but no more.
Lt. Fred Williams: Jesus Christ...
Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner: Does it really matter?
Lt. Fred Williams: Yeah, it does.
Share this[Rosie, riding a bicycle, accidently brushes past a misogynist owner's red Volkswagen]
Red Volkswagen owner: Hey! Watch where you're going!
Rosie: I'm sorry. I was thinking of Boston.
Red Volkswagen owner: You women are all the same! A menace to society! You women should stay at home where you belong. You've got the brains of a chicken!
Rosie: And you're an asshole! Ciao!
Share thisLt. Fred Williams: Well, if it isn't the big chief person himself.
Chief of Police: Hello, Fred. I need to talk to you and it's kind of hush-hush. Is there anywhere private where we can talk?
Lt. Fred Williams: Sure. How about the church across the street?
Share thisLt. Fred Williams: Would you get me some coffee?
Kitty: Sweetheart! I'm a prositute, not your wife. If you want coffee, make it yourself!
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