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Porky's
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Synopsis for
Porky's (1982) More at IMDbPro »

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The radio-alarm clock starts, and the radio DJ (Don Daynard) says the typical good morning stuff. Edward "Pee Wee" Morris (Dan Monahan) wakes up after an interrupted morning glory, especially because his mother (Ilse Earl) enters without knocking first. He picks up from under his matress his hidden schedule, and goes to Angel High School by car. Ted Jarvis, called Jarvis (Art Hindle) is appaled that Pee Wee has no other option than Wendy (Kaki Hunter) to lose his virginity to. Wendy is considered a kind of loose girl, so she is probably envied by plenty of girls who would like to do as she does but won't dare so. Rumours run rampant. Wendy tells freshman Mindy (Jill Whitlow) to ask Meat (Tony Ganios) why he's got such a nickname. Meat alleges he doesn't know; Mindy wants to see for herself whether it's because he's got a big dick, but his friends dissuade him, because he'll be expelled for good if there is reason for suspension again.

The gang takes eggs to throw them to strongman Tim (Cyril O'Reilly). Coach Beulah Balbricker (Nancy Parsons) terrifies both her junior male colleague coaches and students, and she is very strict about not allowing any sexual pass to her female students. Some students have created glory halls in the girls' locker room to see them naked, having a shower, etc...This time, they have missed the action. A blonde (Cathy Garpershak) wraps herself in a towel and Balbricker turns the lights off.

Mickey (Roger Wilson) goes to Cherry Forever (Susan Clark)'s trailer park home. All the gang goes to visit this girl. All the boys have to get naked and be inspected before the sexual act to prove they are clean. Steve (Rod Ball), Pee Wee, Tommy (Wyatt Knight) and Frank Bell (Jack Mulcahy), stand in line for Cherry to inspect them, and she makes derogatory comments about some of them. Cherry loves for a minute with Billy (Mark Herrier) and Tommy (Wyatt Knight). It's all a prank, while the happy boys are waiting stark naked. Cherry makes sexual noises and moans, while Billy makes pretend he's having sex with her. Tommy is talking to a drunk man, and they will pretend that he is her husband and has macheted Tommy. Tommy leaves full of blood stains, and then the "husband" appears with the machete. All the naked boys run away naked. As soon as they leave the home, they realise it's all a prank, and come back in indignation.

Two cops (Julian Byrd and Bill Fuller) watch one of the runaway boys, Pee Wee, who has not realised that it was all a practical joke because he ran to the main road immediately. The cops take him to the caf where everybody is laughing their asses off. One of the cops tells a motorbike rider not to drink beer while driving.

Pee Wee is even more adamant to lose his virginity. Wendy teases Pee Wee with a trophy, an elephant-sized condom. Balbricker sees them and take the two students away. Honeywell (Kim Cattrall) is a gymnast / cheerleader who loves teasing the two young coaches, Brackett (Boyd Gaines) and Warren (Doug McGrath) mercilessly.

That night, the boys go to a strip joint called Porky's, where a midget (Peter Conrad) is using some women as Santa Claus' reindeer and country music resounds. One of the customers crosses the line with one of the strippers (Pat Lee) and the bouncers (Cash Spadard, Cash Baron and Roger Womack) put him out.

Pee Wee and his friends try to negotiate the price, but for 100 dollars, they can only have three girls for half an hour. Porky (Chuck Mitchell) tells the boys to go to a dark room through a door. All the customers know that there's a prank involved in that. Porky pulls a lever and the five boys fall into the swamp. They enter Porky's mad as hell again. The patrons mock the five boys. Porky has the support of all his customers. There is an attempt for another brawl outside, but the teenagers end up in the swamp again. At that moment, a deputy (Gary Maas) and Sheriff Wallace (Alex Karras) appear with a nightstick. Wallace gives the boys a fine for having broken blinkers - some which he has broken himself with his bat. They have to pay him on the spot, but the Sheriff decides to go easy on them, as the boys are first-time offenders. Wallace tells them to go back to their county and never come back.

A waitress (Joanne Marsic) brings hot-dogs and the five think about taking action. Mickey wants revenge, but the police officer tells him not to mess with Porky, because he's just a dangerous man who will stop kidding around and become serious if they mess with him. The coaches have to stop students from getting too rough while playing up, and Cavanaugh (Wayne Maunder) gets suspended because of dirty play. Brian Schwartz (Scott Colomby) and Jimmy fight in the grass. When questioned how he learned to fight like that, Brian says that you have to fend for yourself when you are a Jewish boy, so that he learned how to box when he was younger. Pee Wee tries to tell Brian that Billy is a troubled young person.

There is a telephone prank. Pee Wee asks the waitress whether Michael Hunt is around, so she ends up saying through the loudspeaker system if anybody has seen "My Cunt". Everybody cracks up. Pee Wee is there to get the laughter of everybody, even Wendy, who was fooled by him.

Billy gets drunk and insults the cops. Their friends try to hide the fact that he's drunk, pretending that he's diabetic. One of them also tells the cops that he's been dumped by his girlfriend, and that he got drunk to forget. That makes the cops leave away.

Mickey appears with blood in his face - he's tried to take his own back onto Porky. He drives away so as not to be taken to hospital. His friends are worried they have to babysit him. Cavanaugh tells one of the coaches about the fight. Miss Balbricker tells Miss Honeywell not to mess with boys, but she refuses to listen, and insults the female coach. She threatens to have Honeywell thrown out because of gross misconduct. Honeywell and the coach hide in the boys' locker room, and she gets turned on. She jumps on top of him. Honeywell and the youngest of the coaches fuck in the boys' locker room. She shouts as if she were an ambulance, and everybody laughs about it, except for Balbricker. The coach tries to calm her down but it's too late, as all the school knows about it - she screams again, this time resounding as a police car. The coach puts a dirty sock onto Honeywell's mouth so that he can finish off. The other young coach cracks up. The young coach appears in the gym as though nothing had really happened, but the senior coach tells him not to get too attached to Angel High School.

The boys go back to look at the naked girls in the girls' locker room behind the pipes, through the peepholes. Through his hole, the only thing that Pee Wee can see is Nola, a fat girl. The rest tell Pee Wee to keep quiet. Pee Wee tries to change sides, but nobody would change their place. He can't resist his frustration and he shouts "Goddamit, will you move it, you fat ass?", betraying their position. All the girls get restless. They wrap themselves in blankets. They discover the boys and talk to them, teasing them. Some of the girls stay behind and tell them to get closer. Tommy puts his tongue through the hole, and a girl puts soap onto it. He ups the bet and puts his dick through the hole, so the girls back up a little bit. Suddenly, Miss Balbricker appears because of some other girls, but Tommy thinks that it's a sexy girl. Miss Balbricker picks Tommy by the penis and pulls.

Mr. Carter (Eric Christmas), the high school headmaster, is appalled by Tommy's behaviour. While the men can't stop cracking up, Balbricker leaves in outrage. He wanted Carter to hold a naked police line-up situation so that she could identify the dick of the offending student - Mr. Cavanaugh appears once again to embarrass his son and hit him, but this time, he doesn't back down with the support of his friends.

At a prom dance, Mickey appears with a bloodied face again. It was Porky. The plan to pull their revenge on Porky begins. They allure Porky and his men to the small bridge which they had rigged. When Porky and his men step on it, they fall to the disgusting swamp. The boys blow up the whole place after having demolished much of it with a towing truck. When the sheriff appears, the boys run away and blow the bridges up. The sheriff's car gets stuck in a falling bridge which wasn't completely blown up because the dynamite device didn't work properly. Porky's car goes after the boys' car. The boys stop when they arrive at the high school band meeting point. At that moment, Porky and the sheriff are out of line. Porky tries to convince the local police officers to produce the offending boys to him, but that will be exactly the same as admitting that minors - the boys were 16 and 17 - were in a non-allowed place, but the sheriff is too dumb to shut up. Ted does to Porky's the same that Porky did to Tommy's car the first time. He damages the radiator, smashes a light, blows a tyre, shoots the boot. Porky puts his hand in his brother's mouth until he promises not to visit Ted's county again. They have to push their car back to their county.

All the boys rejoice and they give Brian a hero welcome - he had to come back to his county by the river. Pee Wee is the only unhappy one, because he's still a virgin. One of the gang calls out for Wendy.

Wendy and Pee Wee go away together to the school bus, where Pee Wee asks for a rubber to shag Wendy. He tells everybody to shut up. He has to ask for a second one, because the first one was too big. Beulah Balbricker charges against Tommy, because she wants the see the mole in Tommy's penis. Ted takes Balbricker away. Pee Wee shouts like Tarzan of the Apes to celebrate that he's not a virgin anymore. Wendy takes him inside for more.

One of the boys looks at the camera and says "Jeez", while shrugging his shoulders.
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