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Paul Dean has created a deadly parasite that is now attached to his stomach. He and his female companion, Patricia Welles, must find away to destroy it while also trying to avoid Ricus and his rednecks and an evil government agent named Merchant. Written by
Josh Pasnak <email@example.com>
Let's take a moment for total and complete honesty: there is essentially no reason for you to go through the same pain that I have just done. Avoid 'Parasite' like the plague it is and lead a much happier life. Friends, I watch these films to protect you. They've taken their toll and done irreparable damage to my psyche. Make my sacrifice worthwhile and don't follow in my footsteps. If there were -- and this is a very big if -- any reason to watch 'Parasite' I will suggest three. They are as follows:
1. This is one Demi Moore's first films. Die hards might want to watch her in this although I hope they possess better judgement.
2. Fans of gore might find it interesting since the pay-offs are frequent -- albeit extremely well telegraphed -- and gruesome.
3. 3-D made a return to theatres briefly in the eighties and fans of the sub-genre might want to check it out.
Unfortunately my three reasons can be quickly countered. Moore isn't bad but she's still working on her craft here. I also suspect that this is one of those films where a fresh young actor concedes that, yes, the film is total garbage but hey, I'm in the pictures ma! Top of the World! Demi was just working on her reel and building some footage to use as audition material for superior projects.
3-D is an interesting sub-genre but a movie that employs the technique suffers damage at the same time. Very rarely has it been done well (Hitchcock's 'Dial M for Murder) and very often it has been done poorly. The main weakness is that it tends to telegraph when a 3-D scene is about to happen. If things are starting to go slo-mo, break out the glasses. In the 50's it was quaint; in the 80's just corny and bad. 'Parasite' is one of those films in a distinct class. It managed to rekindle and destroy the 3-D gimmick in the painful stretch of 84 minutes.
Which brings me to the part of my review I like to call 'product endorsement': I was able to last through this movie by using a DVD player that has a countdown clock feature. There was comfort to be had in knowing that I only had to tough it through another *shudder* forty-three minutes.
The acting in 'Parasite' is about what you would expect from Z-Grade garbage like this. Actually, that's not entirely fair and I should give credit where it is due. The cast is mostly game for the film and put up a brave performance in spite of ludicrous script and story elements. Unfortunately for us this film is a horrendous and cheesy 'Alien' rip-off. Or 'Alien' meets 'Mad Max' rip-off since they throw in the post-apocalyptic wasteland thing. and the biker gang. And the goofy costumes.
Many movies are so bad they are funny. This is not. It's just plain bad.
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