Bill:
I'm an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can't even fight them off!
Bill:
So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had they idea for them first?
Bill:
OK, here's an example. Watch out, stand back.
[
speaks into tape recorder]
Bill:
This is Bill. Idea to eliminate garbage: edible paper. You see, you eat it, it's gone. Eat it, it's out of there!
Bill:
What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, WITH the tunafish? Or... hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.
[
speaks into tape recorder]
Bill:
Call Starkist!
Bill:
You tellin' me to shut up?
Chuck:
I'm telling you to shut up! I will tell your recorder so that you don't forget!
[
Chuck picks up tape recorder and turns it on]
Chuck:
Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!
Bill:
We're all adults here - we can talk about this openly...
[
writing on chalkboard]
Bill:
PROSTITUTION! But what does that mean really? Sometimes it helps to understand a word if you break it down, so let's do that now shall we? Pros... it doesn't mean anything, you can forget about that... Tit, I think we all know what that means, Tu, two tit and TION of course, from the Latin to shun... to say uh-uh no thank you anyway I don't want it, to push away... it doesn't even belong in this word really.
Leonard:
Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.
Bill Blazejowski:
I wash my hands and my feet of you!
Belinda Keaton:
Bill, Bill, are you all right? Did you break anything, Bill?
Bill Blazejowski:
I caught an updraft.
Chuck Lumley:
Are you ok?
Bill:
Yeah, I'm all right, don't worry, I'm all right, fortunately the ground broke my fall.
Chuck Lumley:
As we sit here and idly chat, there are woman, female human beings, rolling around in strange beds with strange men, and we are making money from that.
Bill Blazejowski:
Is this a great country, or what?
Bill Blazejowski:
What's our job? We like drive around and pickup stiffs, or what? Is that what we are suppose to do?
Bill Blazejowski:
[
picking up photo from desk] Hey Chuck? Who is this? Your wife?
Chuck Lumley:
Fiancée.
Bill Blazejowski:
Nice frame!
Bill:
LOVE BROKERS!
Bill:
[
Chuck is spitting on himself in the jail cell] Chuck, come on - it looks bad in front of the other guys!
Chuck Lumley:
So what am I running for, cell president?
Bill:
No!... they have that?
Chuck Lumley:
[
reads the forms that Lenoard, the day shift guy left] Name of the disceased... something polish?
Bill:
Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I'm an idea man, Chuck. I got ideas coming at me all day... I couldn't even fight 'em off if I wanted. Wait a second... hold the phone! Hold the phone!
[
speaking into tape recorder]
Bill:
Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it's gone! You eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!
Chuck:
I used to be an investment counselor.
Bill:
Yeah?
[
pause]
Bill:
What's that?
Chuck:
It's like a stockbroker.
Bill:
So what're you doing babysitting stiffs? What were you... drinker? Big drinker?
Chuck:
No!
Bill:
Doper! Toothead! Nose candy! Coke!
Chuck:
[
elevator door opens; Chuck sees Belinda lying on the elevator floor] Oh my God. Did you fall down? Did somebody hit you?
Belinda Keaton:
Other way round. Somebody hit me and then I fell down.
Belinda Keaton:
Franklin once told me that he wanted to be buried in his car.
Chuck Lumley:
We don't do that.
Belinda Keaton:
Oh.
Chuck Lumley:
You'll probably have to call the funeral home or the department of motor vehicles.
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