The Last American Virgin
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Last American Virgin is a comedy-drama remake of a 1978 Israeli movie titled 'Eskimo Limon' ('Lemon Popsicle), and it revolves around three American high school students, the protagonist Gary (Lawrence Monoson), a typical highschooler and all around nice guy who works delivering pizzas as his after-school job. Gary's two best friends are Rick (Steve Antin), a slick ladies man, and David (Joe Rubbo), the fat-boy comic relief.

Most of the plot involves their numerous failed attempts to have sex and lose their virginity. During one particular night, the three guys pick up three girls at their local diner hangout with the promise of cocaine (instead they use Sweet'n Low) and take them to Gary's house. Gary gets stuck with the homely and overweight Millie, a friend of the other two more attractive girls. But their party gets interupted when Gary's parents return and chaos breaks out. David, gets left behind and accidently walks into Gary's mother whom he mistakes for one of the girls and gets thrown out weaing only his underwear.

One day, Gary happens to be delivering pizza to Carmela (Louisa Moritz), a sexy Mexican woman whose sailor boyfriend is never home, and she hints to him she wants more than just pizza. Being too afraid to follow on it, Gary leaves and convinces his friends to go along with him. They drop by her home the next evening using the pretext they were nearby on a pizza delivery and decided to bring her over some extra pizzas. She lets them in, puts on music and performs a sexy dance routine, to the delight of the boys. She promptly has sex with Rick and David, but her boyfriend Paco returns home just as Gary is about to have his turn, prompting them to flee.

Later, a love triangle develops between Gary, Rick and Karen (Diane Franklin), a new student to their school whom becomes smitten with the bad boy Rick, but has some feelings for the nice guy Gary who follows her around from time to time.

Eventually, Rick and Karen have sex one night under the bleachers at the playing field and as a result, Karen gets pregnant and Rick leaves her. Gary decides to help Karen pay for her abortion by selling most of his possessions and borrowing money from his boss. After the abortion, Gary and Karen spend the remainder of the weekend alone together in Gary's grandmother's summer house so she can recover. They seem to hit it off and Karen invites Gary to her 18th birthday party at her house the following week. Gary scrapes up a few more dollars and buys Karen a gold locket for her birthday.

However, when Gary arrives at the party, his dreams of a lasting romance with Karen are shattered when he sees Karen making out with Rick in the kitchen. Despite of what the scuzbucket Rick had put Karen through, she apparently decided to take him back to start all over. Gary finally realizes that nice guys always do finish last in this world. Taking Karen's gift with him, a distraught Gary leaves the party and drives home, emtionally broken and defeated.

The End.

(Hey, not all teen comedies have to have a happy ending after all.)


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