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Quotes

Will Sly: [Interrupts Tom Sullivan singing in the shower] Hey, Beverly Sills, you mind if I smoke?

Tom Sullivan: In the shower?

Will Sly: Oh, I always smoke in the shower. I find it cuts down the risk of serious fire by about half.

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[Will and Tom are a convertible, and it's raining]

Will Sly: I figured for ten weeks of sun, surf, and sex, we wouldn't need a top.

Tom Sullivan: Well, if the surf and the sex are as good as the sun, we're in big trouble.

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Policeman: [incredulously] Your friend is blind?

Will Sly: More or less, yeah.

Policeman: Then why the hell is he driving?

Will Sly: 'Cause he's the only one who's sober!

[Tom does a backflip over the car]

Will Sly: See?

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Will Sly: God, his kind can really sing, huh?

[while Tom is performing]

Bert: Yeah, but they make lousy astronomers.

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Will Sly: [walks into Tom's room, where the light is off] Sullivan, you pervert, it's pitch black in here.

[he switches on the light]

Tom Sullivan: I got news for you, Sly. It's still pitch black in here.

Will Sly: It's not nice to make fun of sighted people. I'm liable to go through your closet and mix all your solids and checks, and then where would you be? You'd be a walking billboard for bad taste, that's where you'd be!

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Will Sly: Time to think about getting a new guide dog. I'm off tomorrow.

Tom Sullivan: It's tomorrow already? Jesus, what happened? We were...

Will Sly: They should make calendars in Braille. They really should.

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Molly: [holding the phone] It's the IRS. They'd like to know when they can expect payment.

Porky Sullivan: When the bloody pope gets a hickey!

Molly: [into the phone] When the bloody pope gets a hickey, sir... Well, I'm tell him you said so!

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Will Sly: He was saving his money to buy a Braille Bible, but instead, he insisted on buying you these!

[presents a handful of roses]

Mrs. Buxton: [stunned] Oh! The O'Brien Red! But these are so expensive! You shouldn't have. I have a precious few of these in me own rose garden, ya kno -

[realizes that he took the roses from her garden]

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Tom Sullivan: [while fondling two women in the bar where he sings] You wanna be in a band? I'll design the costumes!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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