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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) Poster

Quotes

E.T.: E.T. phone home.

Michael: Maybe it was an iguana.

Elliot: It was *no* iguana.

Michael: Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?

Gertie: Alligators in the sewers.

Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened...

Elliot: I couldn't have imagined it!

Michael: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.

Gertie: A deformed kid.

Michael: [mockingly] Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.

Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis-breath!

Mary: [laughs in shock] *Elliot!* Sit down.

[last lines]

E.T.: Come...

Elliot: [solemnly] Stay...

E.T.: [puts his finger to his glowing heart] Ouch.

Elliot: [mimics the same action, tearfully] Ouch.

E.T.: [E.T. and Elliot embrace each other, then E.T. puts his glowing finger to Elliot's forehead] I'll... be... right... here.

Elliot: [tearfully] ... bye.

Elliot: He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship.

Greg: Well, can't he just beam up?

Elliot: This is *reality*, Greg.

Michael: Did you explain school to him?

Elliot: How do you explain school to higher intelligence?

Michael: Maybe he's not that smart. Maybe he's like a worker bee who only knows how to push buttons or something.

Elliot: [knowingly] He is too smart.

Michael: Okay, I just hope we don't wake up on Mars or something surrounded by millions of little squashy guys.

Elliot: You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.

Michael: Where's the playground?

Elliot: It's near the preschool!

Michael: Where's that?

Elliot: I don't know streets! Mom always drives me!

Michael: Son of a bitch.

Elliott: I'm keeping him.

E.T.: [saying good-bye] Beeeeeee... gooood.

Gertie: [tearfully] Yes.

Tyler: [sarcastically] Hey, Elliot, where's your goblin?

Michael: Shut up.

Steve: Did he come back?

Pretty Young Girl: Hi, Elliot.

Greg: Well, did he?

Elliot: Yeah, he came back, but he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.

Steve: Ooh, as in extra-terrestrial!

Tyler: Where is he from, Uranus? Get it? Your anus?

Greg: He doesn't get it, Ty.

Tyler: Get it, your anus?

Greg: He doesn't get it.

Elliot: You're so immature!

Greg: And you're such a cintus suprimus!

Elliot: Zero charisma!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliot: Zero charisma!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliot: Shut up, Greg!

Greg: Cintus suprimus!

Elliot: [yells as he rides off on his bike] Zero charisma!

Greg: You wimp!

Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it, just call me and we'll have somebody come and take it away.

Gertie: Like the dogcatcher?

Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.

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Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.

Elliot: A bald monkey?

Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.

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Keys: Elliot, that machine, what does it do?

Elliot: [in a sickly voice] The communicator? Is it still working?

Keys: It's doing *something*. What?

Elliot: I really shouldn't tell. He came to me, he came to me.

Keys: Elliot, he came to me too. I've been wishing for this since I was 10 years old, I don't want him to die. What can we do that we're not already doing?

Elliot: He needs to go home; he's calling his people. And I don't know where they are, but he needs to go home.

Keys: Elliot, I don't think he was left here intentionally, but his being here is a miracle, Elliot. It's a miracle and you did the best that anybody could do. I'm glad he met you first.

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Michael: [imitating Elliot] I found him, he belongs to me!

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Elliot: You must be dead, because I don't know how to feel. I can't feel anything anymore.

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Tyler: [to Elliot] Douche bag.

Mary: [hits him on the head] No 'douche bag' talk in my house!

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Mary: A pizza? Who said you guys could order a pizza?

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Michael: [as Yoda] You have absolute power! Yes!

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Elliot: Think, Michael. What would make a radar?

Michael: How the hell do I know? You're the genius in the family; you have absolute power, remember?

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Michael: We're all going to die and they're never going to give me my license!

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[Mary hits E.T. with the refrigerator door]

Gertie: Here he is.

Mary: [absently] Here's who?

Gertie: The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already.

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[after E.T. learns how to talk]

Mary: Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl and stay...

Gertie: Mama, he can talk!

Mary: [thinking she meant Elliot] Of course he can talk. I'll be right back in ten minutes. Stay there.

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Elliot: [tearfully, while looking down at E.T.'s plastic-covered corpse] I'll believe in you all my life, everyday. E.T... I love you.

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E.T.: Be good.

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E.T.: [touching heart, about to leave] Ouuuuch!

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[first lines]

Steve: [reading dice] Five.

Michael: Oh, great.

Steve: So you got an arrow right in your chest.

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[having Elliot order the pizza so he can get in the game]

Greg: And plenty of sausages and pepperonis!

Tyler: Everything but the little fishies.

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[watching Elliot's house under quarantine after E.T.'s death]

Steve: Something's happening.

Greg: [sarcastically] Ooh, they're gonna die.

Tyler: Shut up, Greg.

Steve: Something is definitely happening.

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Mary: It's your turn to do the dishes, fellas.

Michael: I set and cleared.

Elliot: [in a stern tone] I set and cleared.

Michael: [quickly] I did breakfast.

Gertie: [solemnly] I did breakfast.

Michael: [noticing how upset Mary is] What's the matter, mom?

Mary: [leaves in tears, to herself, about her husband] He HATES Mexico!

Michael: [to Elliott, furiously] Damn it, why don't you - grow up and think how other people feel for a change!

[Elliott goes angry and does the dishes]

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Elliot: But, look, you can't tell. Not even Mom.

Gertie: Why not?

Elliot: Because, uh, grown-ups can't see him. Only little kids can see him.

Gertie: Give me a break!

Elliot: [Transylvanian accent] Well, do you know what's going to happen if you do tell?

[Elliot grabs Gertie's doll and throw it to Michael]

Elliot: Do it, Mike, we have to.

[Gertie begs the doll back as Elliott and Michael 'torture' it. They stop when Gertie vows to keep E.T. a secret]

Elliot: [to Gertie] Promise?

Gertie: [distressed] Yes.

Elliot: [to Michael] You promise?

[Michael nods]

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Michael: I've never driven foward before!

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Gertie: I don't like his feet.

Elliot: They're only feet, you little twerp.

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Elliot: [upon encountering E.T., running excitedly into the house] Mom, Mom! There's something out there!

Mary: What?

Elliot: It's in the toolshed. It threw the ball at me.

[Michael and his friends mock him loudly]

Elliot: QUIET!

[Michael's friends go silent]

Elliot: [in hushed tone] Nobody go out there!

Michael: [the boys all spring up excitedly] Ha! Ha! Ha!

[they grab knives]

Mary: Stop, now! You guys stay right here!

Michael: You stay here, Mom, we'll check it out!

Mary: And put those knives back!

[Elliot grabs her hand and pulls her outside as well]

Mary: Okay, Elliot! Let me get a flashlight.

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Elliot: [seeing E.T. in a dress, with a wig and jewelry] Oh, God!

E.T.: Elliot.

Elliot: [still too frustrated to notice he just spoke to him] What?

E.T.: Elliot!... Elliot!

Gertie: I taught him how to talk now. He can talk now.

[Elliot sees electronics and supplies together in the closet]

Gertie: Look what he brought up here all by himself. What's he need this stuff for?

Elliot: E.T., can you say that? Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T.

E.T.: Eeee Teee.

Elliot: [Elliot laughs in amazement]

E.T.: E.T.! E.T.! E.T.! Be good.

Gertie: "Be good"! I taught him that too!

Elliot: You should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

E.T.: [gives Elliot a newspaper and points at a comic picture] Phone.

Elliot: 'Phone'? He said 'phone'? He said 'phone'?

Gertie: Can't you understand English? He said 'phone'.

E.T.: [points to closet] Home?

Elliot: You're right. That's E.T.'s home.

E.T.: [scurries over to the window and points his long finger towards it] E.T. home phone.

Gertie: [clarifying] E.T. phone home.

Elliot: E.T. phone home.

[understanding what he means]

Elliot: E.T. phone home!

Gertie: He wants to call somebody.

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Gertie: What are you going as for Halloween?

Elliot: [Elliot is upset because nobody believes him] I'm not going to stupid Halloween.

Michael: [to Elliot] Why don't you go as a goblin?

Elliot: [flatly] Shut up.

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Michael: [walks in Elliot's room and sees E.T. in a dress; he chuckles] What's all this shit?

E.T.: E.T. phone home.

Michael: [astonished] My God, he's talking now.

E.T.: Home.

Elliot: E.T. phone home?

E.T.: [points to window] E.T. phone home.

Elliot: [whispers] And they'll come?

E.T.: Come? Home.

[pulls off wig and hat from his head]

E.T.: Home.

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Tyler: We made it! Oh shit!

E.T.: [steps on a bathroom scale, it reads 35 lbs]

Elliot: 35 pounds? You're fat!

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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