Memorable quotes for
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) More at IMDbPro »

Elliot: He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship.
Greg: Well, can't he just beam up?
Elliot: This is *reality*, Greg.

---

E.T.: E.T. phone home.

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Michael: Did you explain school to him?
Elliot: How do you explain school to higher intelligence?
Michael: Maybe he's not that smart. Maybe he's like a worker bee who only knows how to push buttons or something.
Elliot: [knowingly] He's so smart.
Michael: Okay, I just hope we don't wake up on Mars or something surrounded by millions of these little squashy guys.

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Michael: Maybe it was an iguana.
Elliot: It was *no* iguana.
Michael: Maybe, um - You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers?
Gertie: Alligators in the sewers.
Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. It happened...
Elliot: I couldn't have imagined it!
Michael: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something.
Gertie: A deformed kid.
Michael: [mockingly] Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.
Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis-breath!
Mary: [laughs in shock] *Elliott!* Sit down.

---

Michael: Maybe an elf or a leprechaun.
Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis breath!

---

Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't touch it, just call me and we'll have somebody come and take it away.
Gertie: Like the dogcatcher?
Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.

---

Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live. Could be a monkey or an orangutan.
Elliot: A bald monkey?
Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.

---

Elliot: You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.

---

Keys: Elliot, that machine, what does it do?
Elliot: The communicator? Is it still working?
Keys: It's doing *something*. What?
Elliot: I really shouldn't tell. He came to me, he came to me.
Keys: Elliot, he came to me too. I've been wishing for this since I was 10 years old, I don't want him to die. What can we do that we're not already doing?
Elliot: He needs to go home, he's calling his people, and I don't know where they are, and he needs to go home.
Keys: Elliot, I don't think he was left here intentionally, but his being here is a miracle, Elliot. It's a miracle and you did the best that anybody could do. I'm glad he met you first.

---

Michael: [imitating Elliot] I found him, he belongs to me!

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Elliot: You must be dead, because I don't know how to feel. I can't feel anything anymore.

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Tyler: [to Elliott] Douche bag.
Mary: [hits him on the head] No 'douche bag' talk in my house!

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Mary: A pizza? Who said you guys could order a pizza?

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Tyler: We made it! Oh shit!

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Michael: [as Yoda] You have absolute power! Eerrp!

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Elliot: What do I do?
Michael: I don't know. You have absolute power, remember?

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Michael: We're all going to die and they're never going to give me my license!

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Michael: Where's the playground?
Elliot: It's near the preschool!
Michael: Where's that?
Elliot: I don't know streets! Mom always drives me!
Michael: Son of a bitch.

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Elliott: I'm keeping him.

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[Mary hits E.T. with the refrigerator door]
Gertie: Here he is.
Mary: [absently] Here's who?
Gertie: The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already.

---

[after E.T. learns how to talk]
Mary: Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl and stay...
Gertie: Mama, he can talk!
Mary: [thinking she meant Elliot] Of course he can talk. I'll be right back in ten minutes. Stay there.

---

Elliot: I'll believe in you all my life.

---

[last lines]
E.T.: Come...
Elliot: Stay...
E.T.: Ouch.
Elliot: Ouch.
E.T.: I'll... be... right... here.
Elliot: ...bye.

---

E.T.: Be good.

---

E.T.: [touching heart, about to leave] Ouuuuch!

---

[first lines]
Steve: [reading dice] Five.
Michael: Oh, great.
Steve: So you got an arrow right in your chest.

---

E.T.: [steps on a bathroom scale, it reads 35 lbs]
Elliot: 35 pounds? You're fat!

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[having Elliot order the pizza so he can get in the game]
Greg: And plenty of sausages and pepperonis!
Tyler: Everything but the little fishies.

---

E.T.: [saying good-bye] Beeeeeee... gooood.
Gertie: [tearfully] Yes.

---

[watching Elliott's house under quarantine after E.T.'s death]
Steve: Something's happening.
Greg: [sarcastically] Ooh, they're gonna die.
Tyler: Shut up, Greg.
Steve: Something is definitely happening.

---

Mary: Michael, please do the dishes
Michael: I set and cleared
Elliot: *I* set and cleared
Michael: [quickly] I did breakfast
Gertie: I did breakfast
Mary: [Mary slams a pot down on the sideboard]

---

Elliot: But, look, you can't tell. Not even Mom.
Gertie: Why not?
Elliot: Because, uh, grown-ups can't see him. Only little kids can see him.
Gertie: Give me a break!
Elliot: [Transylvanian accent] Well, do you know what's going to happen if you do tell?
[Elliott grabs Gertie's doll and throw it to Michael]
Elliot: Do it, Mike, we have to.
[Gertie begs the doll back as Elliott and Michael make sounds out of the doll until they finally stop]
Elliot: [to Gertie] Promise?
Gertie: Yes.
Elliot: [to Michael] Promise?
[Michael nods]

---

Michael: I've never driven foward before!

---

Gertie: I don't like his feet.
Elliot: They're only feet, you little twerp.

---

Elliot: [upon encountering ET, running excitedly into the house] Mom, Mom! There's something out there!
Mary: What?
Elliot: It's in the toolshed. It threw the ball at me.
[Michael and his friends mock him loudly]
Elliot: QUIET!
[Michael's friends go silent]
Elliot: [in hushed tone] Nobody go out there!
Michael: [the boys all spring up excitedly] Ha! Ha! Ha!
[they grab knives]
Mary: Stop, now! You guys stay right here!
Michael: You stay here, Mom, we'll check it out!
Mary: And put those knives back!
[Elliot grabs her hands and pulls her outside as well]
Mary: Okay, Elliott!

---

Tyler: [sarcastically] Hey, Elliott, where's your goblin?
Michael: Shut up.
Steve: Did he come back?
Pretty Young Girl: Hi, Elliott.
Greg: Well, did he?
Elliot: Yeah, he came back, but he's not a goblin. He's a spaceman.
Steve: Ooh, as in extra-terrestrial!
Tyler: Where is he from, Uranus? Get it? Your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it, Ty.
Tyler: Get it, your anus?
Greg: He doesn't get it.
Elliot: You're so immature!
Greg: And you're such a cintus suprimus!
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Cintus suprimus!
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: Cintus suprimus!
Elliot: Shut up, Greg!
Greg: Cintus suprimus!
Elliot: Zero charisma!
Greg: You wimp!

---

Elliot: [seeing she has costumed E.T] Oh, God!
E.T.: Elliott.
Elliot: [still too frustrated to notice he just spoke to him] What?
E.T.: Elliott!... Elliott!
Gertie: I taught him how to talk. He can talk now.
[Elliott sees electronics and supplies together in the closet]
Gertie: Look what he brought up here all by himself. What's he need this stuff for?
Elliot: E.T., can you say that? Can you say 'E.T.'? E.T.
E.T.: E.T.
Elliot: Aha!
E.T.: E.T.! E.T.! E.T.! Be good.
Gertie: "Be good"! I taught him that too!
Elliot: Maybe you should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
E.T.: [gives Elliott a newspaper and points at a comic picture] Phone.
Elliot: 'Phone'? He said 'phone'? He said 'phone'?
Gertie: Can't you understand English? He said 'phone'. He watns to call somebody.

---

Gertie: What are you going as on Halloween? I'm going as a cowgirl
Elliot: [Elliot is upset because nobody believes him]
Elliot: [glumly] So what else is new?
Michael: [to Elliott] Why don't you go as a goblin?
Elliot: [flatly] Shut up.

---

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