Edit
The Missionary (1982) Poster

Quotes

The Bishop: I tried to teach the rudiments of rugby football. But it wasn't really their sort of thing. They hang on to the ball for too long. Weeks, sometimes.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ada: Most o' my boys just want company... a bit o' cheerin' up. I'm like a mother to 'em! Only they can't fuck their mothers so they come 'ere.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[On her husband's dying]

Lady Fermleigh: It was really a breach of manners. He's never done it before.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Slatterthwaite: You can't miss it, sir. Turn right out of the station. Or left.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lord Ames: I once had a chap before me who'd been caught stealing from the mess. I ordered every alternate fingernail to be removed, and you know, I still get a card from him every Christmas.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lord Ames: You see, what I think is wrong with the country today is that there aren't enough people chained up.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Writing to The Times on how to treat the poor]

Lord Ames: Are there two "l"s in "disembowelment"?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Deborah Fitzbanks: Everyone was asking after you. They're all terribly excited about the wedding.

Reverend Fortescue: Wedding?

Deborah Fitzbanks: OUR wedding!

Reverend Fortescue: Oh, yes... Yes.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: I shall be looking after women... Women who are in... moral trouble.

Deborah Fitzbanks: Liars?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: Deborah, do you know what is meant by "fallen women"?

Deborah Fitzbanks: Women who have hurt their knees.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: I'm going to remain a missionary.

Deborah Fitzbanks: But I thought...

Reverend Fortescue: A missionary IN ENGLAND!

Deborah Fitzbanks: But everyone's ENGLISH in England.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: The locals had never seen a bicycle before. They used to call me "The Man on the Starving Horse."

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: Vicki...

Violet: Violet.

Reverend Fortescue: Er, Violet. Would you and Ruby...

Rosie: Rosie.

Reverend Fortescue: Rosie. Go and clean upstairs, and get some help from the three girls in my bed.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[about Slatterthwaite]

Lord Ames: He really is the most disastrous butler. Can't we get rid of him?

Lady Isabel Ames: Of course we can't. He's been here for 25 years.

Lord Ames: I don't know why we ever got rid of Marcheson.

Lady Isabel Ames: You know perfectly well why we got rid of Marcheson.

Lord Ames: That was only a bit of harmless fun.

Lady Isabel Ames: Not for the parents.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lady Isabel Ames: Fetch the coaches, will you?

Corbett: Oh, I love it when you give me orders.

Lady Isabel Ames: [annoyed] NOW!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Reverend Fortescue: Isabel?

Lady Isabel Ames: Charles! What are you doing here?

Reverend Fortescue: I've come to stop you.

Lady Isabel Ames: How dare you? How dare you interfere with my plans?

Reverend Fortescue: You mustn't kill him.

Lady Isabel Ames: Why not? What business is it of yours, interfering priest?

Reverend Fortescue: You could hang for it.

Lady Isabel Ames: No one's going to hang. It's a simple shooting accident.

Reverend Fortescue: Isabel, this is England in 1906. People don't go around killing each other just because they don't get on!

Lady Isabel Ames: No, they just endure don't they? Stiff upper lip, that's the British way. I'm sure it wasn't like that in Africa.

Reverend Fortescue: Africa's primitive!

Lady Isabel Ames: Oh, yes. God save us from being primitive.

Reverend Fortescue: There's not so much wrong with the British way, for your class especially.

Lady Isabel Ames: My class? This is not my class, Charles.

Reverend Fortescue: You know what I mean.

Lady Isabel Ames: You don't know what *I* mean.

[Adopts a changed accent and demeanor]

Lady Isabel Ames: You alone, sir? Want some company? Clean and cheap?

[She returns to normal, Fortescue is speechless]

Lady Isabel Ames: Yes. I've disguised it well, haven't I? I had to. The honest tart never gets anywhere. No, they're not my bloody class, thank God!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Attempting to talk her out of a dangerous plan]

Reverend Fortescue: Isabel, I...

Lady Isabel Ames: Please, don't. I don't want to be understood.

[pauses]

Lady Isabel Ames: Not now.

Reverend Fortescue: What are you going to do? What are you going to gain from this?

[Isabel begins to say something, tearfully sighs, and walks out the door]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Isabel has been injured]

Reverend Fortescue: I'm sorry. Dear, God, I'm so sorry.

Lady Isabel Ames: You were only trying to do the decent thing.

[Fortescue begins to drape his coat around her]

Lady Isabel Ames: No, don't Charles.

[He continues anyway]

Lady Isabel Ames: That's the trouble with you. You're far too decent.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lady Isabel Ames: I got it all wrong, didn't I?

Reverend Fortescue: What do you mean?

Lady Isabel Ames: I tried to convert the missionary.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page