Adrian Edmondson plays a clown who is not happy with his job at his father's circus, so he gets into politics, and some weeks later he is the Prime Minister John Major. But after his day job, he has to attend to his real job as Bozo the Clown. He falls in love with the leader of the opposition party, but she falls in love with Bozo the Clown without knowing that he is in fact John Major, the Prime Minister.
Roy Brush has aspirations to be a great footballer and this seems likely when he scores for England in the European Cup Final. To add to this he becomes a national hero,having seemingly saved a young lad from drowning. But Roy has a secret - he is gay - and the editor of the scurrilous 'Scum' tabloid is making it his business to out him. However,with the help of his manager,Roy is able to triumph at an inspirational climactic football match,where his tears touch the heart of the nation - and pundit Jimmy Twizzle gets very high on mushroom tea.
Jed, a New York cop,brings home the last Christmas turkey in the shop for his wife Sue. Unfortunately they make a dramatic discovery whilst stuffing it - namely that it is not dead. Thetturkey then takes the pair hostage,demanding that English turkey farmer Bernard Matthews releases all his birds in exchange for the couple's freedom. Although things do not go according to plan Jed and Sue have bonded with their captor and eventually help him to escape to Turkeyland and avoid the fate of being eaten.