On their way to stay with Mrs French at Hot Turkey Farm the Famous Five hear on the radio that Uncle Quentin has escaped from prison. Arriving at the farm they are appalled to meet the vulgar millionaire Mr Budweiser and his spoilt son Willy. In fact Julian and Dick are so incensed they sleep outdoors where they spy two heavies being secretly villainous. The trail leads to Love Island where they discover Uncle Quentin and his boyfriend Toby. Not only is Quentin a screaming homosexual but a crazed drug addict who needs the heavies to keep him supplied daily. He cages ...
Postman Bean is anxious to end his round early in order to catch a morning showing of 'The Sound of Muzak' at his local cinema. However he is unaware that the cinema manager Terry Toadstool is using this as a smoke screen to view a pornographic film and that Bean's wife,traffic warden Monica,is the star - until,having survived an attack by two dim policemen out to clamp down on filth,he manages to get into the cinema. Much confusion,involving a wheel-chair,a Robin Reliant and a lobster,follows.
In rural England school-teacher Susie Darling is planning to leave her boring husband Martin for lusty mechanic Dave when she meets romantic former pop star Garry Dreadful,who has moved to the village to start a traditional farm and asks her to live with him. However he decides to leave for Los Angeles and Susie returns to Martin. Will they be reunited or will she end up like a tragic Thomas Hardy heroine?
Two students calling themselves Carlos and Miguel arrive in Spain dressed as gun-slingers to live out their dream of being in a spaghetti Western. At a cafe in a remote town they meet two Australian girls who have picked up a scruffy hitch-hiker and a would-be rapist dressed as a matador. A fight breaks out but Carlos and Miguel miss out on the action - until the police arrive for a traditional shoot-out.
Eddie Monsoon is a South African entertainer who,following the failure of several pilot shows for TV in his homeland,faked his suicide,went to Brazil and then to England where he attracted notoriety with his explicit sex farces on the stage and shocking TV shows which even Channel 4 banned. Now he is in rehab at Les Incurables for the seventeenth time,a drug and alcohol addict wanted on two continents for sex crimes. In exchange for money he tells interviewer Tony Bilbow his story - before mysteriously disappearing.
Teen-age gang leaders Passion and Little Sister are released from prison,only to find that their gang the Slags have disbanded due to rival gang,the Hawaiians,who wear garlands and drink Pina Coladas. The psychotic Slags regroup for a showdown with the Hawaiians at the local swimming pool but matters are complicated when Little Sister falls in love with Hawaiians leader Ricky,though this does effect a truce - well,almost.
Janie,daughter of Commander Jackson,the head of D15,has been kidnapped and there are only two men who can save her - former agents Bonehead and Foyle,now working as actors at Tv's Tough Guys school. Hunky,hairy and always scantily clad,they are blackmailed into returning to work and,since they have no car and are sometimes turned off buses,they run everywhere. Finally,during the climactic shoot-out they do what they had intended to do long ago and declare their love for each other.