A shipping disaster in the nineteenth century has stranded a man and woman in the wilds of Africa. The lady is pregnant, and gives birth to a son in their tree house. The mother dies soon ... See full summary »
Tarzan (Lord Greystoke), already well educated and fed up with civilization, returns to the jungle and, more-or-less assisted by chimpanzee Cheetah and orphan boy Jai, wages war against poachers and other bad guys.
Manuel Padilla Jr.,
16-year old Anastasia and her adopted brother Damir live on a Greek island with their pervy grandfather. She dreams about having a large antique bathtub and he dreams about running a sea-side resort. They begin to fall for each other.
The son of Torren learns of his heritage, goes to avenge the deaths of his fellow villagers, and rescue his sister/love interest from the evil Dakkar and his spider cult. Ator battles giant... See full summary »
The Fighting Eagle returns again, sans Thong, to the legendary realm of Dragor to do battle with Phaedra, an evil sorceress. Her main weapon is an unstoppable warrior, known as the Master ... See full summary »
The Tarzan story from Jane's point of view. Jane Parker visits her father in Africa where she joins him on an expedition. A couple of brief encounters with Tarzan establish a (sexual) bond between her and Tarzan. When the expedition is captured by savages, Tarzan comes to the rescue. Written by
Film critic Leonard Maltin once quipped that this movie almost forced him to create a rating lower than bomb. See more »
There are no wild reticulated or Burmese pythons in Africa. See more »
Jane, do you know what he wants? What this ape wants?
He's not an ape!
He is an ape. He lives like an ape, he kills like an ape. But do you understand what he wants?
You know everything...
Well, this ape son of a bitch wants you.
I'm gonna catch that animal son of a bitch, Mr Holt!
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Tarzan and Jane play with an orangutan throughout the end credits. See more »
So, just how bad is the 1981 version of Tarzan the Ape Man? Everybody knows that it has a reputation as one of the very worst movies ever made, so when you sit down to watch it, you know it's going to be rubbish. The main element of fun is experiencing just how bad it really is. Can it really surpass Plan 9 From Outer Space? Is it as idiotic as Astro Zombies? Is it as boring as The Bible....in the Beginning? Is it as unintentionally funny as The Swarm? The answer is.... yes! This movie really is right down there with the worst twenty or so films ever made.
The story focuses more on Jane (the talentless Bo Derek), who arrives in Africa to reunite with her tyrannical, boozy, abusive father (Richard Harris). During a jungle expedition, she goes missing and is rescued by ape man Tarzan (Miles O'Keefe), only to fall in love with him.
O'Keefe is unquestionably the worst Tarzan ever, and Derek is probably the worst Jane. Richard Harris's performance is energetic and entertaining, but why he bothered to put in such a lively performance is anybody's guess. It's certainly a wasted effort.
The backdrop is nicely photographed, but then again anyone can design a nice postcard. The characters moving around in front of the scenery are so banal and idiotic that the film fails on every level. The worst moment of all is the dreary slow-motion snake wrestling sequence. Bo Derek strips off regularly, but after seeing her tits five or six times, you start to get fed up even with that.
Miss this movie at all costs. Unless you want to compile a list of the worst films ever.... if that's your aim, then this is a must!
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