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Private Lessons (1981) Poster

Quotes

Philly: If you're gonna get a new job, you're gonna have to have a letter of reference, from my father.

Mallow: Well, your father might not think I've been working long enough.

Philly: I didn't mean for him to write it. But, I know what he'd say if he knew you as well as I do: She was passionate about her household duties.

Mallow: And she kept things well in hand!

Philly: She gave everything she had to her employer.

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Mallow: Would you like to join me?

Philly: Would I like to what?

Mallow: Take a bath with me.

Philly: You mean, in there? With you? Right now?

Mallow: Why don't you try it. Maybe you'll like it.

Philly: Well, eh, I probably wouldn't even fit in there.

Mallow: Oh, yes you would! I promise.

Philly: You mean you want me to take off all my clothes and everything?

Mallow: Do you usually wear them when you take a bath?

Philly: No, not usually.

Mallow: Oh, come on, Philly. I won't even look.

Philly: I-I don't know.

Mallow: Come on, it will be an adventure!

Philly: Well, alright.

Mallow: Good.

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Sherman: Who the hell takes baths with other people, except for the Japanese, I mean. Have you heard of any?

Philly: No. Nobody except the Japanese.

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Sherman: Did you touch 'em?

Philly: What?

Sherman: Her knockers! Did you touch them?

Philly: Well, sort of.

Sherman: What do you mean, sort of? Did you or didn't you?

Philly: Well, eh, not with my hands, with my elbows.

Sherman: Doesn't that get broads hot? Touching their knockers, even with your elbows?

Philly: I don't know?

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Philly: Lots of people take baths with other people.

Sherman: Who?

Philly: The Japanese! You said so yourself. Maybe she's part Japanese?

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Philly: Listen, eh, are we going to, eh, you know?

Mallow: Would you like to?

Philly: [Shakes his head yes] Except for one thing.

Mallow: What?

Philly: Um, well, I really don't know how.

Mallow: Well, I might be able to show you.

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Philly: I'd just like to say one thing before we start.

Mallow: What?

Philly: Um, that I respect you. I don't think that you're a whore or anything like that.

Mallow: That's very sweet of you Philly.

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Sherman: You what? You asked her to marry you? What are you sick?

Philly: Yeah, I know, I should have played cool. I should have strung her along for awhile. That's the way you have to treat women.

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Mallow: He threatened to tell Immigration that I was working here illegally.

Philly: Big deal.

Mallow: I was a big deal for me. I could have been deported!

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Lester: What? What are you going to do? Tell me, what you're going to do, sweet pants?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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