A film adaptation of D.H. Lawrence's novel. After a crippling injury leaves her husband impotent, Lady Chatterly is torn between her love for her husband and her physical desires. With her ... See full summary »
Professional photographer Lauren travels to Miami to find the next hottest model for her shoot. She hooks up with her emotional Cuban limo driver Raul, but then her cheating sleazy husband Stephen shows up as well as hot Marissa.
Christine (Phoebe Cates), a student at an exclusive all-girls private school, is in love with Jim, who attends an academy for boys nearby. Christine's arch rival Jordan also has her eye on ... See full summary »
Joe and Betty run a fish market and have sunk into a comfortable, if somewhat boring life. Enter the drifter Nick, who takes a job in the store and a place in their home. He proceeds to ... See full summary »
Robert M. Young
Edward James Olmos,
Maria Conchita Alonso,
Phillip Filmore is a naive, 15-year-old, preoccupied with sex, who develops a crush on Nicole Mallow, the new 30-something, French housekeeper and sitter to look after him when Phillip's father is out of town for the summer on a "business" trip. But Mr. Filmore's unscrupulous chauffeur, Lester Lewis, takes advantage of Phillip's crush on Nicole to hire her to seduce the youth, then draws her into a plot to fake her own death in a blackmail scheme aimed to drain Phillip's trust fund. Written by
According to the 80s Rewind website, about two years after this movie actress Sylvia Kristel appeared in Private School (1983) "only as a contractual obligation to the producers of this movie. She had previously worked with them in another "Private" movie . . . Private Lessons (1981)". See more »
It is obvious that a body double for Sylvia Kristel is used during the nude scenes - Kristel's nipples are not as protuberant as those of her double, Judy Helden. See more »
If you're gonna get a new job, you're gonna have to have a letter of reference, from my father.
Well, your father might not think I've been working long enough.
I didn't mean for him to write it. But, I know what he'd say if he knew you as well as I do: She was passionate about her household duties.
And she kept things well in hand!
She gave everything she had to her employer.
See more »
If older women make beautiful lovers, then how come there aren't more Nicole Mallows?!
"Private Lessons" isn't astonishingly bad... if you can look at it from the standpoint of it being a cheap adolescent thrill on late-night "Skin-emax" or any other premium station du jour. I'm mostly fine with plots involving taboo; even the "Onegai" series of anime doesn't phase me. But I will say this: the one and only reason anyone should feel compelled to watch this movie is to see the rather hot (back then anyway) Sylvia Kristel in the nude. It does have a cute premise, but it's never done much justice due to all of the amateurish writing and pacing.
Eric Brown is Phillip Fillmore (Philly Philly??), a 15-year-old kid with hormones gone berserk. In other words, he's pretty damn average. His deadbeat dad has left on a... business trip (wink wink nudge nudge) and has left Philly back home with his recently arrived immigrant housekeeper Nicole Mallow (Kristel) and sleazy chauffeur Lester (Howard Hesseman). Seems Philly's got the hots for Nicole, and Lester takes advantage of this, persuading Nicole to fake her own death at the hands (or loins) of the boy so he can make off with Philly's money like a bandit. But Nicole switches around mid-plot, deciding instead to help stop Lester's Half-Baked Evil Scheme. Cue several slapstick hijinks culminating in a final sex scene and serve.
Obviously, you don't watch movies like this for plots, no matter how inane and far-fetched they may be; you watch them to get sprung. Alas, this was back in the early eighties, and unless you had a big name and/or a lot of cash to burn, your film was almost destined to rot in film quality hell. Such seems to have been the case with "Private Lessons," and the fact that it is billed as a comedy rather than an adult movie bewilders me to no end. Even with the nudity, the filmography is agonizing to watch, but since this was probably produced as a "quick buck" teen-pleaser, that's not surprising. Panning shots of Kristel fondling or teasing Brown while the kid makes goofy, unrealistic "shocked and amazed" expressions are about as dynamic as this thing gets.
I should also mention that the character of Philly's chubby friend (Patrick Piccininni) is simply the most irritating part of the movie in my opinion. Some people have commented that this character, who comes across as being doomed to remain a virgin for the rest of his life, is rather cute in his behavior, and I fail to see how they arrive at that judgment... as if one gawking teenage boy wasn't enough. Hesseman's character is strictly porno-level, period, end of story. Even Dan Greenburg, the author of the book this film is based on, had the ego to have a bit role as the hotel owner, even going so far as to appear fully credited in the "profile" shots of the cast during the closing credits!
It's hard to recommend "Private Lessons" for any other reason than the aforementioned Ms. Kristel and the fact that it is better than most soft-porn out there. Aside from these aspects, it's downright mediocre.
9 of 12 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?