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Polyester (1981) Poster

(1981)

Quotes

Sandra Sullivan: Children would only get in the way of our erotic lifestyle!

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Cuddles Kovinsky: Oh Heintz, she's straight from the gutter!

Heintz: A sporting girl, I would imagine.

Cuddles Kovinsky: A fille de joie!

Heintz: It saddens me that you have to see anything this common, madame.

Cuddles Kovinsky: Purr Francine! Purr, purr Francine!

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Cuddles Kovinsky: Gee, Francine! You're the most drinkin'est gal I know!

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Dr. Quackenshaw: [with German accent] Hello moviegoers. I am Doctor Arnold Quackenshaw. And I am here to explain to you the wondrous screen gimmick... Odorama. Odorama will enable you, ze viewer, to actually *smell* right from your movie seat, some of life's most fragrant odors. Ze producers of zis film have *unselfishly* spent untold *millions* of dollars to develop zis startling process. And I, *I* have been... locked away for many years, in ze laboratory, experimenting with this *mindboggling* project. I would like to share with you some of my research.

[walks over to a chart]

Dr. Quackenshaw: All right, first of all, this... is da nose, da most prominent part of the human face. It bears the nostrils und covers the nasal passsages. We all have one, zis nose. Call it what you will - schneezer, schnoz, beak, schmeller, schnout, schnoot - it all means the same thing. Through zis nose comes some of life's most rewarding sensations, und we plan to share with you some of ze most beautiful odors known to mankind. *Unfortunately,* zis same nose... is also responsible for bringing us some odors that are rather... repulsive. We have not shied away from zis distressing fact. You will experience some odors that may *shock* you. But ze producers of zis film believe that today's audiences are mature enough to accept ze fact that some things in life just plain stink.

[walks over to a counter top]

Dr. Quackenshaw: All right now, this is the product of our endless experimentation: Mmm! Ze Odorama card. The card is actually quite simple to operate. Just listen carefully und follow my instructions. When a number appears on ze screen, that is your signal to scratch und to sniff ze same number on your Odorama card. Mmm. Ja? Mmm? Look - use anything you want to scratch it. Use a key, a coin, use your fingernail! Hmmm? Number one? Ah! Now sniff it, number one? Ja? See? You get it? You smell it? Yeh? It works! By God, it actually works! Ladies and gentlemen, this... is Odorama! Yeh?

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School Principal: Is Dexter ill today?

Francine Fishpaw: Why, no, Mr. Kirk. Dexter's in school.

School Principal: I'm afraid he's not, Mrs. Fishpaw. Dexter's truancy problem is way out of hand, and the Baltimore County School Board have decided to expel Dexter from the entire public school system.

Francine Fishpaw: Why Mr. Kirk - I'm as upset as you to learn of Dexter's truancy - but surely expulsion is not the answer?

School Principal: I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer. It is the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane...

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Lu-Lu Fishpaw: I never wanted to use macramé to kill!

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Cuddles Kovinsky: God, I wish I lived in Connecticut!

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Francine Fishpaw: Dexter's been expelled from school!

Cuddles Kovinsky: For what?

Francine Fishpaw: For truancy!

Cuddles Kovinsky: It's just those common Baltimore public schools. God, I wish I lived in Connecticut!

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Francine Fishpaw: [visiting La Rue in the hospital] Hello, Mother. Feeling any better today?

La Rue: How can I feel better with a drunken miser as a daughter?

Francine Fishpaw: Shut up, Mother! For forty-four years, I've tried to be a good daughter to you and all I've gotten in return is abuse. I've given you money - thousands and thousands of dollars - and still it's not enough! Well, I've had it! You can rot in that wheelchair for all I care!

[storms out of the room]

La Rue: [faking a heart attack] The pain, the pain! My heart! She's giving me a heart attack! Oh God, help! Help!

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Elmer Fishpaw: Choose your words with care, and I won't get riled!

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Elmer Fishpaw: She's the hairiest woman I've ever laid eyes on!

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Cuddles Kovinsky: Purr Francine. Purr, purr Francine!

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Cuddles Kovinsky: At first I thought he was walking his dog. Then I realized, it was his date.

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Todd Tomorrow: I got somethin' to show ya, Francine! It's long. And it's sleek. And it's powerful. It's mah new 'vette!

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Francine Fishpaw: My name is Francine Fishpaw, and I am an alcoholic!

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Lu-Lu Fishpaw: I'm gonna get an abortion and I can't WAIT!

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Francine Fishpaw: Coitus Interruptus?

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Cuddles Kovinsky: This house is just like Architectural Digest, Francine!

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La Rue: Good Lord, Francine! Don't you know it's bad luck to let retarded people in your home? Call me a cab, this instant.

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Francine Fishpaw: Oh Elmer, that dog stinks to high heaven. You'll be permeated by his odor.

Elmer Fishpaw: Yeah? Well, this whole world stinks, Francine, so get used to it! You and that big nose of yours are startin' to get on my nerves. Snortin' around the place like a goddamned anteater. I've about had it with you. Gimme that drink! Hurry up!

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Francine Fishpaw: [affectionately] Oh, Lulu, your hair looks so pretty!

Lu-Lu Fishpaw: [angrily] I *know*!

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Francine Fishpaw: Oh Cuddles, you're too *old* to be a debutante!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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