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Paternity (1981) Poster

(1981)

Quotes

Buddy Evans: My father always told me, "You can do anything you want in life, so long as you go to law school."

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Maggie: What if he asks about his mother?

Buddy Evans: Why would he do that?

Maggie: Sooner or later he's going to notice he doesn't have a mother.

Buddy Evans: I'll stall him.

Maggie: All his life?

Buddy Evans: No, all mine.

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Buddy Evans: I want this baby.

Maggie: Why this baby? Why do you want THIS baby?

Buddy Evans: Because I love it.

Maggie: You can't love anything!

Buddy Evans: I love you... five minutes ago when I smiled, it was the first time I had since you left.

Larry: Aww, isn't this wonderful? I feel like God.

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Buddy Evans: [Thinking up baby names] Quimby.

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Buddy Evans: [looking at Ms. Werner's teeth] What are those?

Ms. Werner: What are what?

Buddy Evans: Those things on your teeth.

Ms. Werner: [lisping] They're braces.

Buddy Evans: [imitates lisp] I know they're braces. But do you have to wear them?

Ms. Werner: No, they're the latest in costume jewelry. Of course I have to wear them.

Buddy Evans: I see. Well, it's just that I don't want my son to look like Jaws 2.

Ms. Werner: Well, he could end up with your forehead.

Buddy Evans: What's wrong with my forehead?

Ms. Werner: Look at those lines.

Buddy Evans: What lines?

Ms. Werner: Looks like it's suffering from erosion.

Buddy Evans: As long as we're talking about looks, your nose isn't exactly classic.

Ms. Werner: Has anyone ever suggested that you plant corn in your eyebrows?

Buddy Evans: My eyebrows are fine.

Ms. Werner: Sure, if you're into wildlife.

Buddy Evans: That's very amusing.

Ms. Werner: Thank you.

Buddy Evans: As long as we're talking about hair, about that "mat" on your head.

Ms. Werner: What about it?

Buddy Evans: Well, do you shampoo it or do you have it crop-dusted?

[chuckles]

Ms. Werner: [stepping out of Buddy's office angrily] That is the rudest man I have ever met.

Laurie: Please, forgive him. This is very important to him.

Ms. Werner: [voice breaking] I can understand about my braces, but there is nothing wrong with my nose.

Laurie: It's a terrific nose.

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Ms. Werner: [stepping into the elevator, crying] Ah, Quimby sucks!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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