Quotes
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Are you Dr. Lazarus?
Lazarus: Yes. Take two aspirin and call me in the morning. That's a doctor joke.
Share thisMarshal William T. O'Neil: Did you do autopsies?
Lazarus: No.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Why not?
Lazarus: In the first place, the company wanted the bodies shipped out as quickly as possible. In the second place, when a person exposes themselves to zero-pressure atmosphere, there isn't a whole lot left to inspect. In the third place, you're becoming a nuisance.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: [blocking her path] Yes, I know. I'd like a report of all these incidents that have happened in last six months. I'd like it really soon. Or I might just kick your nasty ass all over this room. That's a marshal joke.
Share thisLazarus: Such a smart piece of equipment, and a wreck like me trying to run it.
Share thisLazarus: You know, you haven't your medical all-star here. Company doctors are like ship's doctors. Most are just one shuttle flight ahead of a malpractice suit.
Share thisSecurity Officer Slater: Some cupcake named "Cane" decided that he didn't need an environment suit. They're still sponging him off the elevator walls.
Share thisRudd: You're supposed to protect us! You're the police! It's your job! Where are your men?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: My men? My men are shit.
Share thisMarshal William T. O'Neil: How deep are you in?
Security Sergeant Montone: Not too deep... I'm paid to look the other way.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: I get it. You don't do anything bad, you just don't do anything good, right?
Share thisSecurity Sergeant Montone: Nelson, we're talking about nuclear detonators here. You don't just "lose" them and then "find" them. You lose your comb and then find it, but not detonators. Now I want to know where they were found, and who found them. You get my drift?
Share thisLazarus: Your wife is one stupid lady. You wanna go and get drunk?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Yes...
Lazarus: At least you have SOME sense left.
Share thisStation Manager Sheppard: If you're looking for money, you're smarter than you look. If you're not, you're a lot dumber.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Then I'm probably a lot dumber.
Share thisMarshal William T. O'Neil: Hey, Sheppard. Guess what I just found in a meat locker.
Station Manager Sheppard: Y'know, I have a feeling that you'll tell me even if I don't guess.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: 250 pounds of hamburger named Yario that works for you. I also found your shipment of PDE. So, I threw the hamburger in the jail, and the PDE in the toilet. Or was it the other way around? I can't remember now.
Share thisStation Manager Sheppard: Did you really destroy the entire shipment?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Yes.
Station Manager Sheppard: You do have a flair for the dramatic.
Share thisDr. Marian Lazarus: 28 in the last six months.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: I wonder how many in the six months before that...
Dr. Marian Lazarus: 24. I've got initiative.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Well. Good for you.
Dr. Marian Lazarus: Wanna know how many in the six months before that? Two.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Are you sure?
Dr. Marian Lazarus: I'm unpleasant, I'm not stupid. Of course I'm sure! I can count!
Share thisDr. Marian Lazarus: Almost everybody here doesn't have both oars in the water as far as I'm concerned. Why people "suddenly" start to lose their marbles in greater numbers is not so mystifying. I don't know why more of them didn't do it sooner.
Share thisLazarus: That's pretty good. Playing by yourself and losing. I'd join you in this dumb game if I could play sitting down. Yes, I'm well, thank you. Been pretty busy. Seems there's some kind of 'flu' going around. You have no idea the number of workers who are going to be sick this Sunday.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: What about you? Are you going to be sick this Sunday?
Lazarus: If you're looking for sterling character you're in the wrong place.
Share thisDr. Marian Lazarus: You know if you're the guy you're supposed to be, you wouldn't stick around. That's why they sent you here.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Maybe they made a mistake
Dr. Marian Lazarus: I was afraid you'd say something like that. Do you really think you're making a difference?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: [silent]
Dr. Marian Lazarus: Then why for God's sake?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: ...because... maybe they are right. They sent me here to this pile of shit because they think I belong here. I want to find out if... well if they're right. There's a whole machine that works because everybody does what they are supposed to. And I found out... I was supposed to be something I didn't like. That's what's in the program. That's my rotten little part in the rotten machine. I don't like it. So I'm going to find out if they're right.
Share thisStation Manager Sheppard: Let me tell you what you're dealing with here. I run a franchise. The company hired me to dig as much ore out of this hellhole as possible. My hookers are clean, some of them are good looking. My booze isn't watered. The workers are happy. When the workers are happy, they dig more ore. They get paid more bonus money. When they dig more ore, the company's happy. When the company's happy, I'm happy.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Sounds wonderful.
Station Manager Sheppard: Nothing here is wonderful. It works... that's enough.
Share thisLazarus: [aghast] Polydichloric euthimal! Those stupid bastards are taking polydichloric euthimal! It's an amphetamine. Strongest thing you ever saw. Makes you feel wonderful. Makes you do ten hours work in six hours, that kind of nonsense. Especially manual labor. It makes you work like a horse. The army tested it a few years ago. It made the men work alright... then it made them psychotic. It takes a while, ten maybe eleven months... and then it fries your brain.
Share thisSecurity Sergeant Montone: Now don't get your nose out of joint.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: What was that all about?
Security Sergeant Montone: It's just his way. A little ceremony for the good folk.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: I don't like his way.
Security Sergeant Montone: Yeah, well don't mess with him.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: He's an asshole.
Security Sergeant Montone: He's a very powerful asshole! Don't mess with him!
Share thisMarshal William T. O'Neil: Lazarus? It's O'Neil. Meet me in the medical lab.
Dr. Marian Lazarus: [barely awake, looking at watch] Do you know what time it is?
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Yes.
Dr. Marian Lazarus: You'd better be dying.
Share thisStation Manager Sheppard: You know, I misjudged you. You're not stupid. You're crazy. You think you've caused more than an inconvenience here? Is that what you think? Why don't you go home and polish your badge. You're dealing with grown-ups here!
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Whoever sent you that shipment is going to be mad that you lost it. Grown-ups don't have a sense of humor.
Share thisDr. Marian Lazarus: This blood is from a dead person.
Marshal William T. O'Neil: Very good.
Dr. Marian Lazarus: He ate dinner. Protein, carbohydrates... more carbohydrates. He didn't eat his vegetables.
Share thisLazarus: Don't misconstrue this. I'm not displaying character. Just temporary insanity.
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