A young European boy living in San Francisco is reluctant to marry his long-term girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first. His wealthy uncle agrees to send him on a ... See full summary »
While mainland Britain shivers in deepest winter, the northern island of Fara bakes in the nineties. The boys at the Met station have no more idea what is going on than the regulars at the ... See full summary »
Peter Cushing stars as a former priest who harbors a dark and horrible secret in his attic. The locked room serves as a prison cell for his crazed, cannibalistic adult son, who acquired his... See full summary »
Wilbur Gray, a horror writer, has stumbled upon a terrible secret, that cats are supernatural creatures who really call the shots. In a desperate attempt to get others to believe him, Wilbur spews three tales of feline horror.
A group of friends search for a young English Oxford student who has disappeared whilst researching in Greece. They are shocked to find that, wherever he has been, certain unsolved murders ... See full summary »
Stuart Whitman is Shatter, an international hitman who is hiding out in Hong Kong after he has completed a contract out on an African leader. Shatter soon finds out that everyone wants him ... See full summary »
A travelling circus in 19th century France adopts and showcases a feral "wolf boy", who grows into adulthood only to kill the one-man band. He runs off to Paris, where he develops a jealous... See full summary »
A young European boy living in San Francisco is reluctant to marry his long-term girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first. His wealthy uncle agrees to send him on a global expedition aboard his ship, but en route the boy and his travelling companion are shipwrecked on a remote island, populated by countless prehistoric creatures as well as gold-hunting bandits. Written by
Jonathon Dabell <J.D.@pixie.ntu.ac.uk>
It's been over for 5 hours and I'm still aghast...
"It's the worst movie ever" is an oft-used phrase. "It's a real turkey" has just about lost its punch. How about this for a plug line: "MONSTER ISLAND isn't a movie; it's punishment for a lifetime of horrible deeds."
I taped it for my 6-year-old son and we just got through watching the thing; I had to have a bath afterwards in case any stray remnants of this cheesy, inept, incompetently-directed, over-the-top spectacularly bad acting, ill-conceived design, Jules-Verne-insulting, direct-attack-on-filmmaking pile managed to shoot through the pixels and land on me. The looping was apparently done by performers for whom 'human' is a second language. Truly excellent actors Peter Cushing and Terence Stamp were fortunate because while top-billed, they barely had any screen time at all. I'm still floored by having to witness one of the most baroquely florid and horrendously just plain bad performances in the history of cinema: that of the estimable David Hatton as Professor Artelect. It all makes sense in a way: he must have been the title Monster; his victim the acting profession.
In summation, this is a reprehensibly dreadful z-budget debacle. Suffice it to say my young son found it unbelievably bad and he's about as easy an audience as they come. Don't just avoid this one: work hard to help find a cure for it.
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