Misterio en la isla de los monstruos (1981)

User Rating:

2.5/10   

Director:

Juan Piquer Simón

Writers:

Ron Gantman (writer)
Joaquín Grau (writer)

Release Date:

3 April 1981 (Spain)

Genre:

Adventure | Sci-Fi | Horror | Comedy

Plot:

A young European boy living in San Francisco is reluctant to marry his long-term girlfriend because he wants to travel around the world first...

Plot Keywords:

Island | Uncle | Ship | Shipwrecked | Creature

Cast

Terence Stamp	...	Taskinar / Skinner
Peter Cushing	...	William T. Kolderup
Ian Sera	...	Jeff Morgan
David Hatton	...	Thomas Artelect
Gasphar Ipua	...	Carefinatu
Blanca Estrada	...	Dominique Blanchard
Ana Obregón	...	Meg Hollaney / Meg Calderón
Frank Braña	...	Birling
Paul Naschy	...	Flynt
Gérard Tichy	...	Capt. Turkott
Manuel Pereiro
Daniel Martín
Luis Barboo
Jorge Bosso		(as George Bosso)
Ioshio Murakami	...	The Chinaman

Also Known As:

Mystery on Monster Island (Australia) (USA)
Jules Verne's 'Mystery on Monster Island' (USA) (TV title)
Monster Island (International: English title)

Runtime:

100 min

Country:

Spain | USA

Language:

English | Spanish

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Australia:G | USA:TV-PG

Filming Locations:

Canary Islands, Spain

Company:

Almena Films

It's been over for 5 hours and I'm still aghast...

"It's the worst movie ever" is an oft-used phrase. "It's a real turkey" has just about lost its punch. How about this for a plug line: "MONSTER ISLAND isn't a movie; it's punishment for a lifetime of horrible deeds."

I taped it for my 6-year-old son and we just got through watching the thing; I had to have a bath afterwards in case any stray remnants of this cheesy, inept, incompetently-directed, over-the-top spectacularly bad acting, ill-conceived design, Jules-Verne-insulting, direct-attack-on-filmmaking pile managed to shoot through the pixels and land on me. The looping was apparently done by performers for whom 'human' is a second language. Truly excellent actors Peter Cushing and Terence Stamp were fortunate because while top-billed, they barely had any screen time at all. I'm still floored by having to witness one of the most baroquely florid and horrendously just plain bad performances in the history of cinema: that of the estimable David Hatton as Professor Artelect. It all makes sense in a way: he must have been the title Monster; his victim the acting profession.

In summation, this is a reprehensibly dreadful z-budget debacle. Suffice it to say my young son found it unbelievably bad and he's about as easy an audience as they come. Don't just avoid this one: work hard to help find a cure for it.