Beth Kramer: [flicking a light switch on and off] Look Mom, Disco!
Pat Kramer: The Strange, almost stranger than strange. Unbelievable story of, Pat Kramer is the one that must be told. I know because unfortunately, I am Pat Kramer.
[rewinds tape recorder, and puts it on play]
Pat Kramer: [Tape Recorder] The strange, almost stranger than strange...
[stops tape recorder]
Jeff Kramer: Hey, Mom!
Pat Kramer: I'm busy, Jeff!
Jeff Kramer: Mom, it's an emergency!
Pat Kramer: Honey, what is it? Jeff, what is it?
Jeff Kramer: [Jeff and friends taking pictures of Pat, in front of her doll house] Say Cheese! Make believe, there's a birdie there, pose!
Pat Kramer: Jeff, go to your room right now. And the rest of you, off the furniture!
Pat Kramer: And what are you grinning at you big creep?
[smacks the Stan doll, to the floor]
Pat Kramer: Now, I am really mad.
Beth Kramer: I'm taking mom, to show and tell.
Jeff Kramer: You are not! she's comin' with me! she's gonna do A LITTLE BAR OF SOAP, and that's final!
Pat Kramer: I am mad, I want everybody out of here right now.
Pat Kramer: Please, won't you help me? You are so much kinder, than the others.
Rob: Look, I only work here lady.
Pat Kramer: Don't you know who I am? I'm the shrinking woman, I'm Pat Kramer.
Rob: You're Pat Kramer's clone, the real Pat Kramer's dead.
Pat Kramer: Dead?
Rob: Deader, than a doornail.