A young woman is gang raped and murdered in a California college town, sparking her brother Kevin to take up arms by night with a gang of like-minded vigilantes from his fraternity, ... See full summary »
Lawrence David Foldes
Lynda Day George
A high school transfer student, pushed to the edge by a trio of brutal bullies, resorts to murder to reclaim the school from oppression, and later turns against the students wanting to fill the vacuum of their oppressors.
In the prehistory of man, 12,000 years ago, two members of a superhuman tribe abuse the treasured secret of eternal youth. They use the methods of ritual cannibalism on the children of their own tribe and when discovered by the 'Queen' of the tribe, they are cursed to an eternity of old age with no chance to ever die. Now, in present day Los Angeles, their only hope to recapture eternal youth is the ritualistic sacrifice of a 16-year-old female virgin. Their existence is discovered by an investigative reporter and a young runaway child and this leads to an unexplained and terrifying confrontation. Written by
... If all you look for in a motion picture is people getting their stomachs ripped open and their hearts eaten !
Hey you don't honestly think I was gonna give DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK a good write up do you ? How on earth can anyone enjoy a movie which comes in a video box with a blood drenched man guzzling a human heart on its cover ? And before you ask It wasn't me who chose this from the video store many years ago
The story ( for want of a better word ) starts with a supernatural being who looks like David Copperfield feasting upon human hearts centuries ago . Cut to the present day he seduces a young blonde who then gives birth to a daughter called Bondi . Not only is he a terrible gourmet but he seems to have an obessesion with Australian beaches . Bondi leaves home due to her mother's jealousy due to her father's love :
" Gold . You never f***in' gave me gold "
which seems to give the movie an angle of teenage angst . Of course this is obviously coincidental because it's safe to say that no one working on this production will have ever heard of a sophisticated word like angst , I mean a script that has lines like " If you want to be my brother stop feeling me up . Brothers don't feel up sisters " is not very sophisticated
Strange that all the reviewers on this page have never gone into detail about the plot of DON'T GO NEAR THE PARK and from memory I'm having a lot of problems trying to remember what the plot was . I could tell you what happens but I don't want to spoil your enjoyment* and just like in an overblown James Bond movie lots of things may happen in the narrative but that doesn't necessarly mean the film has a plot , more of a rambling set of scenes with someone getting killed every few minutes
* That's a joke by the way . There's nothing to enjoy about this crap
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