The Creature Wasn't Nice (1983)
Annie McHugh: Dr. Stark, I sense something is troubling you.
Dr. Stark: Troubling is not the exact word I would use. Amazed, incredulous, mind-boggled... any of those words would be appropriate.
Captain Jamieson: Max, what course are we on?
Max the Computer: It's a far out course, Captain, deep into the cosmos and heading into infinity. Hey, I like that!
Captain Jamieson: Why on Earth did they ever make these abusive and emotionally unstable computers?
Annie McHugh: Remember, a major part of our training was to remain asexual.
Rodzinski: I am asexual: a sexual fiend!
Annie McHugh: If I were attacked by a pack of wild subterranean bush pigs and you possessed the only bush pig blaster in the universe, I would not want your company!
Annie McHugh: Let's just hope that Dr. Stark is in a better world.
Rodzinski: He's in that thing's stomach is where he is!
Max: Goooood morning! It's a bright new day aboard the good ship Vertigo! The time is 8:30 in the a.m. The weather outside is a brisk 200 degrees below zero.
The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your face. It could just be so yummy. I'd like to have your face, in my tummy.
The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your smile. / Your smile is so beguiling. / If I could eat your smile, / I'd be smiling.
The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your knees! / Oh they would really please me. / So let me eat those knees, /Don't you tease me!
Captain Jamieson: Max, can you pinpoint this thing precisely for us?
Max: Not a chance.
Captain Jamieson: Max, don't be a stiff! Now, are there foreign bodies on this spacecraft?
Max: Well, let me see...
[the Creature appears on a monitor]
Max: There he is! Ugly, isn't he?
Annie McHugh: Max, I need you to do me a favor.
Max: Max has the facts!
Annie McHugh: Come on, Max, this is no time for you to be a little snot. We're going to need your help.
Max: You want the facts? Just ask Max!
Dr. Stark: It doesn't want to be called a creature. It's a living organism.
Rodzinski: Mayday, Mayday, Mayday! The creature's on top of Jameson and Jameson's on top of me, the inconsiderate shit!
John: [during a cooking show put on to entertain the rest of the crew] Welcome to "Cooking with John"... I'm John
Rodzinski: No shit Sherlock!
Max the Computer: Good Morning Dr. Stark. Check out the observation window for a heavy revelation. This looks like a red letter day for you, Doc. It's an unknown and undiscovered planet and it looks like you discovered it, Doc.
Dr. Stark: An unknown and undiscovered planet and I discovered it.