Jack: It's a full moon...
David: And stick to the road. Oops.
Jack: I vote we go back to the Slaughtered Lamb.
David: I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf!
Jack: Listen to me!
David: [crying] Nurse!
Jack: The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It's boring! I'm lonely! Kill yourself, David, before you kill others.
[David continues crying]
Jack: Please don't cry.
[trying to get arrested in Trafalgar Square]
David: Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare's French!
Jack: Did you hear that?
David: I heard that.
Jack: What was it?
David: Could be a lot of things.
David: A coyote.
Jack: There aren't any coyotes in England.
David: The Hound of the Baskervilles.
Jack: Pecos Bill.
Jack: Heathcliff didn't howl!
David: No, but he was on the moors.
Jack: Now, I'm really sorry to be upsetting you, but I have to warn you.
David: Warn me?
Jack: We were attacked by a werewolf.
David: [putting his hands over his ears] I'm not listening to this!
Jack: On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered, an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.
David: Shut up!
Jack: The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you, David.
[Appearing for the first time as the undead]
Jack: Can I have a piece of toast?
David: [while transforming] I didn't mean to call you a meat loaf, Jack!
[still discussing how David can kill himself in order to lift the curse]
Harry Berman: A gun is good.
Judith Browns: You just put the gun to your forehead and pull the trigger.
Gerald Bringsley: If you put it in your mouth, then you'd be sure not to miss.
David: Thank you, you're all so thoughtful.
David: I'm a werewolf.
Alex: Are you alright?
David: I don't know, I'll let you know the next full moon.
Jack: David, you are hurting my feelings!
David: Hurting your feelings? Has it occurred to you that it might be unsettling to see you arise from the grave to visit me?
David: How could there have been witnesses? It was so dark. We were running, and I fell and Jack went to help me up, and this thing came from nowhere. I don't know what they're talking about.
Alex: Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?
Jack: There is nothing mediocre about Debbie Klein's body.
Jack: [describing his funeral] Debbie Klein cried a lot. So, so, you know what she does? She's soooo grief-stricken, she runs to find solace in Mark Levine's bed.
David: Mark... Levine?
Jack: An asshole! Life mocks me even in death!
Sean's Wife: [looking out the window as the werewolf kills two people] Sean, I think there are some hooligans in the park again.
David: I'm going to the police. Jack was right.
Alex: Jack is dead!
David: Jack is dead and six people are dead. There's gonna be a full moon tonight. I'm going to the cops.
Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go to Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational, sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake!
Jack: [to the truck driver] You have very beautiful sheep.
Truck Driver: That way is Proctor, and over here is the moors. I go this way.
Jack: Thanks for the ride, sir. You have lovely sheep.
Truck Driver: Boys, keep off the moors, stick to the roads. The best to ya...
David: Thanks again.
[then to the sheep]
David: We'll miss you.
David: Bye girls...
Gerald Bringsley: [accusing David of his murder] Whereas I am a victim of your carnivorous lunar activities.
Hospital Porter: Don't ask me, I'm just an orderly. I push things around.
Taxi Driver: Puts you in mind of the days of the old demon barber of Fleet Street, don't it?
Taxi Driver: The murders.
David: What murders?
Taxi Driver: Haven't you heard? Last night... six of 'em. All in different parts of the city, all mutilated. He must be a real right maniac, this fella.
Mr. Collins: These dumb ass kids. They never appreciate what you do for them.