Never the Twain (TV Series 1981–1991) Poster

(1981–1991)

Episode List

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Season 5

8 Jan. 1986
In Whom We Tryst
Simon and Oliver are both smitten by Simon's glamorous new assistant Belinda and both are pleasantly surprised when she reveals to both separately that she will spend a weekend away with them. Both of them turn up at the tryst at an hotel, unaware that it is a ploy to get them away whilst she and her boyfriend are robbing their shops. Fortunately Ringo saves the day - albeit by accident when he locks himself in the shop and calls the police.
 
15 Jan. 1986
Going Going Gone
The two dealers plan - separately - to spend a night at a country pub and are surprised to meet each other there, especially as they have to share a bed in the one guest room. Each is hoping to beat the other in a bid for a grandfather clock at a nearby action but, after Oliver has been locked out for the night in his pyjamas, their bickering means that neither ends up with the clock.
 
22 Jan. 1986
Thicker Than Water
Whilst drinking in the pub with Oliver Simon reveals that he is adopted, having been abandoned at an orphanage as a baby. Circumstances lead him to believe that his natural parents may be Charlie Crapper, a drunken petty thief, and his wife Lil, who sells papers on the street. He meets with them to break the bad news but fortunately they know something he does not.
 
29 Jan. 1986
Kung Who
Simon takes up judo to defend himself against likely muggers and invites Oliver to accompany him to his class at the gym. When Oliver accidentally puts on a tunic with a black belt Simon says nothing but enjoys seeing the so-called expert being pummelled by novices. Next day however Oliver gets revenge when a policeman who is a genuine black belt comes to the shop.
 
5 Feb. 1986
Reading Between the Lines
Simon is aghast to learn that oily solicitor Brimley, with whom he was at school, is handling the property next to the antique shops and plans to sell it to a fast food chain in return for an expensive car. Brimley will only reconsider if Simon and Oliver pay him a hefty bribe. Fortunately Ringo's tale of unrequited love comes to the rescue when it is discovered that the married Brimley is having an affair with Ringo's dream girl.
 
12 Feb. 1986
Definitely Not Cricket
Lady Devereaux offers Simon some sporting memorabilia at knock-down prices provided he captains her staff cricket team against the rival side led by parvenu bookie Bernie Miller. Simon is appalled to find his team comprises Lady Devereaux's elderly staff but when rain prevents the game going ahead Simon takes advantage of one staff member's prowess as a darts player and arranges a darts match instead. Miller's side gets thrashed and he has to pay her the money from the bet that his boys would win. Unfortunately for Simon this means that she no longer needs to sell him...
 

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See also

Episode Cast | Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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