Recently widowed Police Chief Carl Kanisky returns home to find his household in a mess. His housekeeper, Nell, has vacuumed his goldfish, Gertrude, his youngest daughter, Samantha, has a black eye, his middle daughter, Julie, is kissing a boy in the kitchen, and his oldest daughter, Katie, has been picked up for shoplifting.
The Chief hopes Katie will be the first member of the Kanisky family to go to college, but she doesn't believe she can do well on a test. She asks Julie to take the test for her.
Samantha runs into the house after getting into a fight. Failing to get the attention of Nell and the Chief, who are fighting because Nell sat on his hat, she runs off with a squad car.