Popeye: They've got me Olive Oyl and Swee'Pea.
Poopdeck Pappy: Olive Oyl? Swee'Pea? What are you doing, making a salad?
Poopdeck Pappy: [about children] Bless their little hears, if they was made out of gold, I'd like to sell 'em on the open market. I could make me a fortune. Kids! Eh, they don't what they're doing. Kids, dadblast 'em! They're gonna lead you to ruin. That's what they're gonna do, lead you to ruin. They cry at you when they're young, they yell at you when they're older, they borrows from you when they's middle-aged and they leave you alone to die. Without even paying you back! Children, phooey. You give them everything they want, and what do you get back in return? You get nothing! Why they're just smaller versions of us you know, but I'm not so crazy about me in the first place, so why would I want one of them? I'm asking ya. Children. Ah, children. Little children. You'll pour your heart to them, you give them everything they want. Give them candy and a lot of toys, and what do you get in return? You get a lot of noise: "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, my poppa's a mean old man!" I'm through with children, I'm through with kids. They ain't nothing I'm never gonna do about it.
Popeye: [singing] I yam what I yam, and I yam what I yam that I yam / And I got a lotta muscle, and I only gots one eye / And I'll never hurt nobodys, and I'll never tell a lie / Top to me bottom, and me bottom to me top / That's the way it is, 'til the day that I drop / What am I? I yam what I yam.
Popeye: I'm your one and only exspring. See, we got the same bulgy arms.
Poopdeck Pappy: No resemblance.
Popeye: We-we got the same squinky eye.
Poopdeck Pappy: What squinky eye?
Popeye: That's going to be hard for you to see. Oh, we even got the same pipe, Pap.
Poopdeck Pappy: You idiot, you can't inherit a pipe! Ooh, I am poppa to no male, nor no female child. That no court could prove otherwise.
Popeye: If I was gonna be Swee'Pea's mother, I should've at least let Olive be his father. Or viska versa. I ain't man enough to be no mother.
[Olive accidentally bumps into Popeye on the street and he started to swing his fists]
Olive Oyl: You scared the wits out of me.
Popeye: [Under his breath] Almost knocked'em outta you too.
Popeye: [to a photo of his Pappy] Poppa. Pretty soon, you and me are going to be together again, huh? Yeah. Thirty years ain't that long. Besides, next Wednesday's our annual-versity. Yeah? Yeah. Stay alive. That's all I'm axskin' you. Good night, Poppa.
Popeye: Another thing I got is a sensk of humiligration. Now, maybe you swabs can pool your intelligensk and sees that I'm axking you for an apologeky.
Popeye: [enters the Gambling den] Oh, what is this? A house of ill repukes? Ooh, who'd bring me infant to this den of immoraliky?
Popeye: [to Olive] Don't touch nothin', you might get a venerable disease!
Popeye: [Comes up to Geezil's grocery stand] Bunch of carrots?
Popeye: Ain't got no carrots?
[Points to them]
Popeye: What are those? Prunes?
Geezil: Phooey on carrots!
[Picks up can]
Geezil: Take broccoli!
Popeye: I'm in the mood for carrots. I need me vitamins.
Geezil: [Puts down can, then picks up another can] Phooey on carrots! Take spinach!
Popeye: If I wanted spinach, I'd ask for spinach.
Geezil: Well, why didn't you say so?
[Puts down can and picks up the bunch of carrots]
Geezil: For you, each a dollar.
Popeye: How much is the broccoli?
Geezil: Nickel, maybe dime.
Popeye: And the spinach?
Geezil: Dime, maybe quarter.
Popeye: Then how come carrots is a dollar?
Geezil: Dollar fifty. You buy what I don't feel like selling will cost you two dollars.
[Takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel]
Geezil: Ah ah ah! Deadbeat, nope! This is a nickel!
Popeye: I'm payin' what me feels like payin'.
[Walks away laughing]
Popeye - Animated Prologue: Hey, what's this? One of Bluto's tricks? I'm in the wrong movie.
Olive Oyl: Goochy goo.
Popeye: None of that baby talk around me son. Me son is gonna be a man infink, not a baby infink. Come to poppa, me little Swee'Pea. You're me little Swee'Pea.
Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea? You're bats.
Popeye: I found him in Sweethaven, that's why he is me Swee'Pea. I am calling him Swee'Pea and that is his name. Ain't that the truth?
Olive Oyl: Swee'Pea is the worst name I've ever heard on a baby.
Popeye: Well what do you wants me to call him? Baby Oyl?
Wimpy: [Wimpy is serving as referee in a boxing match between Oxblood Oxheart and Castor Oyl] Gentlemen, you know the rules - there *are* no rules. This is a fight to the finish. The first man who's dead loses.
Poopdeck Pappy: Eat that spinach.
Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach.
Poopdeck Pappy: Eat that spinach, you brat!
Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach!
Poopdeck Pappy: Uuuuuggggghhh!
Popeye: I don't wanna eat that spinach! I don't wanna! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Poopdeck Pappy: You eat that spinach!
Poopdeck Pappy: You disobedient brat!
Poopdeck Pappy: You was disobedient when you was two, and you're still disobedient now!
Poopdeck Pappy: You wouldn't eat your spinach. Spinach what kept our family strong for thousands of years. And what does me only oxspring do with it?
Popeye: Oh, what am I? Some kind of barnicle on the dinghy of life? Oh, I ain't no doctors, but I knows that I'm losing me patience. What am I? Some kind of judge or lawyers? Maybe not, but I knows what law suitks me.
[to the prositute]
Popeye: Careful there, don't ruffle me feathers.
[to himself again]
Popeye: What am I? I ain't no physcikisk, but I knows what matters. What am I? I'm Popeye the Sailor.
Popeye: Bluto. Even though you're bigger than me, you can't win, 'cause you're bad, and the good always wins over the bad.
Chorus: [singing] He's Popeye the Sailor Man, he's Popeye the Sailor Man / He's strong to the finich, cause he eats his spinach / He's Popeye the Sailor Man!
Popeye: [singing] I'm one tough gazookus, which hates all palookas / But takes on the up and square / I biffs 'em and boffs 'em , and always out-ruffs 'em / But none of them gets nowhere!
Chorus: [singing] If anyone dares to risks his fists / it's buff, and it's wham, understand?
Popeye: [singing] So keep good behavior, that's your one lifesaver / with Popeye the Sailor Man!
Popeye: What are you doing, there? No childs 'o mine will be exploiticated for ill-gotten gains.
Popeye: Yeah, that's true. You're gonna be president one day...
Olive Oyl: It is not ill-gotten, it's GOOD-gotten gains. These races will clothe us, and feed us, and save us.
Popeye: Wrong is wrong, even when it helps ya.
Wimpy: The horses are at the gates.
Olive Oyl: I think family is more important than dumb morality, hmm?
Popeye: So, you're just a landlubber, ain't you?
Olive Oyl: Oh yeah? Well, I am a woman.
Popeye: Oh yeah? Well, I am a mother.
[a frightened Olive jumps into Popeye's arms]
Popeye: We should at least have dinner first!
Popeye: I know you ain't down there. Now where ain't me Swee'Pea?
Poopdeck Pappy: Eat your spinach, you no good infink. Eat it. EAT IT. EAT IT!
Poopdeck Pappy: His mother ups and dies, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
Popeye: She choked on it, pop.
Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa out of work, and he wouldn't eat his spinach.
Popeye: It wasn't my fault.
Poopdeck Pappy: The whole country in a depressigan. Oooooohhhh, and he wouldn't eat is spinach.
Popeye: That was Coolidge, Poppa.
Poopdeck Pappy: His poppa going hungry. Going off to steal. Stealing what?
Poopdeck Pappy: So his ungrate son could grow up big and strong.
[Popeye throws the spinach behind his back]
Poopdeck Pappy: You know what I done? You know what I done when the G Man catched me and thrung me in jail?
Poopdeck Pappy: Hmm? I laughed.
Popeye: Yeah. You laughed?
Poopdeck Pappy: I laughed a whole year. Ha ha ha.
Nana Oyl: Olive, will you show Mister... Mister...
Popeye: Oh. Popeye, ma'am.
Nana Oyl: Mr. Eye the spare room?
Bluto: [singing] I'm so mean, I had a dream of beatin' myself up. 'Broke my nose, I broke my hand, I wrestled myself to the ground and then, I choked myself to death and broke the choke, and woke up. Aaaarrrrrrgh. I'm mean. You know what I mean. If you know what I mean, you'll know what I mean! I'm mean! Meaner than... I sure am mean. Yeah, mean. I'm meaner than that. You know what I mean. I'm so damn mean! I'm mean!
Poopdeck Pappy: I never seen anything like this before in me life, talking to your poor old father like that, you disobedient brat. You're spoiled. That's what you are, spoiled.
Poopdeck Pappy: Stand to, you swab! You're casking shadows on Poopdeck Pappy. Pride of the Pacifiric. And father to the shark. Brother to the piranhaca. Cousin to the killer whale. And uncle to the octupussy.
Olive Oyl: Your father is a rat, a crook, and a kidnapper! And he's on the Commodore's right now with Bluto and Swee'Pea. That's what I can't tell you.
Popeye: No, he ain't, and my father ain't no kidnapper.
Olive Oyl: He is too. He's a rat, a crook, a kidnapper, and a bad father and more!
Olive Oyl: Yeah!
Wimpy: Well, it appears that your father is the Commodore.
Popeye: He ain't no Commodore. A hoity-toity Commodore. He would never be that.
Olive Oyl: A rat, a crook, a kidnapper, and a Commodore.
Popeye: I don't listen to the advice of some dizzy gaming broad. Now, they ain't there, and I'm gonna prove it to you.
Popeye: [to Wimpy] Where ain't they?
Wimpy: They ain't on the Commodore's boat.
Popeye: That's where they ain't? Well if that's where they ain't, I'll prove to you that that's where they ain't.
The Tax Man: You just docked?
Popeye: I has.
The Tax Man: Ah ha, let's see here, that'll be 25¢ docking tax.
Popeye: What for?
The Tax Man: Where's your sea craft?
Popeye: It ain't no sea craft, it's me dinghy and it's under the wharf.
The Tax Man: Ah ha. ahh-ha. This your goods?
Popeye: They is.
The Tax Man: Yeah. You're new in town right?
Popeye: If you call this a town, yes.
The Tax Man: Well, first of all, there's 17¢ new-in-town tax, and there's 45¢ rowboat-under-the-wharf tax, and one dollar leaving-your-junk-lying-around-the-wharf tax, so all together, you owe the Commodore $1.87.
Popeye: Uh, who's this Commodore?
The Tax Man: Is that the nature of question? There's a nickel question tax.
Poopdeck Pappy: Cut me down. Cut me down.
Popeye: [Grabbing a knife] Cut ya down, cut ya down.
Poopdeck Pappy: Cut me down.
[Popeye does. Pappy lands flat on his face and breaking the chair]
Poopdeck Pappy: Ugh, you idiot.
Popeye: You said cut you down.
Poopdeck Pappy: I didn't say *cut* me down. I said *get* me down, *get* me down. And don't you ever pick up another knife, if you do, I'll make you eat it. You'll be known as the Sword Swallowin' Sailor.
Popeye: What are you doing, Pappy? You can't fire that thing. There's women and infinks on that boat!
Poopdeck Pappy: Would you stop worrying? All I'm gonna do is fire a warning shot right across the bow. Don't you thinks I knows what I'm doing?
Poopdeck Pappy: Don't keep calling me commodore inside this here harbor. I got millions'o emenies. And you is 10 or 12 of 'em.
Poopdeck Pappy: Don't talks to me about the future. I hates the future, and I hates the past, and I hates the present. Especially you.
Nana Oyl: Get him out of that ring! Don't touch his feet! He's gotta dance with those feet!
Bluto: Okay, Shorty, the Oyls are gonna be double taxed! Triple taxed! Quadruple taxed! Surtaxed! Exercise taxed! Overtaxed! AND THUMB TAXED!
Wimpy: [singing] I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
Geezil: What is that glop you're eating?
Wimpy: It's a soup burger. These are difficult times. Burgers can't be choosers.
Poopdeck Pappy: Don't dare'st say I ain't fair. True I hates... but I come by me hatin' fair... and square. Hatin's me code. I will live and die by hate. Hate's done me more good than anything in the world.
Popeye: One thing I remember about me pap was that he always used to throw me up in the air. Yeah, heh heh... but he'd never be there when I come down, you know. Heh heh heh. Boy, he had a sensek'a humor, didn't he? Yeah, that was me pap. I remember the time he gave me a electric eel as a toy. Hah hah hah - eep! Hah, yeah, that was fun. Or, or he'd rock me cradle real, real, real hard and I'd lose me formula. And then he'd say "One day, you'll be a sailor." Heh heh heh, that's... that's what I yam today, yeah. Hm. Yeah. Sometimes he'd bounce me on his knee. Heh heh, most o' the time he'd miss, though, 'cos he couldn't see too well with one eye... heh heh heh, oh, me pap, yeah...
[everyone keeps staring at Popeye]
Popeye: This is the most fun I've ever had and still been conscious.