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The Hollywood Knights (1980) Poster

Quotes

Bimbeau: Lemme tell you buttholes somethin'! This shit's wwaaayyyyy outta line! And you squirrels better have some nuts in your mouth... or you're goin' downtown!

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Bimbeau: [after tasting the punch, which the Knights have urinated in] It does have a little wang to it. Good, though.

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Newbomb Turk: Did you ever hear the joke about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove.

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Mrs. Freidman: I've had this taste in my mouth before.

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[Dudley is calling his mother from Tubby's]

Dudley: Mother?

Dudley's Mother: Dudley?

Dudley: Mother, I am calling you to tell you I will be out rather late tonight. In point of fact, I might not be in at all.

Dudley's Mother: You're not in bed, dear?

Dudley: Mother, I have a assignation with a young lady. I am going to explore the boundaries of my manhood. Mother, I am going to get laid.

Dudley's Mother: You're going to be late, dear?

Dudley: Not late, mother, laid; the past participle of the verb 'to lay'. Mother, I am going to screw someone.

Dudley's Mother: Oh!

[faints]

Dudley: Now, I just have to figure out how.

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Mrs. Freidman: [Opens front door to find a bag on fire] Oh my god! Nevans! Juanita!

Nevans: I'll take care of it!

[Steps on the bag finding it contains dog poop]

Mrs. Freidman: It's dog shit!

Newbomb Turk: [Calling her from the street] Oh, Mrs. Freidman.

Mrs. Freidman: [Notices one of the occupants is mooning her] I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!Juanita! JUanita, get out here!

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Sally: Turk, did you come?

Newbomb Turk: A little.

Sally: A little? What do you mean a little? Either you came or you didn't come. Did you come or not?

Newbomb Turk: I came.

Sally: Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.

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Officer Clark: Don't you think I'd look good in a moustache?

Bimbeau: You'd be perfect. You'd be a perfect horse's ass.

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Newbomb Turk: [Wearing a wolf mask] Hey, Red Riding Hood, wanna be eaten by the Big, Bad Wolf?

Red Riding Hood: Fuck you Newbomb.

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[repeated line to a little boy]

Bimbeau: You little son of a bitch!

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[Sally's friends are topless sunbathing by the pool]

Sally: I don't know why you're doing that. The last time I did that my tits peeled so much I went from a B cup to an A.

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Dudley: Don't hurt me! I think I may be a bleeder!

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Smitty: Everything changes, you know that. Nothing stays the same.

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Sally: I mean, I don't know what it's gonna be. Soon I'll be going away to college and I'll probably never see you again.

Newbomb Turk: You're going to UCLA.

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Bimbeau: You know what I'd like to do to you, Newbomb? I'd like to kick the crap out of you!

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Suzie Q: How about a kiss?

Duke: Sure, those never cost anything.

Suzie Q: Yes they did. I got used to them.

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Brenda Weintraub: [Tape played over the PA system at the dance] Did you hear about Jean Freidman? I heard she had an abortion in Tijuana.

Shirley Weintraub: That's doesn't surprise me. I heard she gave half the football team the clap.

[chuckles]

Shirley Weintraub: They sure played like they still had it last week.

Newbomb Turk: That was the 'Ironbox' Twins, Brenda and Shirley Weintraub, coming to you live from the ladies' room at Tubby's Drive-In.

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Mrs. Freidman: [Speaking to a crowd of investors in her living room] Starting tomorrow, today is history...

Bimbeau: [Overheard speaking to Officer Clark from the kitchen] HORSESHIT!

Mrs. Freidman: Um, Nevans, there seems to be some sort of disturbance in the kitchen.

Nevans: Um, yes, those are members of the Hollywood Police Dept.

Mrs. Freidman: Oh, well... go take care of it.

Bimbeau: [heard from the kitchen, screaming at Officer Clark] BULLSHIT!

Nevans: I'll go see if I can't get those boys to calm down.

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Officer Clark: [singing to the theme of Lawrence of Arabia] Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. He was an English Guy. He came to fight the Turkish.

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Duke: [looking at Jimmy Shines newly finished hot rod, joking] Is this piss yellow?

Tony Nancy: [with mock shock] It's 'Tony Nancy' yellow!

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Officer Clark: [to Duke at a traffic light] OK asshole, pull this yellow piece of shit around the corner here... you got me? Hear that? Move it!... Right now, asshole!

[Duke dumps the clutch and burns away from the traffic stop, leaving Clark looking confused]

Wheatly: [yells out the window of his GTO as they pass Clark still in the street] Hey Officer Clark, are you lost or something?

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Simpson: [to Newbomb, who's back is turned] Hey pencil-dick... what time is it?

Newbomb Turk: [grabs a sandwich to throw at Simpson] Time to eat!

[turns and hurls the sandwich which hits Officer Bimbeau instead]

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Black Kid: Man, the fool ain't got no dick at all

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Sally: Turk, come over here. Now he happens to be very hysterically funny. I put him right up there with Steve and Edie. He has more talent in his little pinkie than you have in your whole... pinky.

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Dudley: We're going to... to go to... to Watts at two o'clock in the morning? Let's go!

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PomPom Girl: [During the cheerleader routine in the gym, the PomPom Girl in the middle's skirt flies up showing that she isn't wearing underwear, flashing both sides to the shock/delight of the crowd] You forgot your underwear. Your underwear!

[PomPom Girl realizes what she's done and runs off in fear and shame]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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