3 items from 2012
Get this: Gilda's Club -- the cancer support group named for Gilda Radner, who once claimed that cancer is "an elite club I'd rather not belong to" -- is getting a new name. The reason? People born after 1989 don't know who Gilda Radner is. Uh, interesting: 20-year-olds seem to know who John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, and Dan Aykroyd are, but Gilda Radner, arguably the most original and explosive talent in SNL history, slides under the radar? This is unspeakable news in the worst way possible.
Quick, please memorize these six points and tell them to everybody you know who is born in the '90s. This is an important performer for many reasons. Save the advanced knowledge about her Toronto Godspell stint, Second City, Candy Slice, her Baba Wawa impersonation that used to infuriate Barbara Walters, First Family, The Woman In Red, and the failure of Haunted Honeymoon for semi-advanced children. »
We're just barreling through 2012 here, aren't we? It scares me. You understand that next year is 2013, right? What kind of freaky Kubrickian year is that? Whatever. Let's live in the now and deny that we're heading into a staggering vortex that will kill us all.
1770: The Boston Massacre claims the lives of five Americans, including Crispus Attucks, and it serves as a catalyst for the outbreak of the American Revolution. Just five lives? Five lives are lost during most Craigslist transactions. Hope those Dale Earnhardt hubcaps were worth it, Crispus.
1956: Teena Marie, the late "Ivory Queen of Soul," is born. Immortal Jive Goddess Of Caucasia. Here are my three favorite Teena songs: 3) "Lovergirl," 2) "Square Biz," and 1) "Behind the Groove." Ohhhhh, yes. Never forget Lady T!
The Oscars is probably my favorite award show that takes place next door to a Claire's. I'm serious. Have you been to the Kodak Theatre? It's basically a big recess in a Hollywood Boulevard mall, one with a Claire's and a Guess and an Express for Men. I remember watching Kate Winslet pick up her Oscar in 2009, the year I moved to L.A., and saying aloud, "So she basically walked past a Claire's to win that." It's tragic and telling. And kind of appropriate, because the Oscars -- much as I literally can't stop thinking about them -- are a mall-brand affair. The nominees are palatable, the format is bland, and the whole ceremony is devoted to mainstream flattery and appeal. But here's the other thing: I shop at the mall. It's at least clean.
And thankfully, »
3 items from 2012
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