Doris Finsecker: I mean, if I don't have a personality of my own, so what? I'm an actress! I can put on as many personalities as I want!
Montgomery McNeil: [raises his glass] To schizophrenia!
Doris Finsecker: [also raising glass] Abso-fucking-lutely!
Montgomery McNeil: You wanna get a pizza? We could split an Angie's special - with anchovies!
Ralph: Anchovies? Man, fuck anchovies. Man, I died out there and you're talking about fucking pizza?
Montgomery McNeil: No, I'm talking about eating pizza.
Shorofsky: No! No! No! Hold the bow like this! Not like this! This isn't your dick you're holding! It's a violin bow! Hold it with respect, like...
Bruno Martelli: ...Your dick?
Doris: I HATE Ralph Garci! I must remember this feeling and use it in my acting!
Hilary van Doren: [about Leroy] Son derriere noir... c'est formidable!
Lisa Monroe: Wow, I love your accent. What did you say?
Hilary van Doren: I dig his black ass.
Doris Finsecker: Everybody falls in love with their analyst! They have a word for it, don't they?
Montgomery McNeil: Yeah. Homosexual.
Montgomery McNeil: Never being happy isn't the same as being unhappy. Is it?
Leroy Johnson: I's young, I's single, and I loves to mingle!
Hilary van Doren: You see, I was offered this place in the San Francisco Ballet. I haven't told anyone yet, but I'm gonna take it. I don't care what they think. I'm a good dancer. Better than good. Maybe even the best in the school. And that's not conceit, it's just simple honesty. If I stay in New York, everyone will think I bought my way into ABT. And I'm not starving myself for Balanchine's City Ballet. Not that I mind doing the corps de ballet bullshit. I'd sooner do it out of town. I'll pay my dues on the west coast, come back to New York a star. You see, I've always had this crazy dream of dancing all the classical roles before I'm twenty-one. I want Giselles and CoppÈlias coming out of my feet. And Sleeping Beauties, and the Swan. I want bravos in Stuttgart and Leningrad and Paris. Maybe even a ballet created especially for me. You see? There's no room for a baby.
Nurse: Will this be Master Charge or American Express, honey?
Rocky Horror Announcer: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to The Rocky Horror Picture Show!
Coco Hernandez: [the girls are fighting over Leroy] You know what they say? The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Hilary van Doren: Yes, but who wants diabetes?
Angelo: [Starts playing his son's tape on top of loudspeakers on his cab] My son's music! My son Bruno, Bruno Martelli, he wrote the music! Today 46th street, tomorrow Madison Square Garden!
Rocky Horror Announcer: This is the show! If you don't like it, go to the one in Staten Island!
Montgomery McNeil: 'A pie in the face comes with the job.' That's what my mom says; she should know.
Doris Finsecker: I don't get it.
Montgomery McNeil: A real artist must never be afraid of what other people are gonna say about him.
Shirley: It's just not fair. I didn't wanna come here, anyway. This school sucks. You done me a favour, shithead. You saved me four fuckin' years from this ass-lickin' school. You're lookin' at one happy lady. Who wants to go to a fuckin' school to learn to dance, anyway?
Miss Berg: [to Lisa] Less lip, Monroe, more sweat!
Dancer: [about Miss Berg] She's just a bitch.
Lisa Monroe: [talking to a black girl during the audition] I like your nose ring. Did it hurt, or is that ethnic?
Montgomery McNeil: What do you want, insurance? You know, back in the Middle Ages, actors - they didn't even want to bury us.
Ralph: I'm God. See. And, God is Puerto Rican. You got that? Now, God, he works in a casa de steam, it's a steam bath, right? And he's talkin' to his angel, you see, and his angel is a computer, right? An electronic computer. I'm God! See. That's why I'm standin' on this chair. You got that? Good.
Miss Berg: Where's his application?
Lydia: He doesn't have one.
Miss Berg: Well, get him one!
[Watching Leroy's dance moves]
Miss Berg: What do you call that?
Mrs. Sherwood: In the future, Mr. Johnson, I'd like you to leave your ghetto blaster at home, please.
Montgomery McNeil: [First lines] I'm always worried maybe people aren't going to like me when I go to a party. Isn't that crazy? Do you ever get a kind of a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you dread things? Gee, I wouldn't want to miss a party for anything, but, every time I go to one, I keep feeling like the whole world's against me.
Mrs. Sherwood: Speak English.
Leroy Johnson: I speak like I likes.
Mrs. Sherwood: This is my home room. You'll speak as I like. I teach English. Now, if that's a foreign language, you're going to learn it.
Mrs. Sherwood: This is no Mickey Mouse school. You're not getting off easy. Because you're talented, you'll work twice as hard. Now, I don't care how well you dance or how many colored tutus you have. If you don't give your academic subjects equal time, you're out.
Leroy Johnson: Bull sh*t!
Farrell: There are 50,000 people walking around calling themselves actors and maybe 500 are making a living at it. Most of those do commercials to pay the rent. The rest wait tables, clean other people's apartments, living on welfare and hope. And don't think talent's enough to get you through. You've gotta have a strong technique, a good agent, and, most of all, a thick skin; because, now you're part of an underprivileged minority and you're going to suffer.
Miss Berg: Pulled tendons, shin splints, swollen toes, smelly tights.
Leroy Johnson: I told you I done it and I forgot it.
Mrs. Sherwood: My hearing is fine. Its your homework that's missing. And these couple of pages I have are unintelligible.
Leroy Johnson: Its a secret language, all right? It ain't meant for whiteys to understand!
Bruno Martelli: Maybe I die and discovered and my ghost gets the Grammy.
Angelo: Maybe. Look, did I build you a studio in the basement for a ghost? Did I spend $7,000 on equipment for a ghost? Does your MaMa cook and clean and wear old clothes for a ghost? A ghost, Bruno? Elton John's Mom has got six mink coats.
Coco Hernandez: Graduating from PA is no Academy Award, if you know what I mean. Look, it is better than real school. Like, its free and you don't get raped in the hallways; but, its still small change. I'm just killin' time here. Waitin' for my opportunity. Might be in a movie or a Broadway musical. But, it's comin'! I keep my eyes open. I read "Backstage", "Show Business" and "Variety". You see, I do the whole thing. Dancing's just the tip of this iceberg. A friend of my sister's, she tells fortunes and stuff. She says I'm doing my last dance on this dark little planet. So, its gotta be spectacular, you know. How bright our spirits go shooting out into space, depends on how much we contributed to the earthly brilliance of this world. And I mean to be a major contributor!
Shorofsky: One man is not an orchestra.
Bruno Martelli: Who needs orchestras? You can do it all with a keyboard, an amp and enough power.
Shorofsky: You going to play all by yourself?
Bruno Martelli: You don't need anybody else.
Shorofsky: That's not music, Martelli. That's masturbation.
Coco Hernandez: [singing] Remember my name. Fame! I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly - high!
Montgomery McNeil: It's funny, gay used to mean such a happy kind of a word, once.
Ralph: They are looking for your type for a movie.
Doris Finsecker: What's my type?
Ralph: Well, you know, your type! Your type, Irishy, Jewishy, paranoid.
Doris Finsecker: What's the name of this movie?
Ralph: "I Was A Teenage Fag Hag".
Mrs. Finsecker: You know, the Silverman's know some very important people. They really have connections. You know they mishpocha with Soupy Sales. Oh, listen, your nice white blouse is ironed and its on your bed. Or, you could wear your pink dress? With the ribbon? You look so pretty in that.
Mrs. Sherwood: What about your book report?
Leroy Johnson: I done it!
Mrs. Sherwood: You did it.
Leroy Johnson: Yeah, one thousand words and I counted 'em too.
Mrs. Sherwood: "The Best of Playboy" is not a book report.
Farrell: Diction! Watch your diction, Ralph. You're slurring your words.
Ralph: What? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Marlon Brando slurred his words, you know. Montgomery Cliff slurred his words. James Dean slurred his words. They were the greatest actors in the whole world and nobody could understand a word they said.
Lisa Monroe: I love your coat. I saw that in Bendel's window
Hilary van Doren: My stepmother bought it for me.
Lisa Monroe: Really? I wouldn't mind that kind of step mother.
Hilary van Doren: She didn't do it for me. She wants my father to think she cares. Besides, she loves shopping. She gets multiple orgasms every time she buys something.
Lisa Monroe: Sounds great! I think I like her.
Hilary van Doren: You can have her.
Coco Hernandez: I'm a professional. A few unkind words aren't going to bother me. I know its not going to be all standing ovations.
Hilary van Doren: Certainly not for you, my dear.
Coco Hernandez: Look, I'm not my dear! You can f*ck my dear.
Hilary van Doren: Well, thank you.
[Looks at Leroy]
Hilary van Doren: That might be fun.
Coco Hernandez: That might be impossible. He's not into vanilla.
Hilary van Doren: Might be a nice change, from black cherry.
Coco Hernandez: The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice, honey.
Coco Hernandez: [singing] When I'm down and feelin' blue, I close my eyes so I can be with you. Oh, baby be strong for me; Baby belong to me. Help me through. Help me need you...
Coco Hernandez: [singing] Sometimes I wonder where I've been, Who I am, Do I fit in. I may not win, But I can't be thrown, Out here on my own...
Ralph: Doris, I wasnt' there. I wasn't f*ckin' there!
Doris Finsecker: Well, what about your father?
Ralph: Well, I happen to be between fathers right now.
Mrs. Finsecker: Barbra Streisand didn't change her name.
Doris Finsecker: I don't want to talk about it any more!
Mrs. Finsecker: Well, I'll call you Doris, like I always have.
Doris Finsecker: Well, I won't answer!
Mrs. Finsecker: It's a perfectly good name!
Doris Finsecker: Yeah, for a perfectly good person. A skinny, boring, nondescript, perfectly good person.
Leroy Johnson: Where I come from, it don't pay to read and speak white!
François Lafete: François Lafete must have total control of the creative product - like, eh, Godard. Jean-Luc Godard. Did you ever hear of that guy?
François Lafete: So, you like art movies, huh, Coco?
Coco Hernandez: Oh, Antonioni and those people? Sure. I mean it beats watching "Laverne and Shirley", right?
François Lafete: Some performers can make love to the camera. I mean, Garbo did. Monroe did. So could you.
Lisa Monroe: [singing] I sing the body electric, I celebrate the me yet to come, I toast to my own reunion, When I become one with the sun!
Coco Hernandez: And I'll look back on Venus, I'll look back on Mars, And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars, And in time, And in time, We will all be stars.
Montgomery McNeil: I sing the body electric, I glory in the glow of rebirth, Creating my own tomorrow, When I shall embody the earth...
Drama Teacher: What are you going to do?
Sheila: I'm doing "The Towering Inferno".
Drama Teacher: What?
Sheila: You know, the movie.
Drama Teacher: Oh.
Sheila: Alright, see I'm playin' O.J. Simpson, alright? And I'm in this building. Okay, there's *fire* all around! Alright, so I go to the elevator.