Don't Answer the Phone! (1980)

Director:

Robert Hammer

Writers:

Michael D. Castle (writer)
Robert Hammer (writer)

Release Date:

29 February 1980 (USA)

Genre:

Horror | Mystery | Thriller

Tagline:

He'll Know You're Alone!

Plot:

A deeply disturbed photographer and Vietnam veteran, named Kirk Smith, terrorizes Los Angeles by going...

Plot Keywords:

Photographer | Psychologist | Mirror | Nipples | Hate

Awards:

1 win

Cast

James Westmoreland	...	Lt. Chris McCabe
Ben Frank	...	Sgt. Hatcher
Flo Lawrence	...	Dr. Lindsay Gale (as Flo Gerrish)
Nicholas Worth	...	Kirk Smith
Denise Galik	...	Lisa
Stan Haze	...	Adkins
Gary Allen	...	John Feldon
Michael D. Castle	...	Lab Man (as Michael Castle)
Pamela Jean Bryant	...	Sue Ellen (as Pamela Bryant)
Ted Chapman	...	Man in Bar
Chris Wallace	...	Psychic Von Hammensveld
Dale Kalberg	...	Nurse
Deborah Leah Land	...	Police Woman
Tom Lasswell	...	Police Psychiatrist
Mike Levine	...	Gary Markov

Also Known As:

The Hollywood Strangler

Runtime:

94 min | USA:85 min (DVD)

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Mono

Certification:

Singapore:NC-16 | Iceland:16 | Canada:R | Australia:R | Denmark:15 (video rating) | France:-16 | UK:18 | USA:R | Germany:BPjM Restricted

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Scorpion

Goofs:

Revealing mistakes: The first blonde victim can clearly be seen to breathe after being strangled.

Quotes:

Sam Gluckman: I want you to know something, officer. I wouldn't print anything like this. I mean really... candles stuck in all her privates? That's just sick.

Movie Connections:

Referenced in Dead Teenager Movie (2006) (V)

Gripping Psychological Thriller (no, really, just kidding)!

This has got to be one of my all-time favorite cheesers. With awful acting, abysmal dialogue, and a senseless plot, this movie has all the makings of a classic stinker. Another thing to note is the soundtrack, which sounds like it was lifted from a B-grade porno flick, complete with wah-wah synthesizers and the "bow-chicka-bow-bow" reprisal.

Nicholas Worth, listed in the credits as "The Killer", or "The Strangler"' depending on which set you look at, delivers one of the most unintentionally hilarious performances as a deranged Vietnam veteran who likes killing young, beautiful women and then hovering over their bodies while laughing with his trademark wheezing...the guy is brilliant! Actually, that's just a joke, but then again, so is this entire movie. And why the hell do they call it "Don't Answer the Phone"? The only real phone calls of note are the ones he makes to Dr. Gail, the ultimate object of his violent misogyny. Worth has made another seminal performance this year (2000)... as the Soviet Premier in the game "Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2". Check him out, he rocks (or is that "reeks")?

However, I'd have to give the accolades for "Worst Perfomance in a Movie" to James Westmoreland. He is just plain AWFUL in this movie: contrived dialogue, stupid facial expressions, and a wardrobe that would make Wayne Newton jealous!

All in all, this is one of the best "bad" movies ever made, and I laugh uncontrollably every time I cue it up. If you're looking for 100% Velveeta, look no further: this is your movie!