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Cheech and Chong's Next Movie (1980) Poster

Quotes

Cheech: Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!

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Cheech (singing): Mexican Americans / love education / so they go to night school / and take Spanish / and get a B.

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Cheech: [seeing a jar with a yellowish fluid inside] Hey, it's about time man. Hey, what do you got man? Give me some.

Chong: What?

Cheech: Give me a drink, man. C'mon man, give me a drink!

Chong: [Points to jar] Of this?

Cheech: Yeah!

Chong: Go ahead man, help yourself!

Cheech: Wait a minute

[Sniffs the Jar]

Cheech: Hey man, that's pee!

Chong: No kidding.

Cheech: What are you doing with pee?

Chong: It's for my probation officer.

Cheech: Why, does he drink pee?

Chong: No man, last week I was supposed to bring some in, you know? and I forgot the wash the jar out first. so they see all that mayonnaise floating around in there, and they think I'm on some kind of weird drug again!

Cheech: [laughing] Alright!

Chong: And I'm really going to fuck with his mind this time.

Cheech: Why, what'd you do?

Chong: I had my sister pee in it.

Cheech: Yeah?

Chong: Yeah, and she's pregnant man!

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Cheech: Shit, man, I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.

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Guard at the Studio Entrance.: [to Cheech] Hey, Fella, you need a pass.

Cheech: [Cheech is covered in ashes after the car explosion] Oh, uh... I'm with the Towering Inferno, man.

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[after shifting gasoline that has spilt on their clothes, Chong tries to light a joint]

Chong: You got a light, man?

Chong: Huh, oh yeah, here

[hands him a lighter]

Chong: Hey I don't think you better light it in here, man.

Chong: Why?

Cheech: Ah, these gas fumes, man.

Chong: Oh man.

[flicks the lighter]

Cheech: I don't know.

[the inside of the car explodes]

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Cheech: Man, if you had a second brain, it would die of loneliness, man.

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Chong: I dig it, man. It's good. But you know, while you were singing that, I came up with another song, man.

Cheech: Oh, yeah?

Chong: Yeah. It's like the same thing, only different.

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[to a girl on the phone]

Cheech: You wanna come over to my place? Okay. I'll be here with balls on.

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Cheech: Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!

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Gloria's Mom: [while driving] Watch the road.

Cheech: OK, where's it gonna go.

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Guard at the Studio Entrance.: [to Cheech after leaving in a van] Hey, Fella, your pass?

Cheech: Pass, oh thanks a lot man.

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Cheech: Holy sheep shit! It's guitar heaven!

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Cheech: Want me to teach you some Spanish, man?

Chong: Okay.

Cheech: When you see a friend, you say, hey, how's it going, pendejo?

Chong: Hey, how's it going, pendecko?

Cheech: ...yeah, that's close enough.

Chong: What does that mean, man?

Cheech: Oh, it means my really good friend.

Chong: How's it going, pend... Pen... how was that, again?

Cheech: Pendejo.

Chong: Pendecko.

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Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Cheech! Hey, you old pile of horse shit! How are you? God damn, you got ugly! How ya doing, man?

Chong: Good, man.

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: I haven't seen you in ten years, man!

Chong: I'm not Cheech, man.

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: What?

Chong: I'm Cheech's friend Chong.

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Oh, hey, Ching! Good to meet you!

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Cheech: [waiting on date to arrive] Man, hurry up, bitch. I got lots of shit to do. Shit. If that bitch doesn't hurry up and get here, I'll have to wait some more.

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Desk Clerk: [on phone with police] Look, this is the real thing this time! There are two crazies running around tearing the place up! I already told you our location! ERRRGH! Well, what are they doing, walking over here? Look, I think they're Iranians!... okay, thanks very much.

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Pee-wee Herman: Hey, you guys look a little familiar to me!

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Hey, you smell kinda familiar.

Pee-wee Herman: Ha, ha, ha. I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, if you don't mind! If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and do it?

Gloria's Mom: Yeah, go up there and tell a joke!

Pee-wee Herman: That's right! You come up here and do it!

Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza: Okay!

Chong: Yeah, man!

Pee-wee Herman: Fuck this. I'm going somewhere else. Hey, hey, here!

[gives Red the finger and storms off]

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Chong: You're driving like an idiot, man.

Cheech: I just can't get used to these automatics, man.

Chong: Yeah, they are real complicated, aren't they?

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Cheech: Hey, that's a pretty nice car, man. Better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone.

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Cheech: I hope Donna comes pretty soon. And I hope she hasn't eaten yet because I got something for her: tubesteak smothered in underwear.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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