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Caligula (1979) Poster

(1979)

Quotes

[first lines]

Caligula: I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius Caligula, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God.

Caligula: Let them hate me, so long as they fear me.

[after a man is decapitated]

Caligula: If only all of Rome had just one neck.

[at an orgy]

Caligula: Longinus, you're not having any fun! Enjoy yourself! What is your preference?

Longinus: Everything and nothing Caesar.

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Caligula: I hear you have a taste for little boys. Is that not so?

Chaerea: No Caesar, big boys.

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Chaerea: Give him enough rope...

Longinus: ...and perhaps, he'll hang us all.

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Tiberius: Do you prefer nymphs to satyrs?

Caligula: I like both, Lord.

Tiberius: One needs both, yes, to keep healthy.

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Tiberius: Do you think this boy has been drinking?

Caligula: I think he has, Caesar.

Tiberius: So do I. Macro? Bring him more wine!

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Caligula: Caesar begged you.

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Tiberius: Serve the state, Caligula, though the people in it are wicked beasts.

Caligula: But they love you, lord.

Tiberius: Oh, no... they FEAR me... and that is much better.

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Tiberius: It is fate that rules us, Little Boots, not any god.

Caligula: You are a god.

Tiberius: No, I'm NOT! Not even when I'm dead.

Caligula: Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar, they are gods.

Tiberius: So says the senate, and so the people prefer to believe. Such myths are useless.

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Julia Drusilla: You are a fool.

Caligula: Caesar cannot be a fool!

Julia Drusilla: But he's trying very hard...

Caligula: Caesar cannot be a fool!

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Nerva: Tiberius, you were wise once.

Tiberius: Don't taunt me! I am old.

Nerva: I've watched you grow into a monster! One by one, I've seen you murder your whole family, your friends, the noblest men in Rome.

Caligula: That is treason!

Nerva: No, it's the truth.

Tiberius: I am and always have been surrounded by enemies. In my own family, in the senate... You are cruel!

Nerva: Honest old men can sometimes see the future. So, from the evils past, and the evils yet to come, I now choose to escape.

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Tiberius: Oh, yes, I am a true moralist, and stern as any Cato. Fate chose me to govern swine, in my old age, I have become a swineherd.

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Macro: Forgive me, Prince. The emperor commands you to wait upon him.

Caligula: What does he want?

Macro: A last look at you, perhaps. He is 77.

Caligula: May he live forever!

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Macro: My wife lives only to the day she can see you again, Prince.

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Caligula: Jupiter loves ME!

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[Nerva is dying]

Caligula: Nerva, what's it like?

Nerva: Warm, no pain... just drifting away.

Caligula: Can you see her?

Nerva: Who?

Caligula: The goddess, Isis?

Nerva: So you're one of those who believe...

Caligula: Do you see her?

Nerva: No.

Caligula: Are you sure? You're almost dead! What's it like, what's happening to you now?

Nerva: Slowly... drifting... like sleep...

Caligula: Liar... you can see her, I know you can! What is she like?

Nerva: No... Slowly...

Caligula: LIAR!

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[seeing Nerva has cut his wrists]

Tiberius: Cretins... why did you permit him to do it?

[to two slaves looking on]

Tiberius: Bind his wrists... BIND HIS WRISTS!

[to Nerva]

Tiberius: You must not go, you must not leave me, you are my friend, my only friend.

Nerva: I've lived too long, Tiberius, I hate my life.

Tiberius: [to the two slaves] Leave us! Both of you!

Nerva: The man to choose the hour of his own death is the closest he will ever come to tricking fate. And fate decrees that when you die, Macro will kill me.

Tiberius: I'll arrest him, have him executed!

Nerva: You can't, he controls you. Anyway, even with Macro dead,

[looking at Caligula]

Nerva: how could I go on living with this... reptile?

Tiberius: [to Caligula] You will respect my friend always, won't you, reptile?

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Tiberius: Do you think this boy has drunk enough wine?

Caligula: I think he's drunk enough, Lord.

Tiberius: So do I!

[stabs the drunk man with a sword]

Tiberius: Now he is happy.

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Tiberius: If someone else had become emperor, I would've been killed... As you will be!

[Tiberius quickly walks away as Caligula realizes]

Caligula: Will be?

[Caligula runs after Tiberius]

Caligula: Will be, Grandfather?

Tiberius: Would be, if you were not my heir.

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Proculus: Divine Ceasar, PLEASE! What have I done? Why am I here?

Caligula: Treason!

Proculus: Treason? I have always been loyal to you!

Caligula: [laughs insanely] That IS your treason! You're an honest man, Proculus, which means a bad Roman! Therefore, you are a traitor! Logical, hmm? Ha, ha, ha!

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[Caligula stands in front of a large pile of documents he's about to put his stamp on]

Caligula: I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome.

[stamps document, servant removes it from the pile]

Caligula: I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the... senate... and...

[browses through the large pile of documents]

Caligula: the people of Rome.

[Stamps document, servant removes it from pile]

Caligula: . I, Caligula Caesar,

[starts speaking faster]

Caligula: command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome.

[stamps]

Caligula: I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome.

[stamps]

Caligula: [speaking much faster] I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome.

[speaking almost unintelligible, stamps between each repeat]

Caligula: I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome. I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome. I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome. Rome! Rome! Rome! Caesar! Caesar! Rome! Rome! Rubbish! Rubbish!

[calms down]

Caligula: I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the senate and the people of Rome.

[stamps, looks at servant]

Caligula: No wonder life's so dull!

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[Caligula is raping Livia]

Caligula: Open your EYES, Livia! Lucky girl... to lose one's virginity to a direct descendent of the goddess... I, Caligula Caesar, command in the name of the... Open your eyes, Proculus! Command in the name of the senate-OPEN THEM!-the senate, and the people of... Rome!

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[Caligula is having a nightmare about Tiberius]

Tiberius: A brother kills a brother who's killed his father who's killed his son. Fate. And then someone will kill Caligula!

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[Caligula's child - who he has just announced as his son - has been born]

Julia Drusilla: It's a girl.

Caligula: It is not a girl! Did you not hear Caesar say?

Julia Drusilla: I heard the voice of Caesar. But your daughter did not.

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[Caligula is sick with the fever]

Attendent: I offer my life if Jupiter will only spare our beloved Emperor!

Caligula: Jupiter accepts your offer.

[Caligula turns to his guards]

Caligula: Execute him.

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Chaerea: Where is Britain?

Caligula: Where? There!

Chaerea: Ah, yes, Lord, there.

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Chaerea: [at an empty battlefield] There is no enemy.

Caligula: There is papyrus cane!

Chaerea: Papyrus cane, divine Caesar?

Caligula: Yes, papyrus! Don't be so stupid, Chaerea! Order my army to attack and destroy that papyrus!

Chaerea: Yes, lord.

Caligula: After all, we must have some proof that I conquered Britain!

[breaks out laughing]

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Chaerea: [Caligula is blocked from entering the palace] Password!

Caligula: Scrotum.

Chaerea: So be it!

[Chaerea strikes Caligula down with his sword]

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[last lines]

[the bloodied Caligula is dying after Chaerea strikes him on his head with a sword]

Caligula: [insanely whimpering] I... live!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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