Nine to Five (1980)
Doralee: So, you've been tellin' everybody I've been sleepin' with ya, huh? Well that explains it! That's why these people treat me like some dime-store floozy. They think I'm screwin' the boss! Oooh, and you just love it, don't you? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knockin' over pencils and pickin' up papers! Get your scummy hands offa me! Look I've been straight with you since the first day I got here, and I've put up with all of your pinchin' and starin' and chasin' me around the desk because I need this job. But this is the last straw! Look, I've got a gun out there in my purse. Up until now I've been forgivin' and forgettin' because of the way I was brought up, but I'll tell you one thing. If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And don't think I can't do it.
[a candy-striper, with a 'Buffy' nametag, approaches Violet who's hauling a dead corpse on a gurny under a sheet]
Buffy: Excuse me. Could you tell me where the coffee shop is?
Violet: [nervous tone] The what?
Buffy: The coffee shop.
Violet: The coffee shop? No, I'm new here, I don't drink coffee.
Buffy: I'm new here too. Where do you work?
Violet: Uh... downstairs.
Buffy: In the morgue?
Violet: [nervous tone] Yes, that's right!
Buffy: [looks at the body on the gurny] How did he... ?
Violet: Coffee... too much coffee. I'm just taking him out for some air. Uh, I mean fresh air for me, he's just coming along for the ride.
Buffy: Oh, you're a doctor! I'm sorry, I didn't see your badge.
[Violet looks at the badge and finally realizes that the white lab coat she's stolen is a doctor's]
Violet: Oh yeah... I'm a doctor. So why the hell am I talking to you? Piss off!
Violet: One thing you should know about dear old Roz... She's the eyes, ears, nose, and throat of Mr. Hart. Anything she hears, he hears.
Judy: You mean she's a... a company spy?
Violet: I wouldn't exactly say that, I'd just say that if you want to gossip in the ladies' room, I'd check under the stalls, first, for her shoes.
Violet: Okay, okay, I'm gonna leave, but I'm gonna tell you one thing before I go: don't you ever refer to me as 'your girl' again.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: What in God's name are you talking about?
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Doralee, now what are we gonna do about this chair?
Violet: I'll tell you what I'm talking about; I'm no girl, I'm a woman. Do you hear me? I'm not your wife or your mother...
[gesturing toward Doralee]
Violet: or even your mistress.
Violet: I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated equally with a little dignity and a little respect!
Doralee: What do you mean "mistress?"
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Never mind. She's just a little upset.
Violet: Doralee, just come off it for God's sake! The whole company knows you two are having an affair.
Doralee: Who's been saying we're having an affair?
Violet: Who's been saying it?
[points at Hart]
Violet: He has.
Doralee: [turns to Hart, wide-eyed] What?
Doralee: Well, I say we hire a couple'a wranglers to go upstairs and beat the shit out of him.
Judy: What did you say it was called?
[Passes joint to Violet]
Violet: Maui Wowee!
Judy: Well, I love it!
Violet: It's *primo!*
Doralee: That's just great! We just waltz into the hospital and say, "We're sorry, we made a mistake." Well, maybe they'll give us Hart's body in exchange!
Violet: There is no need to get sarcastic!
Violet: Oh, God. They know about the rat poison. I might as well just turn myself in.
Doralee: Violet, it was an accident.
Violet: I'm a murderer.
Judy: No, you're not.
Violet: I'm a murderess. I'm gonna go to the pen. My poor kids. I'm gonna lose my job.
Judy: Violet, stop this.
Violet: I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?
Violet: He wants to prosecute.
Doralee: Well why wouldn't he? He's got you for poisoning him, and me for roping him, and *YOU* for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot!
[Doralee's fantasy - she is a rodeo competitor and the boss is her target]
Rodeo Announcer: [voice-over] And he's out of the shute ladies and gentlemen, he's out of the shute. The pen is open and that's a mean-looking bronc. Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Whoa, she's already got him! Now, let's see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds! Just five seconds! And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, five seconds for Miss Doralee Rhodes.
Violet: What are you, a man or a mouse? I mean, a woman or a wouse?
Violet: [sees Roz approaching] Uh oh... here comes General Patton.
Doralee: [stepping out from behind the car after seeing that the wrong corpse is in the trunk of the car] Uh, Judy? Would you come back here for a second?
Judy: Who's that?
Doralee: I don't know.
Judy: Where's Hart?
Doralee: I don't know.
Judy: Oh, my God, you mean she... OH MY GOD!
Doralee: [stepping out from beind the car] Violet, honey, would you come over here for a second?
Violet: What is the matter with you two? We have got to get the - who is that?
[Violet, planning to get rid of a dead corpse from the hospital that she thinks is Hart's body, drives crazily and speeds along the highway with Doralee and Judy in the car with her]
Judy Bernly: Where's the body?
Violet Newstead: In the trunk! Look, all we have to do is get some cement blocks, chain them to his feet and pitch him off the end of the pier, and no one will ever know.
Doralee Rhodes: You are crazy! They'll find it, they always find it!
Violet Newstead: Oh-hoh, crazy am I? They never found Jimmy Hoffa!
[the captive Franklin Hart, tied down to his bed, has just been informed by the ladies about finding a company owned warehouse empty]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: An empty warehouse? What's wrong with that?
Violet: That's what Billy Sol Estes said, and they gave him 15 years for embezzlement.
Judy: That warehouse is supposed to be filled with inventory from Consolidated.
Doralee: But you sold all of it, and you pocketed the money.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: You'll never be able to prove that.
Violet: Well, I am going to order the inventory invoices from the head office in New York on Monday. When they arrive by the end of the week, I think you'll see the light.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: [getting angry] Start tangling with me and you'd better be prepared to play very rough. If you think I am going to be intimidated or stopped by you three dim-witted broads you're mistaken! No woman takes me on and gets away with it! I'm gonna get loose. I'm gonna get loose even if I have to kill one of you to do it! I will not hesitate to kill a woman!
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: [Judy's fantasy - she's a big game hunter and Hart is the prey] Judy? Judy, you've got to help me; that mob out there is crazy; they're trying to kill me!
Judy: Now, why would they want ot do a nasty little thing like that?
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I don't know! I'm not such a bad guy!
Judy: You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: So I have a few faults; who doesn't? Is that any reason to kill me?
Judy: You're foul, Hart. A wart on the nose of humanity and I'm going to blast it off.
[she points her shotgun at him]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: [giggling nervously] Judy... Judy... Judy...
Judy: Goodbye boss man. It's quittin' time.
[Violet's fantasy - she's Snow White and Hart is the villain]
Violet: Your coffee, Mr. Hart.
[Hart drinks the coffee, steam comes from his ears, he screams and his head spins around on his neck]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think there was something in that coffee.
Violet: I think you're right.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think it was poison.
Violet: Right again.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I think you did it.
Violet: [singing] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[sticks tongue out]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Why?
Violet: Why do you think?
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot?
Violet: [about Judy] But Norman, she has never worked a day in her life before.
Norman Lane: I thought you'd be sympathetic.
Violet: I am sympathetic, Norman, but please, why do I have to train her? Let her go work in somebody else's section.
Norman Lane: She's very willing and she needs the job, she's recently divorced.
Violet: So, and I'm a widow with 4 kids; Jerry should have never died, I could - I'd have been better off, I could have divorced him. Is that her?
Norman Lane: Yes.
Violet: We're gonna need a special locker for the hat.
Doralee: You know... I just don't get it, Dwayne.
Dwayne Rhodes: What's that, honey?
Doralee: I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person in that office. Everyone treats ME like a... BASTARD at a family reunion.
Roz Keith: Here, Violet, you can put this up on the bulletin board.
Violet: Thanks, Roz, I know just where to *stick* it.
Violet: What could we use to keep Hart quiet?
Violet: Blackmail, oh that sounds good! What could we get on him...?
Judy: A sex scandal! Take a picture of him in bed with a prositute.
Doralee: No, who'd care?
Violet: Yeah, Hart would just buy up all the copies and then distribute them as Christmas cards.
Violet: I have to go shopping. We're running out of everything: cat food, fish food, ant spray, rat poison.
[in Doralee's fantasy, she's the boss making advances toward her secretary Hart]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Mrs. Rhodes... I am a married man.
Doralee: Forget about your wife! I mean, you may be hers in the evening, but you're my boy from 9 to 5!
[Hart is about to be "promoted," and shanghaied from CC to Brazil, by Tinsworthy]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, but...
Russell Tinsworthy: So you accept. Very good. Let's just go on up to Hinkle's floor and work out the details, shall we?
[He marches Hart into the elevator]
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, the jungle...
Russell Tinsworthy: Jungle, hell! I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime! Two or three years down there, and you'll never wanna come back. Besides, I hear your wife just LOVES to travel.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: My WIFE?... Two or three years? Oh, God... Mister Tinsworthy...
Russell Tinsworthy: [firmly cutting him off] Hart! Let me make this perfectly clear: I ain't the kind of boy who takes "no" for an answer!
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: [feebly as the elevator doors close] Brazil...?
[Hart mistakenly believes Doralee, Violet and Judy have attempted to murder him]
Doralee: But it really was a mistake, Mr. Hart, Violet put the poison in strictly by ACCIDENT!
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Oh really? Well, she might be able to get a jury to believe that; then again, she might not. But I think the real question here is whether or not YOU want to take that chance.
Doralee: Just what are you driving at?
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: It's very simple. You come over to my house tonight and I forget the whole thing.
Doralee: You are DISGUSTING!
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: Is that a "no"? Too bad.
Judy: [to her ex-husband] Hit the road, buster, This is where you get off!
Eddie Smith: How am I supposed to get out of this mail room prison if they keep hiring people from the outside?
[to Judy Bernly]
Eddie Smith: Lady, you're gonna *hate* it, here.
Dick Bernly: [after seeing Hart tied up and drawing the wrong conclusion] So! This is what you're into now? Bondage!
Judy: What's that?
Dick Bernly: Bondage, S&M, sex games!
Judy: [thinking fast] Uh... that's right! All of it, I'm into... everything. Now, get out of here!
Dick Bernly: Who was that guy?
Judy: He's my boss.
Dick Bernly: Your boss? You're having an affair with your boss? Isn't that typical!
Judy: Just like you had an affair with your secretary!
Dick Bernly: But, Judy, you can't do this! This isn't you!
Judy: Don't you tell me what I can or can't do! Those days are over! And if I want to have an affair, or play sex games, or do M&M's, you can't stop me!
Dick Bernly: M&M's?
Doralee: Is that one of those marijuana cigarettes?
Violet: [Under her breath] We don't have enough for everyone, cool it!
Judy: [the girls have stolen the wrong body from the hospital] Oh, this is terrible. It's so improper. It's so disrespectful!
Violet: He's dead! He doesn't mind!
Violet: [getting high with the other two women and discussing Hart] I don't think I could ever shoot a gun, I don't care... I can't understand guys like Hart, who go out and shoot things, like Bambi and Thumper... and that cute little skunk?
Janitress at Hospital: [seeing the corpse hidden in the bathroom, sitting in a wheelchair] Hey, Vera. We've got another stiff in the john.
Judy: You gave me your word that you wouldn't escape if I loosened the ropes.
Franklin M. Hart Jr.: I lied!
Violet: I guess I must've made a mistake.
Doralee: You steal the wrong body from the hospital and all you can say is I must have made a mistake!
Violet: It could happen to anyone.