9 to 5 (1980)
Doralee Rhodes: So, you've been tellin' everybody I've been sleepin' with ya, huh? Well that explains it! That's why these people treat me like some dime-store floozy. They think I'm screwin' the boss! Oooh, and you just love it, don't you? It gives you some sort of cheap thrill like knockin' over pencils and pickin' up papers! Get your scummy hands offa me! Look I've been straight with you since the first day I got here, and I've put up with all of your pinchin' and starin' and chasin' me around the desk because I need this job. But this is the last straw! Look, I've got a gun out there in my purse. Up until now I've been forgivin' and forgettin' because of the way I was brought up, but I'll tell you one thing. If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot! And don't think I can't do it.
[a candy-striper, with a 'Buffy' nametag, approaches Violet who's hauling a dead corpse on a gurny under a sheet]
Buffy: Excuse me. Could you tell me where the coffee shop is?
Violet Newstead: [nervous tone] The what?
Buffy: The coffee shop.
Violet Newstead: The coffee shop? No, I'm new here, I don't drink coffee.
Buffy: I'm new here too. Where do you work?
Violet Newstead: Uh... downstairs.
Buffy: In the morgue?
Violet Newstead: [nervous tone] Yes, that's right!
Buffy: [looks at the body on the gurny] How did he... ?
Violet Newstead: Coffee... too much coffee. I'm just taking him out for some air. Uh, I mean fresh air for me, he's just coming along for the ride.
Violet Newstead: *What?*
Buffy: Oh, you're a doctor! I'm sorry, I didn't see your badge.
[Violet looks at the badge and finally realizes that the white lab coat she's stolen is a doctor's]
Violet Newstead: Oh yeah... I'm a doctor. So why the hell am I talking to you? Piss off!
Violet Newstead: One thing you should know about dear old Roz... She's the eyes, ears, nose, and throat of Mr. Hart. Anything she hears, he hears.
Judy Bernly: You mean she's a... a company spy?
Violet Newstead: I wouldn't exactly say that, I'd just say that if you want to gossip in the ladies' room, I'd check under the stalls, first, for her shoes.
Doralee Rhodes: Well, I say we hire a couple'a wranglers to go upstairs and beat the shit out of him.
Judy Bernly: What did you say it was called?
[Passes joint to Violet]
Violet Newstead: Maui Wowee!
Judy Bernly: Well, I love it!
Violet Newstead: It's *primo!*
Violet Newstead: Okay, okay, I'm gonna leave, but I'm gonna tell you one thing before I go: don't you ever refer to me as 'your girl' again.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: What in God's name are you talking about?
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Doralee, now what are we gonna do about this chair?
Violet Newstead: I'll tell you what I'm talking about; I'm no girl, I'm a woman. Do you hear me? I'm not your wife or your mother...
[gesturing toward Doralee]
Violet Newstead: or even your mistress.
Doralee Rhodes: What?
Violet Newstead: I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated equally with a little dignity and a little respect!
Doralee Rhodes: What do you mean "mistress?"
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Never mind. She's just a little upset.
Violet Newstead: Doralee, just come off it for God's sake! The whole company knows you two are having an affair.
Doralee Rhodes: Who's been saying we're having an affair?
Violet Newstead: Who's been saying it?
[points at Hart]
Violet Newstead: He has.
Doralee Rhodes: [turns to Hart, wide-eyed] What?
Violet Newstead: He wants to prosecute.
Doralee Rhodes: Well why wouldn't he? He's got you for poisoning him, and me for roping him, and *you* for acting like he was first prize at a turkey shoot!
Doralee Rhodes: That's just great! We just waltz into the hospital and say, "We're sorry, we made a mistake." Well, maybe they'll give us Hart's body in exchange!
Violet Newstead: There is no need to get sarcastic!
Violet Newstead: Oh, God. They know about the rat poison. I might as well just turn myself in.
Doralee Rhodes: Violet, it was an accident.
Violet Newstead: I'm a murderer.
Judy Bernly: No, you're not.
Violet Newstead: I'm a murderess. I'm gonna go to the pen. My poor kids. I'm gonna lose my job.
Judy Bernly: Violet, stop this.
Violet Newstead: I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?
Franklin Hart, Jr.: [Judy's fantasy - she's a big game hunter and Hart is the prey] Judy? Judy, you've got to help me; that mob out there is crazy; they're trying to kill me!
Judy Bernly: Now, why would they want ot do a nasty little thing like that?
Franklin Hart, Jr.: I don't know! I'm not such a bad guy!
Judy Bernly: You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: So I have a few faults; who doesn't? Is that any reason to kill me?
Judy Bernly: You're foul, Hart. A wart on the nose of humanity and I'm going to blast it off.
[she points her shotgun at him]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: [giggling nervously] Judy... Judy... Judy...
Judy Bernly: Goodbye boss man. It's quittin' time.
[Doralee's fantasy - she is a rodeo competitor and the boss is her target]
Rodeo Announcer: [voice-over] And he's out of the shute ladies and gentlemen, he's out of the shute. The pen is open and that's a mean-looking bronc. Our next contender is Miss Doralee Rhodes. Whoa, she's already got him! Now, let's see how long it takes her to hogtie this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds! Just five seconds! And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, five seconds for Miss Doralee Rhodes.
Doralee Rhodes: You know... I just don't get it, Dwayne.
Dwayne Rhodes: What's that, honey?
Doralee Rhodes: I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person in that office. Everyone treats *me* like a... *bastard* at a family reunion.
Violet Newstead: What could we use to keep Hart quiet?
Judy Bernly: Blackmail?
Violet Newstead: Blackmail, oh that sounds good! What could we get on him...?
Judy Bernly: A sex scandal! Take a picture of him in bed with a prositute.
Doralee Rhodes: No, who'd care?
Violet Newstead: Yeah, Hart would just buy up all the copies and then distribute them as Christmas cards.
Violet Newstead: What are you, a man or a mouse? I mean, a woman or a wouse?
[in Doralee's fantasy, she's the boss making advances toward her secretary Hart]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Mrs. Rhodes... I am a married man.
Doralee Rhodes: Forget about your wife! I mean, you may be hers in the evening, but you're my boy from nine to five!
[Hart is about to be "promoted," and shanghaied from CC to Brazil, by Tinsworthy]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, but...
Russell Tinsworthy: So you accept. Very good. Let's just go on up to Hinkle's floor and work out the details, shall we?
[He marches Hart into the elevator]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Mister Tinsworthy, the jungle...
Russell Tinsworthy: Jungle, hell! I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime! Two or three years down there, and you'll never wanna come back. Besides, I hear your wife just *loves* to travel.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: My *wife*?... Two or three years? Oh, God... Mister Tinsworthy...
Russell Tinsworthy: [firmly cutting him off] Hart! Let me make this perfectly clear: I ain't the kind of boy who takes "no" for an answer!
Franklin Hart, Jr.: [feebly as the elevator doors close] Brazil...?
Dick Bernly: [after seeing Hart tied up and drawing the wrong conclusion] So! This is what you're into now? Bondage!
Judy Bernly: What's that?
Dick Bernly: Bondage, S&M, sex games!
Judy Bernly: [thinking fast] Uh... that's right! All of it, I'm into... everything. Now, get out of here!
Dick Bernly: Who was that guy?
Judy Bernly: He's my boss.
Dick Bernly: Your boss? You're having an affair with your boss? Isn't that typical!
Judy Bernly: Just like you had an affair with your secretary!
Dick Bernly: But, Judy, you can't do this! This isn't you!
Judy Bernly: Don't you tell me what I can or can't do! Those days are over! And if I want to have an affair, or play sex games, or do M&M's, you can't stop me!
Dick Bernly: M&M's?
Violet Newstead: [sees Roz approaching] Uh oh... here comes General Patton.
Doralee Rhodes: [stepping out from behind the car after seeing that the wrong corpse is in the trunk of the car] Uh, Judy? Would you come back here for a second?
Judy Bernly: What?
Doralee Rhodes: Look.
Judy Bernly: Who's that?
Doralee Rhodes: I don't know.
Judy Bernly: Where's Hart?
Doralee Rhodes: I don't know.
Judy Bernly: Oh, my God, you mean she... *oh my god!*
Doralee Rhodes: [stepping out from beind the car] Violet, honey, would you come over here for a second?
Violet Newstead: What is the matter with you two? We have got to get the - who is that?
[Violet, planning to get rid of a dead corpse from the hospital that she thinks is Hart's body, drives crazily and speeds along the highway with Doralee and Judy in the car with her]
Judy Bernly: Where's the body?
Violet Newstead: In the trunk! Look, all we have to do is get some cement blocks, chain them to his feet and pitch him off the end of the pier, and no one will ever know.
Doralee Rhodes: You are crazy! They'll find it, they always find it!
Violet Newstead: Oh-hoh, crazy am I? They never found Jimmy Hoffa!
[the captive Franklin Hart, tied down to his bed, has just been informed by the ladies about finding a company owned warehouse empty]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: An empty warehouse? What's wrong with that?
Violet Newstead: That's what Billy Sol Estes said, and they gave him 15 years for embezzlement.
Judy Bernly: That warehouse is supposed to be filled with inventory from Consolidated.
Doralee Rhodes: But you sold all of it, and you pocketed the money.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: You'll never be able to prove that.
Violet Newstead: Well, I am going to order the inventory invoices from the head office in New York on Monday. When they arrive by the end of the week, I think you'll see the light.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: [getting angry] Start tangling with me and you'd better be prepared to play very rough. If you think I am going to be intimidated or stopped by you three dim-witted broads you're mistaken! No woman takes me on and gets away with it! I'm gonna get loose. I'm gonna get loose even if I have to kill one of you to do it! I will not hesitate to kill a woman!
[Violet's fantasy - she's Snow White and Hart is the villain]
Violet Newstead: Your coffee, Mr. Hart.
[Hart drinks the coffee, steam comes from his ears, he screams and his head spins around on his neck]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: I think there was something in that coffee.
Violet Newstead: I think you're right.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: I think it was poison.
Violet Newstead: Right again.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: I think you did it.
Violet Newstead: [singing] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[sticks tongue out]
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Why?
Violet Newstead: Why do you think?
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Because I'm a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot?
Violet Newstead: Bingo.
Violet Newstead: [about Judy] But Norman, she has never worked a day in her life before.
Norman Lane: I thought you'd be sympathetic.
Violet Newstead: I am sympathetic, Norman, but please, why do I have to train her? Let her go work in somebody else's section.
Norman Lane: She's very willing and she needs the job, she's recently divorced.
Violet Newstead: So, and I'm a widow with 4 kids; Jerry should have never died, I could - I'd have been better off, I could have divorced him. Is that her?
Norman Lane: Yes.
Violet Newstead: We're gonna need a special locker for the hat.
Roz: Here, Violet, you can put this up on the bulletin board.
Violet Newstead: Thanks, Roz, I know just where to *stick* it.
Violet Newstead: I have to go shopping. We're running out of everything: cat food, fish food, ant spray, rat poison.
[Hart mistakenly believes Doralee, Violet and Judy have attempted to murder him]
Doralee Rhodes: But it really was a mistake, Mr. Hart, Violet put the poison in strictly by *accident*!
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Oh really? Well, she might be able to get a jury to believe that; then again, she might not. But I think the real question here is whether or not *you* want to take that chance.
Doralee Rhodes: Just what are you driving at?
Franklin Hart, Jr.: It's very simple. You come over to my house tonight and I forget the whole thing.
Doralee Rhodes: You are *disgusting*!
Franklin Hart, Jr.: Is that a "no"? Too bad.
Judy Bernly: [to her ex-husband] Hit the road, buster, This is where you get off!
Doralee Rhodes: Is that one of those marijuana cigarettes?
Violet Newstead: [Under her breath] We don't have enough for everyone, cool it!
Judy: [the girls have stolen the wrong body from the hospital] Oh, this is terrible. It's so improper. It's so disrespectful!
Judy Bernly: He's dead! He doesn't mind!
Violet Newstead: [getting high with the other two women and discussing Hart] I don't think I could ever shoot a gun, I don't care... I can't understand guys like Hart, who go out and shoot things, like Bambi and Thumper... and that cute little skunk?
Janitress: [seeing the corpse hidden in the bathroom, sitting in a wheelchair] Hey, Vera. We've got another stiff in the john.
Judy Bernly: You gave me your word that you wouldn't escape if I loosened the ropes.
Franklin Hart, Jr.: I lied!
Violet Newstead: I guess I must've made a mistake.
Doralee Rhodes: You steal the wrong body from the hospital and all you can say is I must have made a mistake!
Violet Newstead: It could happen to anyone.