"Cactus" Jack Slade (Douglas) is the meanest bad man in the west or so he thinks. When a bank robbery goes awry, he lands in jail facing a hangman's noose! When the corrupt owner of the bank offers him a job, Jack sees a chance to both stay alive and get rich in the process. All he has to do is steal a strongbox full of money the banker lent to Mr. Parody Jones who needs it to keep his mining operation going. If he defaults on the loan, our "friendly" banker takes over the mine. Ms. Charming Jones (Margret) comes to town to collect the money and take it back to her father, Parody. To ensure the money makes it back home, Parody has called in a favor from a man who owes him a life debt. Enter Handsome Stranger (Schwarzenegger). The toughest and strongest hero in the west. As tough as a steel plate but, unfortunately, just as dense. As Charming and Handsome set off on their journey, Jack sets out after them. Using his trusty "Bad Men Of The West" handbook, Jack sets one trap after ... Written by
...the fastest fun in the west!
Did You Know?
When Cactus Jack is leaning over the cliff to watch Charming bathe, a pole can be seen holding him up as the small tree he is holding onto breaks away. (only visible in open matte TV showings). See more
B-b-boy, you t-t-alk f-f-u-nny.
[heavy Austrian accent
That's easy for you to say.
Referenced in Tatort: Märchenwald
Written by Buddy Cannon
, Bob Younts
, and Billy Williams
Performed by Mel Tillis See more