If you're looking for a cheerfully inane, lowbrow "late show" type of movie that just has fun with itself, look no further than Cirio H. Santiago's "Vampire Hookers", an endearingly silly enterprise with gorgeous gals, a fair bit of atmosphere, and absolutely no shortage of fart gags. John Carradine stars as Richmond Reed, suave blood sucking pimp with a trio of amazingly luscious ladies of the night - Cherish (Karen Stride), Suzy (Lenka Novak), and Marcy (Katie Dolan). They set their sights on a bumbling pair of horny Navy sailors, Tom (Bruce Fairbairn, 'The Rookies'), and Terry (Trey Wilson, "Raising Arizona") who've been out and about looking for a good time. Both Tom and Terry are cowards, but Tom can't resist the ladies for too long. Even at 80 minutes, one can feel the padding on this thing, but it's good for laughs and cheap thrills all the way. Ever lovable Vic Diaz has one of the silliest parts of his career as the servant to Reed and his girls, a man who desperately wants to be a vampire but who has an uncontrollable flatulence problem that makes lying in a coffin difficult. Fairbairn and Wilson are a reasonably engaging comedy pair, with Wilson particularly funny as a guy who feels the need to tell a certain story over and over. Stride, Novak, and Dolan are oh so delectable and help to keep the movie compulsively watchable, while the always reliable Carradine is clearly having a whale of a time as the dapper villain who just loves to quote poetry, and who informs us that while Shakespeare was a vampire, Walt Whitman was not. The music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava is enjoyable, as are the various sets. Best of all, there's a folksy title theme song playing over the end credits (as the main actors get a curtain call) that is simply awesome. You've just gotta hear it. All in all, this is an agreeable midnight movie for genre fans looking for some undemanding fun. Seven out of 10.
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