North Dallas Forty (1979)
Maxwell: That's not gross! Shit, gross is when you go to kiss your grandpa good night and he sticks his tongue down your throat. That's gross! Anyway, he's got one that's about 8 inches long and pink, and its got these little crinkles in it, and its got this grinder that makes it go in and out...
Maxwell: You had better learn how to play the game, and I don't mean just the game of football.
Joe Bob: Where's your gun, Elliott?
Phil Elliott: Freud says that guns are an extension of your dick, Jo Bob.
Phil Elliott: Jo Bob is here to remind us that the biggest and the baddest get to make all the rules.
Charlotte: Well I don't agree with that.
Phil Elliott: Agreeing doesn't play into it.
Conrad Hunter: People who confuse brains and luck can get in a whole lot of trouble. Seeing through the game is not the same as winning the game.
Coach Johnson: This is national TV. So don't pick your noses or scratch your nuts.
Phil Elliott: [Entering the huddle near the end of the game] Having fun boys?
North Dallas Lineman: Blow it up your ass.
Coach Johnson: [interrupting the pre-game team prayer] Take off your fuckin' hat! Go ahead, Father.
Coach Johnson: [shouting] Five minutes!
O. W. Shaddock: How long, coach?
Coach Johnson: Five mi... fuck you!
Jo Bob: I love your legs. They got your feet at one end, and your pussy at the other, and I wanna fuck you.
Jo Bob: I've never seen titties like yours. Could I show your titties to my friend O.W.?
Coach Johnson: If you moved any slower, you'd be going backwards!
Maxwell: You know Hartman, goodie-two-shoes is fidgeting around like a one-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond, until old Seth fixes him a couple of pink poontang specials. You know, that crazy drink that I fix for stewardesses? Two shots out of that and Hartman is shot to shit, freaked out. I mean, I never saw a guy having so much fun and crying at the same time!
O. W. Shaddock: Hey, Coach? Is it alright if me and Jo Bob have a couple copies of that poem?
Jo Bob: Yeah, we'd appreciate that Coach Johnson.
O. W. Shaddock: That has to be one of the most inspiring poems i've ever heard.
Coach Johnson: The difference between winning and losing is about this much
[holds his fingers about one inch apart]
Coach Johnson: ...
Maxwell: That's the same size as his pecker!
Maxwell: Hell, Poot, we're all whores; might as well be the best.
Phil Elliott: [as he receives a numbing injection in his knee] Better football through chemistry.
Conrad Hunter: There's one thing I learned early on in life. The most important thing a man can have.
Phil Elliott: What's that, money?
Conrad Hunter: Luck. Luck tells me something about a man. If my people are lucky, they tap into a big field. If not, they can have every geology degree in the world and drill one dry duster after another. Look at me. I'm the luckiet man in the world. Sure as hell ain't brains, is it?