The Frisco Kid (1979)
Tommy: You sure talk funny. Where you born at?
Tommy: Oh. Is that near Pittsburgh?
Avram: No, that's near Czechoslovakia.
Chief Gray Cloud: [in reference to Avram's god] What does he do?
Avram: He... He can do anything!
Chief Gray Cloud: Then why can't he make rain?
Avram: Because he doesn't make rain. He gives us strength when we're suffering. He gives us compassion when all that we feel is hatred. He gives us courage when we're searching around blindly like little mice in the darkness... but He does not make rain!
[Thunder and lightning begin, followed by a downpour]
Avram: Of course... sometimes, just like that, he'll change His mind.
Tommy: But you're a good man!
Avram: I am a good man. I am. But I'm not a Rabbi.
Tommy: Don't say that!
Avram: Tommy, I'm not a Rabbi.
Tommy: Don't SAY that!
[Throws food at Avram in anger]
Tommy: You are a Rabbi. I'm a bank robber. I'm a card player and a whoremonger. That's what I am. YOU are a Rabbi. You can fall in the mud, you can slip on your ass, you can travel in the wrong direction. But even on your ass, even in the mud, even if you go in the wrong direction for a little while, you're STILL a Rabbi! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!
Avram: [Trying to catch a wild 'chicken'] Chicken, chicken, chicken! Chickie-chickie-chickie-chicken! Come here,
Avram: I don't want to hurt you, I just want to eat you.
[repeats in Yiddish, 'chicken' flies away]
Avram: Come here, wait! I don't want to hurt you! I just want to make you kosher!
[Avram teaches some Indians how Jews dance]
Avram: Watch that lady. I think that lady's a Jewish Indian.
Avram: [voiceover] In the Talmud, it says "find thyself a teacher" and this I have done. However, there were times I feared that he would find another pupil.
[Tommy and Avram are being chased by a posse, but Avram won't ride on the sabbath]
Tommy: You give me the pee-doodles!
Chief Gray Cloud: ...And you, who speak to Indians as if to little children: Your heart is big. Not as big as your mouth, but you have good feelings inside.
[Matt Diggs considers reaching for his gun]
Tommy: Reach for it! PLEASE!
Tommy: [Points to his horse's rump] What do you call this in Jewish?
Avram: Uh, a tuchas.
Tommy: Well, you keep your eyes on this took-iss, and don't take them off 'till I tell you!
Avram: ...In that case, would you like to fight for that last fish?
Tommy: You think you got a chance?
Avram: I think I can say with complete confidence... None, whatsoever; But I'm still hungry.
Tommy: Help yourself.
Avram: [Avram and Tommy are cuddled together under a blanket during the blizzard] We are doing this to keep warm, aren't we?
Avram: In that case, you can put your arms around me.
Tommy: Come here, darling.
Avram: Would somebody please show this poor asshole the way out of town.
Tommy: [Tommy sees Avram coming out of a Wells Fargo office] You did it, didn't you? You give 'em back the money?
Tommy: Yep. Well that ain't the American way. What's more, now you ain't got no money. Well now what'cha gonna do?
Tommy: You don't know. Well I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get me a bath. Then I'm gonna get drunk. Then I'm gonna catch me a whore with great big tits. Then I'm gonna get drunk again. Then I'm gonna rob that Wells Fargo office and get me my money back, ya dumb-ass Jew!